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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be terrified I might have cancer?

328 replies

Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 07:54

I have 2 Breast lumps in the same area of my breast. I’m 29 years old (was 28 when I found both lumps.

The doctor examined and said she wasn’t concerned (didn’t feel like cancer to her). This was about 6 months ago and I’ve found it hard not to worry even though I was given some reassurance.

One of the lumps feels like it may have got bigger and now I’m terrified.

If I didn’t have my two girls (aged 1 & 4), I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. I’m too scared to make a dr’s appointment. I don’t want this to be cancer. I’ve read that cancer in young women is very aggressive. I want to be around to see my children grow old.

I’m on my own as my husband works away, I’m just so so scared.

OP posts:
insancerre · 27/01/2018 09:35

I used to be a forces wife
When I had a miscarriage the medical centre arranged for transport to hospital as well as for someone to look after ds who was 2
They also contacted dh who was in a military hospital miles away having an operation
There will be someone, the familia officer who will be able to help you
That's their job, they know partners are often away from family so they will provide it
You just need to ask them

PinkBlueYellow · 27/01/2018 09:36

OP I'm in Wiltshire. I will drive you to the hospital.

Please do get the ball rolling.

WizardOfToss · 27/01/2018 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alotalotalot · 27/01/2018 09:37

Take them with you if you have no other option or continue making excuses. Your choice.

Bythepath · 27/01/2018 09:38

I had a breast lump at 26 and another at 32, both times my GP was fairly sure there was nothing sinister but referred me to the breast clinic anyway. I was seen within 2 weeks and both times was treated kindly and professionally. I have 3 children and it was worrying but if there had been anything horrid discovered I would have known I got the help as soon as I possibly could. The first step is always the hardest but your anxiety won't go away so try really hard to make that appointment.

PinkBlueYellow · 27/01/2018 09:39

I'm also an ex military wife so I fully understand the bitching! Feel free to PM me if I can help.

I assume the nearest hospital would be Bath? Yes it's a nightmare to get to, especially if you don't drive.

namechangeforanonymity · 27/01/2018 09:41

If you are a military wife there will be a support system available to you.

At the very least a chaplain who you can see, offload your worries to and ask for assistance. They should be available today so you must get in touch without delay.

Military wives have official support available for a reason, unlike us wives of men who have to work away for long periods of time in the outside world.

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast · 27/01/2018 09:42

Op your making excuses or you are finding reasons to stop you going to see the gp.

Like i said we cannot just reassure you thst its nothing and all is well. You need to get a grip and listen. PPs on here are losing their patience, your not helping yourself.

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 09:42

My nearest hospital is Salisbury. Only 50 minutes in the car but a pain in the neck on the bus.

OP posts:
insancerre · 27/01/2018 09:43

Absolutely namechange,
The op has a better support system available to her than the rest of us

SwarmOfCats · 27/01/2018 09:43

I have lumpy boobs. On one occasion the GP was able to tell me it was just a fatty lump from feeling it (it’s still there, and it changes with my cycles). On two occasions I’ve been sent for an ultrasound on my breast (too young for mammogram), despite the GP being pretty confident it was just a ‘breast mouse’ (benign lump, can move around). It was exactly that, and they change with my hormones too. I have an anxiety disorder, so understand freaking out about things...but really, the ONLY way to calm down is to go back and get checked out again!

No excuses - just go back to your GP. If they say it’s nothing again, tell them it’s making you worry and ask if you can be scanned.

alotalotalot · 27/01/2018 09:44

If it takes you all day on the bus, even with the kids in tow, don't you feel that you should do it for peace of mind?

leghoul · 27/01/2018 09:44

You were examined and it felt benign. They cannot be absolutely sure but benign lumps DO tend to have a particular feel about them. Particularly in your age group the most likely is something cystic/hormonal or fibroadenomas. The only way to be sure is for scan and biopsy and another examination at the breast clinic but on the balance of probabilities there's nothing to worry about.
I would go back to your GP and say you wish to have the lumps assessed as they have not gone away. They should refer you to the breast clinic within 2 weeks. BUt it's most likely benign.

scaryteacher · 27/01/2018 09:47

Happyland Call SSAFA then, or if you're on a patch and there's a welfare officer, talk to them, that's what they are there for. Call your husband's COs wife, she would help. The RN wasn't so set up for it, but the Army seems to provide stacks of support for families. It's there, use it. You're a military wife, as was I and my Mum. You have to get on with it, you can't be a military wife and not have resilience, otherwise you'll sink.

