To ask about the advantages of private school?

[longestlurkerever]

This is probably going to come across badly, but I'm interested in hearing people's opinions. I went to a middle of the road state school and then Oxford. I came away with a first class law degree and a training contract at a magic circle law firm. Although I didn't especially enjoy secondary school, I suppose I've always thought that it did the trick and my dds wouldn't lose anything if they had the same education as me. Recently though I've been working through some stuff with the help of a leadership course at work and realise that, even once you bag the job, there are an awful lot of unwritten rules that I am not sure I am fully understand - how to network effectively, how to have authority in senior meetings and just generally how to go through life feeling assured and confident and have been wondering if this is what private schooling is really all about? I still am not sure I'd choose private school for my dds even if it is, and would have to make some tough decisions to afford it anyway, but I am interested in what the benefits are so I can weigh them up.

Thanks lipstick - I don't intend to. Just information-gathering is all.

Most people have recommended private school, but I'm still not persuaded it's right for us. Doesn't mean I haven't learned a lot and clarified some of my own thinking. That's what debate does, no? ;-)

You know your girls,their strengths,your finances. If private school stacks up or not
I’m that mn pariah group.FT wrk, kids In nursery Afterschool 5day week til 6
If I followed mn doctrine, I’d work PT, have a joint account,and cook a chicken that lasts 9days inc soup,risotto, sandwiches

its the cost of private school with no guarantee of results that shocks me!!

£12k a year for two kids for 28 years (7 years of prep, 7 years up to a level) - gross you'd have to ear about £650,000k to pay for that.

madness!!

Debate is great,yes I can chew the fat about pretty much everything
Of course you’re aware opinion isn’t fact,it’s anecdotal and value laden
You're v fortunate to have such a choice,and I hope it all pans out well whatever you chose

Mine have all gone through the private sector. Behaviour is the main driver for us, but there are so many other benefits.

What have the state schools we have used done well? Just for a bit of balance?

Some brilliant, inspiring teachers who go out of their way to make sure they "get" your child and are passionate about their subject

A supportive, respectful, fun atmosphere with strong, positive leadership

Lovely kids and families

Provide a really good education which is free at point of receipt

Get very bright, hardworking kids to wherever they want to go.

The best state primary we used was also the most socially diverse (numbers of kids on free school meals). It had really positive discipline, well behaved kids (mostly) and took dyslexic difficulties in their stride as th y were used to teaching a wide range. My DC, well behaved, enthusiastic but with poor spelling and times tables was no problem for them. The much posher village school had found it hard to differentiate and they were miserable.

It's horses for courses and all about the particular child and particular school.

Except for the budget cuts in state schools and th number of supply teachers, groan.

Of course I am aware. Values is my main stumbling block really. Even if you think your kids would benefit is it right to opt out of the system like that... Though I know many would argue the contrary because their values would put their children_s wellbeing above all, and it's hard to argue against that too. You're right that on any view I'm in a privileged position. I haven't done the maths but I almost certainly couldn't pay for school out of income. But the house is worth a reasonable amount so there are possibilities and even if I don't take them, that makes me very lucky, I don't take that for granted.

Send your children to the best school that you can, looking at all those that they can actually get to by themselves.

If you are a fancy lawyer, you will have more schools on your radar screen than those who went to regional universities gaining a second class degree.

Stop faux hand-wringing and don’t look at this thread as unbiased primary research.

We’ve paid for 5 DCs out of a fairly modest income. It all depends on your “values”.

ScottishProf because they bowl up in their leavers sweatshirts for starters I worked in two RG Universities. One was very aware that their student population was a third public school educated at the time, this was a few years ago. I was involved with the widening participation programme.

If you are a fancy lawyer, you will have more schools on your radar screen than those who went to regional universities gaining a second class degree

Plus I wrote too often for my liking I certainly didn't say all students,

We’ve paid for 5 DCs out of a fairly modest income. It all depends on your “values”

Sorry craftygin but that is laughable

My dd3s private school is 7k a term day, 11k boarding. To send 5 x there would have cost us a million pounds

I went to a lovely, small private boarding school (as a day pupil). Had a great experience. Equally, I went to a community college to finish my A levels, and that was fine too. Every school is different. I have 2 girls and if finances allow, I'd like them to be privately educated at GCSE/A/highest level, simply because of smaller class size and more individual attention. But there will be some private schools I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

Thanks for all those suggesting I don't take this as gospel! I wasn't actually planning to! Does no one actually have conversations about anything?

Having taught in both state and private schools for 20 years, I would have no hesitation in recommending a state school above private. The biggest difference I saw, was an absolute sense of entitlement in private schools. Below average kids getting inflated grades due to the immense amount of support and help from teachers on coursework. Spoon fed, I believe. The rudest and most demanding parents ever. Seeing in reality the idea that everything, including grades can be bought. Discipline is better and facilities too but you pay for that. If you can fins a good state school, that's best. And the private school I taught in is a well known and respected London one, the few working class kids there ( through social mobility ) were looked down on and spoken as 'common', staff expected to give up weekends and at the back and call of parents.

My schools were a bit more modest and we only had 2 years when they were all in the system at the same time.

But we have forgone a fancy house, fancy cars, and fancy holidays. Those are our values.

Yeah, user, But have you read the thread in staffroom from grumpy stateschool teachers. If their experience is true and widespread, I would run a mile from sending children to state schools when I have the resources to send them to independent schools. I appreciate that not everyone has the choice.

Below average kids getting inflated grades due to the immense amount of support and help from teachers on coursework

Yes. This actually happened to dd1. The teachers practically did her coursework for her. Interestingly the same school is about to slump in the results tables with the more linear exams

Yes I wasn't suggesting that anyone's values were wrong. I was just replying to lipstick to say of course I understood that everyone's opinion was value-laden. Ultimately I might not listen to any of the opinions on this thread because the choice I make will be based on something less rational.... But that doesn't mean I don't value the conversation

Hi I have one child at private school and one in an academy. My eldest went to a church primary and was home educated from 11. They are all different so we chose the school according to those differences. I love my daughters private school. It is small only 108 pupils aged from 4-16. The pastoral care is wonderful and they have an SEN teacher dedicated to sorting out any problems. My daughter has a few wealthy pupils but actually most of us pay monthly and are not rich. The advantages for me are that she has 8 pupils in her class and every teacher knows her very well. Because of this they know as soon as she starts to struggle with a subject and put more work in until she understands, they do a lot of extra curricular things drama, music, skiing, sport which she loves for example three plays in different theatres this term with workshops attached, skiing in italy, london trip and working at the foodbank. Small and safe suits her personality and she is thriving. Beautiful location and she assures me no bullying. They did have a child who caused trouble but she was asked to leave after all the interventions to help her failed. She is 13 and loves going to school which I never did so it is best for her. My advice is to see if the school suits the child.

"My schools were a bit more modest and we only had 2 years when they were all in the system at the same time.

But we have forgone a fancy house, fancy cars, and fancy holidays. Those are our values"

But you presumably have a house and car? And you've still spent upwards of 500k. That's not 'values'. That's privilege!

Totally depends on the school and the mix if students it draws and what you are looking to achieve overall. My kids are at private school for the access to extracurricular activities they could do on site. Classes are not always that much smaller than state. Kids can be at least equally obnoxious and you may find parents are not as engaged with their education as you'd assume. They can think they are paying for someone else to care/do it for them. We looked at both options but moving wasn't practical. You cannot generalise about schools and schooling though.