Child maintenance

[ColourfulOrangex]

My sons dad currently owes over £2000 in arrears and should be paying £200 a month

Due to the arrears and the fact he still refuses to pay there has been a deduction from earnings in place for 3 months now, yet I have still not received a penny (it has been a collect and pay case from the beginning)

Am I being unreasonable in wondering what they are doing? I understand they obviously cannot pass any money on that they don't receive but shouldn't they be chasing it more than this??

I rung them today and they just said they will contact the employer, this is all fine except this is what they have done for the past few months and nothing has come of it...not really sure why I'm posting just venting I suppose but has anyone had any success with CMS with deduction from earnings?

@Enid interesting you say 'it's about effort, not luck', after going on at everyone who says a NRP should be going to more effort to ensure he financially provides for his DCs

When the CMS have carried a review and said this is what u need to be paying and the nrp finds a way to take it to the next level this is financially damaging - financially damaging to the mother that needs this money to contribute to the rent that needs to be paid to continue living in the fmh that the kids want to stay in and would give them stability until they finish their a levels. This is financial damage - visible consequences as a result of CMS not making use of the powers they have to stop the system being abused. My x told them he was paying me Cm that happened to be My salary from our company - I sent them the payslip - I no longer get the salary - this was deliberate attempt to defraud - why have they not done anything with this - one letter to him and it would be sorted - but maybe they don't want it sorted how many people are employed in this merrygoround -

Yes it is neglect donners and therefor abuse - deliberate and knowing abuse - my s gets the emails from me asking why he has stopped paying - he ignores - I need someone to take my case forward _ I am being emotionally and financially abused by my x, by the legal system, by my kids, by the government - they are paying me Pip on one hand for my depression and causing it on the other by the incompetence of CMS - I wrote to my mp couldn't help - I emailed the mp taking this to parliament not even an acknowledgement - I told CMS on the phone I felt suicidal - I am now putting this in the letter I am Hal way through writing - what do you have to do for someone to actually take notice and see that their systems are not working - how can they expect fathers to take responsibility when they can't even admit their own systems are a shambles and take responsibility.

The financial emotional damage - yet to come - my own MH bill who knows? My kids MH bill still to come - what about all the kids already suffering with MH and the fucking mothers having to deal with this shit - having to work all hours to pick up the pieces of the deadbeat dads - killing themselves to protect their kids - what's the toll on them - health wise - breast cancer - how many I've come across a few - anxiety, stress depression - probably most on these threads that's the emotional and financial cost - damage - abuse and I've been told I need to let it go- I fucking know this - how do I let it go - give up on my kids - give up on myself - won't be long before I have no choice

pasta how do you know hes not making effort?

the fucking mothers having to deal with this it's not always mothers though is it?

I'm not sure you can blame breast cancer on non payment of cms either.

Honestly for your own mental health I would try and let it go. It's not right that their dad doesn't have to pay, of course it's not but you're destroying yourself by going over and over it. By all means persue the cms but getting yourself in a state over it isn't going to help anyone.

Tell me how I pursue CMS this has been ongoing 18 months - month in month out I'm not blaming breast cancer on CMS - it's linked to stress - CMS are causing unnecessary stress - they have the powers -when do they use them - all you have to do is look on dads info and it's full of ways of not paying what you need to pay - yes I know just let go - let all the fuckers get away with it - if they beat you with a stick hard enough or long enough we will all go away -after all why should they have to deal with the hassle - they didn't father the kids

It's all a joke - on who though - us for believing a system is to protect us - get married - the law will protect you - stay at home look after your kids - yes the law will protect you - you've been married how long - yes the law will protect you - he has to pay he's the father - complete bollocks - nobody has protected me least of all the bloody laws!

And more to the point who has protected my bloody kids - their father sure as hell has t got their best interests at heart - emotionally financially in any way you want to look at it and if the law is not protecting the mothers then the law is not protecting the kids either - that is the fucking irony because how many times do you hear it is all about protecting the kids - not when there's money involved funnily enough - you can still have contact with an abusive father - in who's fucking mind is this good for the child - oh but no he doesn't pay sorry not our problem - but it's ok you have contact with him and let him abuse you instead - because that's in your best fucking interest

,

Look I know the cms are shit. I have enough experience with that myself but you're starting to sound hysterical. All you can do is call them. Put in a formal complaint. If you start blaming yoir health issues on them though and saying your suicidal I honestly don't think you'll get anywhere. They're not emotionally invested so you need to be emotionally turned off if you like when dealing with them.

If the children's father is actually abusing them then access should stop or at least be at a contact centre. It sounds like there are many more issues than just money here.

