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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be terrified I might have cancer?

328 replies

Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 07:54

I have 2 Breast lumps in the same area of my breast. I’m 29 years old (was 28 when I found both lumps.

The doctor examined and said she wasn’t concerned (didn’t feel like cancer to her). This was about 6 months ago and I’ve found it hard not to worry even though I was given some reassurance.

One of the lumps feels like it may have got bigger and now I’m terrified.

If I didn’t have my two girls (aged 1 & 4), I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. I’m too scared to make a dr’s appointment. I don’t want this to be cancer. I’ve read that cancer in young women is very aggressive. I want to be around to see my children grow old.

I’m on my own as my husband works away, I’m just so so scared.

OP posts:
insancerre · 27/01/2018 10:00

Pollyperky
I have a hospital about 5 miles away but they don't have a breast clinic there
It's about 45 miles away and takes ages to get there in heavy traffic

minmooch · 27/01/2018 10:02

There are so many of us who have to deal with things alone, seemingly impossible, and need to be brave. If we can do it so can you. Your opening op said you want to be here for your children. Well, be here for them - walk to the gp. Take the children with you, if you have no option. You can take them in to your appointment too. It's no excuse. Get seen, get a referral. Deal with this as a responsible parent.

Take the drama out of it, until you know that there is something to worry about. It's hopefully nothing in which case you have merely wasted anxious energy. If it's something that needs treating then time is of the essence.

Come on op - time to woman up.

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 10:02

I’m sorry that a lot of you have lost patience with me. I am very lonely right now, especially since I’m dealing with this and feel I have no one IRL to be there for me. I will call the GP on Monday and get an appointment booked.

PinkBlueYellow thank you so much for your offer. Once I get referred, I’ll see if my husband will be back in time to take me. If not, I’ll send you a message, if that’s okay?

Can I also add that I know my husbands welfare officer on a personal level and all he does is talk about all his welfare cases. I think he’s on some sort of power trip. He used to be my husbands boss but my husband is now the same rank as him, which he can’t stand. He’s not the sort of person I would ever feel I could confide in.

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 27/01/2018 10:05

Instead of thinking how scared you are now think how scared your kids will be if one day soon someone has to tell them they no longer have a mummy.

insancerre · 27/01/2018 10:06

Op, let us know how you get on on Monday when you make the appointment

PinkBlueYellow · 27/01/2018 10:06

Of course OP, please do let me know if I can help, or if you need someone to talk to.

Are you in Corsham by any chance?

Honeyishrunkthekids · 27/01/2018 10:07

Can you speak to the gp on the phone firstly? ( they triage at my surgery) this gives you the opportunity to tell the how anxious you are , also when you face to face you don’t have to explain quite so much if your nerves get the better of you.the thing is even if it is cancer that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not possible to have the lump removed Successfully .

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 10:11

I’ve just gone on maps to check how long to the hospital. It actually says 35 minutes but when I’ve gone in the past, its taken a lot longer. We’re in Tidworth. The hospital is Salisbury. Traffic can be a nightmare through the week. So grateful to PinkBlueYellow. I would hate to get the bus back after receiving possible bad news.

OP posts:
MrsMotherHen · 27/01/2018 10:14

Just get you and the kids dressed and get on the bus! Your making every excuse in the book so what if it takes all day just go!

PinkBlueYellow · 27/01/2018 10:15

Ah ok Tidworth, yes not far from me at all. I will wait to hear from you OP, if you need me.

You're absolutely doing the right thing getting checked out. It's so hard but now is the time to be strong Thanks

supersop60 · 27/01/2018 10:27

pinkblueyellow
Glad you are near to help. Flowers

alotalotalot · 27/01/2018 10:28

Well done op. I'm worried you may bottle out on Monday. Is the surgery open this morning. Please check.

WizardOfToss · 27/01/2018 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 10:29

Can you really not understand why I’m worried about getting such a long bus journey with 2 kids, one of whom is currently getting 6 teeth through at once and isn’t happy for more than 10 minutes at a time, place textually getting some not so good news and then having to do the journey back home on my own with a child who will be in an awful mood for being couped up in a pram all day. I’m not trying to make excuses here. I admit I’ve been in denial, I admit I’m finding it difficult to take the step I need to take & go to the doctors because I’m so stressed and alone, but I don’t think I’m making excuses.

