To not want cans of beer next to my Gran's grave?

[crazycatgal]

I went to visit my Gran's grave yesterday as I do quite regularly and noticed that someone had placed a couple of cans of beer on the next grave.

AIBU to feel a bit annoyed about this? I go and visit my Gran to think about her and place flowers on her grave and seeing cans of beer right next to her grave is a bit off putting. I'm also worried about them blowing onto her grave because it can get quite windy where she is buried.

I just want to see what other people think and if I'm being unreasonable.

Beer cans wouldn’t bother me, I’d hope someone would leave me a bottle of Baileys! I have no problem with what people put on graves (although a lot of it wouldn’t be my choice) but I do have an issue with wind chimes as they do interfere with other people. I hate them in a garden, let alone a peaceful place where people go to grieve.

MadMaryBoddington as sad as that sounds, that made me laugh! Sorry!

Op, can you not stand with your back to the offending grave, that way you won't have to look at the cans

God, what a horrible thread.

@insancerre Not really because it's directly next to the grave that i'm visiting.

@alittlebreed I didn't intend it to be, just wanted some opinions on how I was feeling. I apologise for anyone on the thread who has called grave ornaments tacky etc.

I've never done it personally. But he have heard about a tradition a friend of mine has, his best friend died in horrible circumstances when he was in his mid-20s. My friend and his friend lived quite a long way apart, but every year they would meet up on a certain date and go for a beer. So on the anniversary of this date my friend will travel to 100s miles to go to his friend's grave and will leave a can of beer and drink one himself - 'with' his friend as it were.

I know that the deceased had a wife, children, parents and siblings who visit the grave regularly and will clear away this can.

This man died over a decade ago now, but I don't think my friend will ever get over the loss and I think if this small, symbolic and essentially harmless act helps him to cope a bit better then he should carry on.

Count yourself lucky though OP, if a young traveller dies then often about twice a year they will have a proper full on party at the grave with a music sound system, dancing, drinking, everything.

The grave next to my grandmothers is the grave of a young man killed in Afghanistan. Often he is left a beer, I do not question it, he was taken far too young and in appalling circumstances. When I visit her grave I often say hello to him too.

People grieve and remember their loved ones in different ways and many graves nearby have various things on them whether it be battery candles or a cuddly toy. If I pop my clogs I would like to be left a nice glass of a quality Rhône red occasionally too 😀

I don't often say this, but YABU. it's nothing to do with you really what's on someone else's grave.

YANBU
My Dad's grave is next to one full of all manner of things. Scarves, trinkets, 'jug' mug (tit shaped mug) , artificial flowers galore, vases, football memorabilia, figurines of 'sexy' girls, beer bottles (empty with metal lid replaced- arranged with the other stuff) cuddly toys a plenty..
I feel that it's disrespectful to other families who visit loved ones nearby. I hate that my Dadis next to that.