Child maintenance

[ColourfulOrangex]

My sons dad currently owes over £2000 in arrears and should be paying £200 a month

Due to the arrears and the fact he still refuses to pay there has been a deduction from earnings in place for 3 months now, yet I have still not received a penny (it has been a collect and pay case from the beginning)

Am I being unreasonable in wondering what they are doing? I understand they obviously cannot pass any money on that they don't receive but shouldn't they be chasing it more than this??

I rung them today and they just said they will contact the employer, this is all fine except this is what they have done for the past few months and nothing has come of it...not really sure why I'm posting just venting I suppose but has anyone had any success with CMS with deduction from earnings?

Oh stitch you must be right as usual. Forgot nobody else must be allowed an opinion. You must be perfect.

In this particular case the woman apparently earns ok so presumably the child is fine

Presumably. You can’t know. My children are fine. I earn enough to cover their costs. I don’t earn enough to do cover their costs and maintain the house appropriately and build a savings pot and build a pension. So the house is falling down round our ears and I have no provision for the future but if you look at us, on the face of it, my ex doesn’t need to contribute because the children have what they need. Job done.

Not very fair, though, is it? I didn’t have 3 children on my own so why is it my sole job to support them?

And I lost my home in the divorce, lost my credit rating, ex cleared the bank accounts on his way out, walked away from all joint debts etc, etc. I hardly live a charmed life. And I have to share the care of my children with a man who feels it appropriate to screw me over financially and who regularly fucks up their heads with ever-changing partners.

All that said, I do feel for lower earning NRPs because they lose a portion of their income and don’t qualify for the benefits that low earning PWC are entitled to to help,support children. It isn’t easy. Paying £11 is a piss-take though.

I'm not sure I ever said its anyone's sole job to support anyone. Nrps should support their children, but if they have a crap job they can't easily change just because the other feels they deserve more.

I'm fairly sure my dp doesn't like sharing his child with his mother either but he does because he won't be the one to stop their relationship. she will do that herself I'm sure

If you think £11 is a sufficient weekly/monthly contribution to bringing up a child then yes, you have said it’s a PWC’s job to solely support children. £11 is an insulting amount to all concerned.

Please tell me where I said it's sufficient. I said it's all he can do right this minute and he probably can't pull tenners out his arse.

I know how much it costs to bring up a child. I've got two.

I know someone who stopped overnights to her ex husband citing a load of crap. Within one week he had a letter from cms saying now that your overnights have stopped your payments have gone up to ££
She stopped overnights for the money pure and simple.
I'm on the other side of the fence. No maintenance from my ex and he can see them whenever he wants. Which is never.
Not all absent fathers are arseholes. Some are.

I made my first claim in July with cms after my sons father decided to go on holiday rather than pay maintenance. He owes me 2000 from a family arrangement that the boys will never see, and a further 1000 via via. I'm still waiting for a payment. He has seen them once in that time. His partner won't allow the children at the house. He hasn't had them once overnight in over 2 years and it fucking infuriates me that I am meant to say yes when he decides he wants to see them again. I phone cms regularly and just seem to get the same answer. They have processes to follow, It takes time etc. I give up!

I think they just fob us off, as a previous poster said they have he power to remove driving licenses and property etc but don't, it's terrible really but the NRP should want to do whatever they can to help support their children unfortunately as this post has made aware a lot of people are going without

Shouldn't be judgmental of deadbeat Dads - isn't that the problem?

Not professional for the human resources person to judge an applicant with an AOE (I bloody love you for asking this!)

Seriously you don't think companies want to employ people with morals, a sense of responsibility etc. That companies want to employ any old rubbish. I wish more companies did this and that it did reflect on more people and affected their ability to get a job. Perhaps they might start behaving a bit more decently towards their children if more people applied these standards.

And just cracks me up the defense of the deadbeat and how they are doing their best.

Shall i just do my best and if that means I can't feed the children well at least I tried. Sigh!!!

get off your high horse donners A lot of people do get in that situation. Why don't you go tell them how shit they Are?

Enid - into what situation? Not paying for their DC and getting an AEO?

Yes they get into it when they don't pay the MINIMUM CM?

Why are you defending that?

And i'll stay on my high horse and you can stay down there.

Actually sorry Enid.

I can't even be bothered to argue with you. I wish you luck in your situation whatever it is.

