Child maintenance

[ColourfulOrangex]

My sons dad currently owes over £2000 in arrears and should be paying £200 a month

Due to the arrears and the fact he still refuses to pay there has been a deduction from earnings in place for 3 months now, yet I have still not received a penny (it has been a collect and pay case from the beginning)

Am I being unreasonable in wondering what they are doing? I understand they obviously cannot pass any money on that they don't receive but shouldn't they be chasing it more than this??

I rung them today and they just said they will contact the employer, this is all fine except this is what they have done for the past few months and nothing has come of it...not really sure why I'm posting just venting I suppose but has anyone had any success with CMS with deduction from earnings?

Really? Many parents are financially 'uncomfortable' in making sure their children have what they need, I don't see why NRPs should be any different.

How uncomfortable woild you like them to Be? Sofa surfing? On the streets?

Relying on their partner so much that it's impacting on their children? Sounds like you just want to see nrps suffer as obviously it must be their fault the relationship didn't work out and they must be shit parents because they don't have residency.

I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. But I don't see why, when most parents make sacrifices to ensure that their kids don't go without, NRPs should be exempt from that. I don't think it's okay for them to take active steps to reduce their liability to their kids, or lifestyle choices that result in a pittance, if any, support.

But Enid if he's only earning £30 a month then that's only 4 hours in a month. Something is wrong there imo, if I was only working 4 hours a month especially without children to look after I'd be looking to improve my work. Fair enough it's not easy but I don't know anyone who works that little in a month on a zero hour contract.

@donners312

The only way a parent can sign over their rights to a child is if someone else is willing to take that child on but it would be classed as an adoption if that makes sense? My sons father wouldn't agree to that so he had to keep his rights, I just feel bad knowing he willingly wanted to sign him over because of money :(

There are options if your not responsible for a child day in day out you can take in more than one job you can work antisocial hours I could have been working ages ago to support my kids except I couldn't BECAUSE I had the kids iyswim I'm fortunate to find a job which is Monday to Friday it would be better if I didn't have to commute but I took it and I'm going to do my best to hang on to it because I can make it work for my family nothing is perfect nothing is free

stitch i think a lot of nrps make a massive sacrifice in moving out of their home and not getting to see their children every day, don't you? They have to run a home in which their children can visit have a bedroom, their own things, feed them etc. That's not free either.

The NRPs who have regular contact, provide a bedroom and continue to provide for their children without viewing that provision as optional aren't likely to be the ones who should be trying harder so not really relevant. It's the example of the man on this thread, working minimally, not having overnights, complaining about paying a £11 and having another baby that posters think aren't doing enough, and others like him. The kind of NRP who knows that the RP will fill in the gap they are leaving and so don't see either caring or financially providing for the child as their responsibility.

Right and presumably as you know so much you must have met this man?

You're so judgemental it's untrue. Maybe this man is at rock bottom ffs. Everyone deserves to be cut some slack at some point.

Do you really think he wants to be in this position? From the posts from his dp I doubt it.

I know what his partner has told us on this thread! Her defence of him makes him sound like a deadbeat.

Or maybe shes defending him against a lot of nasty judgemental comments because hes doing his best and clearly fucking struggling?

Oh give over. This thread is about the massive problem in our society of NRPs, overwhelmingly fathers, refusing to support their children and a system that is inadequate at dealing with it. But the cause you have decided to take up isn't the women and children left in poverty but the sad tale of a man who complains about giving his child £11.

In this particular case the woman apparently earns ok so presumably the child is fine. Dad is contributing what he can.

We get £25 a week do you feel sorry for us? I imagine not.

Enid - while the £108 a month you get is not a huge amount towards raising a child, it is still nearly £100 more than the NRP you are defending on this thread.

I understand the nature of zero hours contracts but earning £30 a month cannot surely be true... otherwise I would say the PP's DP cannot be classed as doing their best for anyone with those earnings - it's woeful.

BakerBear I always ask interviewees if they have a AOE on their current salary as it gives me an idea of what type of person they are if they have.

So you discriminate when interviewing potential employees because of their private life? Very professional

I dont think she ever said it was £30 for the month. I dont think she mentioned the period that was for so i have no idea.

She also said there were arrears and that might be why they were taking 'so much.' So he has arrears from where he hasn't been paying, which are probably included in that paltry amount. Not sure why anyone would want to defend him.

Fine stitched from the very little info we have, he must be a total bastard who hates his kids and poor mummy must pick up all the slack.

Well yes, by that poster's own account the child's mother is picking up all the slack.

stitch your attitude is very judgemental let's hope you never find yourself in a difficult position, eh.

I have been in difficult positions. Still happy to be judgemental about a parent who doesn't provide in terms of either childcare or finances to his existing children and yet produces another child, and complains about being forced to make such a minimal contribution which includes arrears. Also happy to judge someone who takes up the cause of defending deadbeat parents rather than the children they neglect.

How exactly is the child being neglected? I doubt this man can just pull tenners out his arse. The poster said he couldn't provide childcare because he was only allowed to see the child on mum's terms so how is that his fault? That's her neglecting to realise a child needs a relationship with its father.

Judge me all you want but I've parented someone else's child long enough to know what parental neglect really is (clue: nothing to do with cash)

No overnights because they don't want to 'disrupt' his routine. Sometimes can't see him because he is working, the same job that can interrupt his contact apparently isn't enough to earn more than £30 though. In arrears with support but will have a new baby with new partner. It's fine though because the mother earns a decent wage. Good job, because if her contribution to the child's life matched his father's the child would be screwed. If you genuinely believe that describes a parent doing the best he can for his child then there is really nothing more to argue about because I am never going to agree that it is even adequate parenting.