If you dh was deployed, would you be dealing with this, or waiting til he was back? If you are worried about not worrying him, then get this sorted now, and he won't have to be worried when he's back.

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 09:47

Trust me. The support system is not what it once was. I had a meningitis scare with DD2 when she was only months old and I called my husbands welfare team as it was late at night and I couldn’t get to the hospital as no busses were running. I couldn’t get a hold of my friends as they weren’t answering their phones. The paramedics (who were at my house at the time) weren’t allowed to take her to the hospital - she was a little grumpy and was covered in a non blanching rash but wasn’t too unwell that it was a life or death emergency - but would not leave the house until they knew we had a mode of transport to have her seen at our of hours straight away. Turned out welfare turned me down and said, “it’s not our job to help with this sort of thing”.

No point in asking for help with this if they won’t even help a small baby.

OP posts:
Jaygee61 · 27/01/2018 09:48

It sounds to me as though the doctor thought they were cysts, which are not cancer. But you need your mind putting at rest, so I would go to the clinic if I were you.

JustVent · 27/01/2018 09:51

My nearest hospital is Salisbury. Only 50 minutes in the car but a pain in the neck on the bus

Cancer is more of a pain. There will be a lot more appointments if it is cancer.

Bus or don’t go. There’s no point posting here.

Snowysky20009 · 27/01/2018 09:52

Op PinkBlueYellow has offered to take you and she's in your area!

PinkBlueYellow · 27/01/2018 09:52

The military support system is not as wonderful as some might think.

I did use the station chaplain once when I was in a dire personal situation and he was absolutely wonderful to talk to but ultimately I still had to be the one to help myself....

OP my offer stands. I can drive you to Salisbury.

JustVent · 27/01/2018 09:53

A 3 second google showed two mobile screening places in Wiltshire here

NeverTwerkNaked · 27/01/2018 09:55

Op a taxi is affordable to the GP then (or you can do the walk, half hour is fine)

By the time any appointment came through it sounds like your DP will be back or you will have time to make a plan.

In the longer term, you must be very isolated and lonely? That sounds really tough. I think you and your DP need to think about how to get you a better support network. It’s not your fault you’ve ended up this stuck. But you do need to take steps to improve it before he goes away again

HanutaQueen · 27/01/2018 09:55

OP you're right, sometimes welfare aren't very useful and sometimes they are - no harm in asking. BUT: right now it's not the hospital you need to be dealing with it's the referral to the hospital. No point catastrophising about how you get to the hospital yet. Get that referral.

That will just be a phonecall or a trip to the GP, both of which you can manage.

You say you're not brave, nobody sets out to be brave, you just do what you have to do to get through the day then people look back and say 'ooh you're brave'. When you're a military wife you don't get a choice to be brave or not, when you've got kids you don't get a choice to be brave or not! You just do what you have to do and look back on it and go wow, we got through that. I know it's really hard but think of this thread as a big virtual hand hold and summon up the courage to just do it. I know you can.

(Military girlfriend, OH gives me a good kick up the arse when I am like you are now and sad to say he's right Grin)

alotalotalot · 27/01/2018 09:55

He'll be back probably before the hospital appointment anyway. You only have to get to the gp to begin with. I think we are banging our heads against a brick wall.

PollyPerky · 27/01/2018 09:58

You have no other hospital other than one 50 minutes away? Are you in the back of beyond? How does this work for A&E ?

SwarmOfCats · 27/01/2018 09:58

You don’t want to confide in your new friends...so don’t. Just say that you have a doctors appointment and ask if they could help out for a bit.

Your excuses are increasingly tenuous and frustrating. There is always a way around things. And there is literally NO reason why you can’t at least take the first step and call your GP.