OP posts:
Nquartz · 27/01/2018 10:30

So relieved you've decided to call the doctors on Monday.
Thinking of you Thanks

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 10:30

Place textually - *potentially

No idea how that happened!

OP posts:
laloup1 · 27/01/2018 10:37

Happy
I know how scary it is to find a lump. Me too - mine was fibrous in the end
Phone your GP on Monday and make an appointment. Tell the receptionist you are worried about a breast lump(s) that is growing. Practice saying the words out loud before you phone up.
The receptionist will no doubt try to squeeze you in as soon as possible.
Then see the doctor. Say the same thing.
Tell them how much you have worried since the doctor last said there was nothing to worry about. And the system will kick in.
Take charge of your situation and take action.
Remember to come back here and let us know how you go 💐

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/01/2018 10:45

@PinkBlueYellow, what a lovely person you are.💐

scaryteacher · 27/01/2018 10:47

Look OP if I could manage to give birth on my tod with dh somewhere under the ocean, and get my shit in one sock for transport when in labour (and I wasn't on a patch either), you can do this. I was in a different county to the hospital. My Mum and mil were 3.5 hours away. We have all been there.

If you don't want to talk to the welfare bod, then phone SSAFA for help.

Lots of us cope with stuff like this in foreign languages when we're posted abroad. You need to break this down into sections.
1: Get to the GP and insist on a referral
2: Wait for the referral to come through
3: Sort dh to drive you, or arrange transport for the day. Arrange childcare if necessary. Go to the referral.
4: Go for further testing if needed, and await results.
5: Deal with the results.

You are making excuses. Only you can get this sorted. We can all post sympathetic things to make you feel better, but you won't feel better until you sort this out, and only you can do that. The support system is there, db is in the RN, and it runs OK, so use it.

Go and talk to your husband's COs wife...she will help, just as I would had one of my husband's subordinates wives needed assistance.

alotalotalot · 27/01/2018 10:48

But it is an excuse because you need to do what you need to do, if you've got no choice. Nobody is saying it won't be difficult, but it is necessary. Anyway you are putting the horse before the cart. Your dp will probably be home for the hospital appointment. And if not you have the very kind offer of a lift.

Thanks and it probably will be fine. Wouldn't you rather take a nightmare journey with the kids than have this nightmare anxiety hanging over your head. It would be an easy choice for me. But obviously it is your choice.

mpsw · 27/01/2018 10:56

You say you're a military family.

Get on to either the welfare officer, or if you don"t want to go 'official' than SSAFA. They might be able to stump up taxi fare (make a countervailing donation when you can afford to repay) or find a volunteer to drive you and sit with your DC whilst you are in the actual consultation.

I know some branches are more approachable than others, but they're usually pretty good

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 11:24

Thanks. I’ll see how I get on on Monday and then once I get referred, I’ll contact SSAFA. If I have no luck with them and my husband isn’t back yet, I’ll contact PinkBlueYellow.

Thank you everyone. I’ll let you know how I get on.

OP posts:
MissDuke · 27/01/2018 11:35

OP you really need to learn to prioritise learning to drive. It sounds like you are incredibly vulnerable, moving around and not getting to know people, no support, dh away and unable to even find away to attend an important hospital appt. You need to learn to drive and you need to get out and about to local toddler groups etc to meet people. Obviously first though you need to face up to the lumps and get checked out.

Original poster
Happyland88 · 27/01/2018 11:40

I have an intensive driving course booked for May. I’m trying to make changes to make my life easier. I had a very difficult year last year and I know things need to change.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 27/01/2018 11:50

Ok you need to take life by the balls a bit here my lovely.

Get your GP appointment sorted out. It's HIGHLY unlikely to be cancer, if the doctor said it seemed glandular then it's most likely to be just that. Nevertheless it's affecting your world and that breaks my heart for you.

If you have bloods done and the GP thinks it's worth going to the hospital then get on that bus with your kids and go along - you won't get the results then and there anyway, unless they say find it's cyst limos for example - taking your children isn't ideal but it's your only choice

After that and you get the all clear (hopefully with your gp appointment) get yourself a car and pass that test, make some decent friends and start socialising ... good luck OP Smile

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