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Original poster

Child maintenance

167 replies

ColourfulOrangex · 25/01/2018 19:49

My sons dad currently owes over £2000 in arrears and should be paying £200 a month

Due to the arrears and the fact he still refuses to pay there has been a deduction from earnings in place for 3 months now, yet I have still not received a penny (it has been a collect and pay case from the beginning)

Am I being unreasonable in wondering what they are doing? I understand they obviously cannot pass any money on that they don't receive but shouldn't they be chasing it more than this??

I rung them today and they just said they will contact the employer, this is all fine except this is what they have done for the past few months and nothing has come of it...not really sure why I'm posting just venting I suppose but has anyone had any success with CMS with deduction from earnings?

OP posts:
donners312 · 27/01/2018 20:22

I was knocked sick on Friday when I heard from the CMS that my Ex s now claiming financial responsibility for his 'step daughter". He lives in London in a bedsit and she goes to school up North?

He doesn't even accept responsibility for his own kids!

And yet why do i feel he will get away with it and pay a reduced amount? I know a few other kids he could claim for actually one in Nottingham, One in Scotland etc Anyway it will take 12 weeks for them to process the change in circumstances so job done and his arrears can just accumulate until he loses his job again.

JMKid · 27/01/2018 20:25

It took the CMS 7 months to set up a deduction of earnings. They are fucking useless. I ended up making an official complaint. He left the job after 2 months. Now £4000 in arrears, with no sign of it every being paid off. Keep on at them every single day. Complain in writing and contact local MP

donners312 · 27/01/2018 20:29

apparently most NRP leave their place of work after 1 deduction of earnings has been actioned.

the system stinks it is letting these twats away with it.

£4K of arrears you should be able to go and get from court like any other debt or he has the bailiffs at the door? why not CM?

ThisLittleKitty · 27/01/2018 20:31

'women often don't let men have kids more often' - I know, single Mums love to have no social life and look after their kids 100% of the time. Honestly these dead beat dads are banging a path to our door desperate to spend more time with their kids!! They actually can't do enough!!

This made me laugh so much. As I have begged my ex to have the kids. He refuses.

lalalalyra · 27/01/2018 20:32

@ColourfulOrangex It's ridiculous that they don't.

It's always been the same. We were taken by my grandparents when I was 7. My father was due to pay maintenance from when I was 10/11 (he was a non-working drug addict before that). When he died my sibling, who'd made contact with him and was dealing with his affairs, had to deal with a debt to the CSA/Secretary of State for a time when he didn't pay, but should have. I'm the youngest child and I'm in my 30s - the man had lived in the same house for more than 20 years...

I know someone who changes job to job to avoid paying. They can do this because they were left a lot of money by their late parent. They have a fortune in the bank (they are related so I know the exact sums they inherited). CMS/CSA could take the money they owe from their bank account, but they won't. They've also decided not to go after their driving license because it may "impact their ability to work". It's more likely to impact their social life so even the threat of it would probably work. They only don't pay as a way of controlling their kids (if you won't see me completely on my terms I won't pay anything).

Enidthecat · 27/01/2018 20:39

Some of the comments on this thread are revolting.

Saying someone should do better for their child. Ah yes, because it's so so easy to just go out and get a better job isn't it.

JMKid · 27/01/2018 20:41

Oh and I had the same computer problem and another poster. still not sorted out 2 weeks later. they fob you off. Mine quit his job due to DoE, signed onto benefits again, even though running his own business, which I have given proof of. Then signed off 2 months ago. He ignores all letters/calls from them. They should take away their driving licenses, passports, or extreme ones put them in prison. America as it right for once.

donners312 · 27/01/2018 21:30

Enidthecat - yes it is a lot easier to go out and get another better paying job when you don't have children to look after 100% of the time I know that!

But I know it is not the NRP non paying deadbeats fault. After all they love their children so much and infuse they are often their No 1 priority (falls about laughing!)

donners312 · 27/01/2018 21:31

infact not infuse

Enidthecat · 27/01/2018 21:35

Oh give over. If everyone could walk into a convenient job, good hours, good pay etc it would be great. It doesnt happen. It isn't realistic.

donners312 · 27/01/2018 22:03

Funny how the single Mums who HAVE to support their children manage to find jobs that work and yet deadbeat dads can only find jobs that pay £11 PW etc

I am not commenting on your individual case - I don't know you or your circumstances and maybe you are doing your best.

stitchglitched · 27/01/2018 22:22

Really Enid? There are posts on here from posters bemoaning their partner having to pay £11 for their kid, posts where NRPs have quit jobs, abandoned their children, RPs struggling to get a basic contribution. But the thing on this thread that revolted you was someone saying that NRPs who don't pay or are forced by wage deduction to pay a pittance should try harder?

