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Original poster

Hen weekend costing more and more each day

128 replies

Dawn1992 · 27/01/2018 10:11

Hi. My bfs hen do is next month and the cost of it seems to be growing arms and legs. Especially down to the fact that I'm also a bridesmaid. My bf doesn't know about it as she's not part of the planning it's a surprise. She would be very unhappy about the costs I can assure you. The bridesmaids have had to pay for people who have pulled out to cover the cost of the house for the weekend. Now the other bridesmaids are demanding another £40pp for alcohol and food. I'm happy to pay £20 for food costs but they all know I'm pregnant and will not be drinking but are still expecting me to pay for alcohol.. aibu to refuse? I've also refused to pay for a mini bus as I will not be on it. I live 20 mins away from where the house is so I'm driving down on my own. If I were to get the mini bus I would have to drive 45mins in the opposite direction to leave my car then spend over an hour on the bus (which the brides not even going to be on as she's going in the car with her mum) I'm just getting really ticked off at the whole thing!!

OP posts:
Samewitches · 27/01/2018 20:40

Who are the other bridesmaids? Are you all part of one longstanding friendship group or do you not know them very well? I'm just being nosey really, I can see how if you were all just acquaintances who were friendly with the bride it'd be really awkward to put your foot down but if you're all good friends they're taking the piss way more!

Original poster
Dawn1992 · 27/01/2018 20:47

I don't know the other bridesmaids well. I'm sort the odd one out tbh. I live 45 mins from where the other girls stay including bride who see each other frequently as they all live in the same area. Me and bride met at a house party at 18 and have been friends ever since.

OP posts:
MsHarry · 27/01/2018 21:17

I wouldn't spend that on a hen weekend. It's all got out of hand. What used to be a local night out has got out of hand.

MsHarry · 27/01/2018 21:18

Sorry I read that as £400!!!! No you shouldn't have to pay for alcohol.

Katherine2626 · 28/01/2018 17:36

You are being completely reasonable and people who expect you to pay for things that you are not going to use/have/eat are just trying it on and wanting you to subsidise them. It's not as if you have agreed to share everything and then you say afterwards that you didn't drink and you wouldn't be coming in the minibus - you have made it completely clear and asking you to subsidise is just not fair. Don't do it!!

expatinscotland · 28/01/2018 18:09

'I couldn't go in the end (had flu) so asked for what I could possibly have redunded given I wouldn't be eating/drinking. I'm pregnant and wouldn't be drinking anyway but they still used my money to put towards the booze and didn't refund me a bean for food/drinks because it had 'already been spent' angry '

If you pulled out at the last minute the accommodation still has to be paid.

I guess it's too late now, OP, but if you know it's going to be a piss up and you're pregnant, why agree to go in the first place? Can't be enjoyable to go on a pub crawl when you're sat there sipping Coke?

Laine21 · 28/01/2018 18:13

No to the bus, and no to alcohol, insist on taking your car.....that way if you have to, you can escape ;-)

MaggieFS · 28/01/2018 18:18

£150 on decorations Shock

Maireadplastic · 28/01/2018 18:19

I didn't go to my sister's or my sister-in-law's hen weekends (actually, my sister's was a hen week) as they were abroad and couldn't afford them at the time. One day I may come clean about this but I made other excuses at the time.

AyeAyeFishyPie · 28/01/2018 18:20

I think you need to share what mars bar cake is because I definitely need more info on that one!!!

DagenhamRoundhouse · 28/01/2018 18:22

I think hen and stag nights should be made illegal. They seem to cause nowt but grief.

ForalltheSaints · 28/01/2018 18:27

It may be using pregnancy as an excuse, but you might wish to consider not going.

Hen and stag weekends have come with higher and higher costs and greater expectations. So have marriage proposals, Valentine's 'weekend' celebrations and a number of other events.

expatinscotland · 28/01/2018 18:30

The newest trend is to have a wedding over several days, Forall, where you're expected to share a cottage with everyone. It's been on here and also on Sunday Brunch today, gal talking about how she's getting married 'from Monday to Wednesday' so everyone can use their annual leave time for that, too.

WTAF.

category12 · 28/01/2018 18:31

I think I'd help out with the cost of the minibus cos presumably those who've dropped out would have contributed to that too, and it was booked thinking you'd be using it too. But the alcohol contribution is a no.

Theresnonamesleft · 28/01/2018 18:46

Glad to hear the bride of mum is kicking the others into gear.

ForalltheSaints · 28/01/2018 18:58

The newest trend is to have a wedding over several days which does not need to be followed.

Original poster
Dawn1992 · 28/01/2018 19:02

@ayeayefishypie mars bar cake is rice krispies bound with melted mars bar with melted milk chocolate on the top so it goes hard. You need to try it

OP posts:
2ManyChoices · 28/01/2018 19:03

I have to say that my hen doo was 5 days in Kos, and all inclusive at that, first week of may and it cost £40 per person more than your weekend in a country house.
My BF organised it with my mum, there was no stress, we just picked up a cheap deal last minute. X

LeeRoar · 28/01/2018 20:01

You are correct to only pay for yourself as you won't be drinking, of course! However I would put a wee bit towards whatever the bride will be drinking as from most hen parties I've been to it's expected that the bride's costs are covered by the hens.

minnieminx85 · 28/01/2018 21:52

Perhaps offer to put a couple of quid in to cover the brides drinks and then just pay for food. Definitely don't pay for a bus you won't be going on. Tell them you will bring your own soft drinks.

Teacher22 · 28/01/2018 22:11

This ‘hen do’ business is getting out of hand. My dearest daughter has paid £300 for two days away with twenty other girls. None of them has paid their dues yet and I am guessing that there will be a serious shortfall when the bill is presented. The money aside, the idea of twenty pampered spoilt princesses all vying to outdo each other all weekend is horrendous. What happened to modesty, good nature and manners?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/01/2018 22:32

Hen dos are ridiculous, these huge two day events everyone now has to have. A night away, an activity, a show, a club night...OMG!!! How much can we celebrate a marriage before the bloody wedding, which oh will also cost you a night at the venue and a days annual leave as it was cheaper for us to get married on a Friday!
Arghhh!!!

Gide · 28/01/2018 22:52

Brides mum has just came to the group chat and said absolutely not. No one is paying for alcohol we bring our own if we're drinking and she wants it reduced to £10 per head for food to get an asda shop delivered for us arriving. She's not a happy bunny

Ha, she’s a legend!

ToftyAC · 29/01/2018 01:21

No
No no no NO!
They are taking the bloody piss and trying to make you lighten the load for the shortfall you’ve all been landed. Be clear that you will only contribute to things you’ll be using. If the others don’t like it then they can damn well cut their cloth! Cheeky sods!

Queeniebed · 29/01/2018 09:42

I would pull a pregnancy sickie and not go

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