Erm no was referring to you saying trying your best and not being able to feed the children. Like I say people do get in that situation so why don't you go tell them how shit they are too? Bet you'd find one or two threads on it, in fact.

I'm not defending people who purposely avoid paying. I've not once said that. I'm defending people who are trying and are paying but getting the shit ripped out of them for it not being "enough". I mean, What is "enough"?

Your post wasn't even referring to child maintenance that time and neither was mine.

Don't say im "down there" when for one I'm not half as nasty or as judgemental as you without knowing people's circumstances and two, i am one of the people receiving a fairly shit sum each week and yet here I am defending people who happen to get into financial trouble. Like many people do.

donners i dont need luck, thank you. It's about effort, not luck.

I really wish MN would use their status to tackle the government on this issue.

They have a voice and they need to put it to use on issues exactly like this!!

@Forgotwhat - seems our x' s are one and the same -always has latest Apple gadget even showed Ds this just as spoken to school about Ds drug use & Ds petrified he was going to get kicked out - my x stopped paying cm as kids just spent a week with him - they don't fucking get it - it's not just the food on the plate - my kids are soon to be 17-they are well and truly fucked up by the last four years of acrimonious divorce - courts say protect the kids - well fuck me they and the legal professionals have done the most damage - blow 1 sell fmh - blow 2 ignore mothers depression age and long term marriage and get her back to work - blow 3 let x off his lavish spending on holidays meals anything he wants to eat into equity for mother to buy house in same area where she currently lives - give x a chunk of equity so the poor bugger who's business is gone down the swamy can rehouse himself and doesn't have to continue renting. Well somehow the poor buggers business has picked up because he moved offices has taken on two new staff bought a house, booked the summer family ho,I Day and is off somewhere this week - destiny TBA - oh but I cannot afford school fees anymore - let the fucking mother pay and squeeze her housing fund a bit more -either that or let the Ds go to local college and top himself due to his fear of change - yes my kids have adapted pretty well..

Reading the nick knowles nonsense How do we get these buggers to pay - someone mentioned small claims court - also what are the ramifications of name & shame - seems you can do it for celebrities what about us mere plebs - and yes to MN -what weight have you got - your boards are full of desperate mothers being screwed over left right and centre - without these women posting here MN would not exist - what are you able to do to help us -also those that have given up - I'm sure this is what they love - makes their figures better

And whilst I'm here can I ask you sign this potion regardless of whether your circumstances fit - because a way into CMS hopefully will benefit all - I fluctuate between wanting to fuck right off because I've had enough and keep going a bit more because if we all give up - how do things change - we are suffering, sucking it up whatever and so are our kids - this is not right!

Petition

@ ColourfulOrangex how can the courts say financial support is nothing to do with them - complete madness!

I was told by my solicitor that courts won't even discuss arrears or payments at all. Was told to not mention it as it's 2 separate issues which they arnt.

Contact and maintenance are two seperate issues. You don't pay to see your child or pay in lieu of seeing them.

There should be a way of claiming it similar to small claims court but it would still be seperate to access issues.

I know it is two separate issues but why - they should carry equal weight - if it is emotionally damaging for a child not to see other parent why is it not financially damaging to that child when a government ordered amount can so easily be taken advantage of. This does not make sense and it is more nonsense doled out by who? Not the people having to deal Day in day out with the fallout from rulings that seem plucked out the air - no consistancy - no correlation just a fucking farce for all those having to play these games - because we stupidly think these systems are there to help us.

And just to forget - my x pays the kids fucking phone contracts - both have latest iPhones - no doubt he pays more for these than he does for me to feed them a but the reason for this - control - he knows where there are what they are doing and more to the point can read the conversations I have with them on chat -one day I will be able to prove this

"Financially damaging" ?

There's no set limit that any parent has to pay towards their child so it can't ever work. One woman's "wow look at how much maintenance I'm getting" is another ones "What a pittance"

It's a seperate issue.

Evading paying CM speaks volumes about how much a parent cares for their child. And it is neglect.

How can a parent who neglects their child possibly be a good influence in their life I don't understand that?

I also don't understand why you can't take them to court for the debt - it is money they have earnt and just not given their children and should be treated like any other debt at least!!

Completely agree @donners312

@JMKid yep my solicitor said the same and the courts also said maintenance is not something they deal with, it's ridiculous