It's awful going through divorce etc and yes in a way I suppose women are led to believe that they're protected but I've seen the reality of this and been part of it and it's a reason why id never be a stay at home mum. I'm confident I could support my child alone if I had to - and no I shouldn't have to, nobody should. You cant rely on everything happening as it should.

Yes Enid - you know I don't give a shit if I sound hysterical - I've called them made a complaint blah blah fucking blah - I can't turn my emotions off - this is about my kids lives - I'm always too emotional but maybe it's us emotional ones that fight a cause - if I didn't give a shit I would have flounced long ago- maybe they need to hear the emotion maybe they need to realise how much impact they are having - maybe that's why THEY don't give a shit because they don't see that taking 18 months to deal with a case where they have all the info from day one is too fucking long because everyone just says yes ok I'll phone you next month.

Too old for contact centre - manipulation otherwise known as fucking with heads - don't think there's a tick list for this yet and women are led to believe.... and you can't rely on things happening as they should .

Well when I've paid good money to a solicitor who has told me they can do this that and the bloody other I think I can expect things to happen as they have said - otherwise I'm just being taken for a bloody ride -a very expensive ride - maybe that's the problem too many people saying oh never mind let it go and here comes the next sucker !!!

Thank you if anything my head now back where it needs to be keep bloody going - I am not a oh never mind - I do fucking mind!

I'm not telling you not to mind

They don't give a shit because they're paid to do a job - not get emotionally invested in your life.

greenberet I hear you. Wish I could help. It is basically a fact of the world that we live in that we don’t give two hoots about the women who are left dealing with this shit. If it were mainly men, it wouldn’t happen. They can deal with the non payment of council tax swiftly and with serious consequences so there is precedent. The fact is, they blame women for greed, for not making better choices, for having more than one child with the loser, for marrying quickly, for not being educated, for taking time out of work, for not taking time out of work, for being low earners, for being high earners, for managing, for not managing.....

All I can say is 10 years on, my CSA case was closed 18 months ago. I still haven’t gotten round to opening a new case with the CMS. Not a penny paid in between times. Somewhere along the lines I stopped giving a shit. We manage. It helps that my eldest is now old enough to get it and he really does get it.

No one understands the stress. No one understands the constant ‘what if’ when you have to take a day off for the kids being ill, or the what if to aches and pains, or the inability to switch off and the lying awake till 2am. The mental exhaustion is horrific. But somehow, with time, it has gotten easier to live with. Hang on in there xxxx

I don't think it's classed as abuse unfortunately.

@Enid don't know or care how much effort he has put in already. He just has to put in more if he has enough time to be seeing his DCs but won't due to work but he's not working when he could be seeing his DCs. He is lucky, and so are other DPs who contribute barely anything at all, that he can get away with it - RP simply has no choice not to feed and support the DCs, and plenty of people seem to give unsupportive DPs the benefit of the doubt so they can get away with it.

And @Enid that is the last response you're getting from me as you have been a dog with a bone to anyone who you disagree with, posting your PA upthread and trying to wear everyone else down. You do not come across as objective like you think you do and frankly you're irritating to engage with.

Ok well at least I'm not personally attaching people. We are allowed to have differing opinions you know.

*attacking

My son's father was supposed to be paying me 100 per week according to cms it should be around the 240 mark sometimes I get fifty this year he has excelled himself and given me nothing apart from fifty quid he begrudgingly gave me this has been going on since before Christmas he told me the other day he was getting a new work van costing over 1600 pounds I nodded and smiled inside I was seething I've taken on a second job so has my partner and he is getting himself a van he has literally just got a new car bloody bloody BASTARD

breathes<

I actually feel better after that rant

I'm not asking them to be emotionally invested in my life and frankly I can't see that they are doing a job - I've just been reading some back history - ohreally you must be one of the poor fuckers going back to 2011 I've just been reading about on MN campaigns - I can't even get really angry about this and I should your right no one gives a shit but I can guarantee if I stopped paying my council tax using all the fucking excuses in the book they wouldn't spend 18 months doing nothing maybe I should say go & speak with your other department they know all about it - yes I'm dealing with it call back next month it should all be sorted thank you ohreally for getting it x

Haven't rtft but wanted to advise that 3 months is still early days in terms of deduction of earnings order.

Employers are contacted to advise what to take, then they have to set this up and implement it. This can have quite a delay if the payroll cut off date has just been missed. Then the employer are given until the end of the following month to send in a deduction. So any money deducted from January wage isn't due in until the end of Feb. Then it needs to be processed and sent to you.

Once this process has started you should get payments at the same time each month however.

For driving licence etc to be taken away the case needs to go to court, this is a lengthy process and would only succeed if no money had been paid in a long time. If a deduction from wages is in place it won't go to court, not at this stage anyway.