Original poster
ColourfulOrangex · 27/01/2018 23:15

My sons 'D'F last year told me he would sign over all rights to my son if I cancelled the CMS case unfortunately you can't sign over children here or I would've agreed on the spot

some NRP are good and provide however they can, others however are not and try everything they can to not have to pay, previous posters are definitely right by saying America has he right idea

OP posts:
donners312 · 28/01/2018 08:05

Colorful - Is that right that they can't sign away parental rights I have often thought about asking Ex but know he wouldn't agree.

Enidthecat · 28/01/2018 08:48

donners so all single mum's have good jobs? Right. I'm glad you're not commenting on my individual case because I'm not the one who pays maintenance anyway so your assumptions wpild be well out. Maybe I should remind dps ex that she should be trying harder for her child because she doesn't have a good enough job.

stitch well it's all relative isn't it. The poster said £11 out of £30 wage. Over a third. Doesnt leave a person much to live on does it? He still gave that £11 To his children so not entirely sure why that's bad?

Being told people should try harder was a stupid comment really. You have no idea how hard people are trying. Maybe that shit job was the only one that person could get. What should they do?

Quitting jobs to get out of paying for your children is also shit but that's not what someone was being attacked over, was it?

FitBitFanClub · 28/01/2018 09:14

I don't think he "gave" the £11 out of he goodness of his heart, or even out of moral duty. It was forcibly extracted from him, by the CMA.

Enidthecat · 28/01/2018 09:16

It still went to his child?

Again, please tell me what he should do to get this illusive brilliant job?

FitBitFanClub · 28/01/2018 09:27

Don't think anyone has said he should get a "brilliant" job. But £70 a month does sound woefully low. I'm another one whose dd works a zero hours contract in the village pub and earns hundreds a month.

abbsisspartacus · 28/01/2018 09:29

He can look for one Enid sell Avon betterware anything but sit and moan about it I mean how has it got to this situation? Is the Child new born? Or has it been going on for awhile? I have three kid's I work full time my ex has four kids (one with me three with his now wife) he doesn't work but it's still my fault he hasn't seen her in almost 14 years he has paid less than 200 in that time but if you ask them they paid thousands and are desperate to have a relationship with her it should be illegal

Enidthecat · 28/01/2018 09:36

We dont get much more than that from dps ex. Should I start signing ex up for job search websites? Should i advise her which college course she might like to partake in so she may be able to get a better job one day, Or do I just accept that someone has to do this shit low paying jobs? (and yeah probably mostly their own fault but wtf can you realistically do)

Enidthecat · 28/01/2018 09:37

I doubt any profit from betterware is going to cut it with this crowd. Obviously nrps should be paying thousands because that's what it takes to raise a child

(Does it?)

stitchglitched · 28/01/2018 09:38

People know how hard it is to find jobs. But from other threads that particular man has had a new child with the poster on here who was defending him whilst not providing for his other kid. £11 pound out of £30 is a large portion, yes, but many RPs spend more than that proportion of their income on their children all the time and they don't have to be forced to do so. It is the idea that NRPs shouldn't be made financially uncomfortable in order to provide for their children that doesn't sit well with me. Why shouldn't they?

sixteenapples · 28/01/2018 09:38

I am a single RP and would love my ex to have kids, - even now they are teens - but he has a one bed flat so they prefer not to go and he generally prefers that they don't go.

Of course many men won't have their kids and many single mothers would like to get a break but there are numerous threads on here about mothers who don't want children to stay overnight or who reduce contact for good reasons or bad.

(The journey, the new girlfriend, the disruption, the difference in ground-rules over screens/bedtimes/homework etc - and for non-payment of maintenance)

Enidthecat · 28/01/2018 09:41

Nobody should be made "financially uncomfortable" you'll be wanting to bring bark the work house next

People get into shit circumstances are divorce it is really not hard to imagine why. When you've essentially lost everything (as many men do) it's not the easiest thing to get back on your feet pay for somewhere to live and to be paying maintenance.

It's worth noting that many rps will get tax credits and cb but the nrp gets no help np matter how often they have the child.

donners312 · 28/01/2018 09:42

Enid - exactly it is mostly their own fault and like you say what realistically can you do?

I;m not saying every single Mother is doing a brilliant job and I'm not saying every NRP is a waste of skin.

But where the Single parent is financially responsible for the Dc as well as doing all or most of the childcare then it is wrong that more cannot be done legally to correct that.

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