Having come backs ready for family insults

[Ihatemarmite123]

To have some come backs ready for in laws insults.

So my in laws reguly insult me when pregnant. They did through my last pregnancy and I never said a word back. I'm 15 weeks now and we haven't told them but will soon.

Has anyone actually had a positive outcome when responding to an insult from family or has it just made things worse?

It's mostly fat jokes. I'm not fat at All, I'm only a 10/12 and 8 1/2stone 5ft4. MIL is huge and often slates people's appearance.... I think it's because she is uncomfortable with her own size. She's 6ft size 18/20

Say nothing. Leave. Don't go back.

I'm pregnant, what's your excuse

I doubt it will achieve anything positive, and could end up with an argument. But then again, just letting them get away with it can make you feel like crap. Maybe just have them in your head rather than say it out loud?

Them: You're the size of a bus!
You (silently, maybe): That makes you a whole bus depot.

Them: Can you fit through that doorway?
You: Easier than you can.

Them: Have you got a football team in there?
You: No, that would be you.

In fact, given your OP, "that would be you" sounds like it would work for most things they might say.

If you want something more positive, you could have "it's all part of the miracle of birth/the circle of life" as your go-to line, but it could sound a bit barf-worthy.

NC - I did this with a nasty family member when I was pregnant - had lots of requests to go C, even an offer to throw money at me lol - best fun ive ever had

Well you're looking fat
You: Haha - pot - kettle!
You: I've still a way to go to get to your size though eh?
You: I like my body, and your son seems to enjoy it a lot, too

How about your DP/H calls them on their rudeness or you refuse to see them?

Haha some good ones.

They would be so shocked if I spoke back to them!

Them - you are getting big / fat

You - yes I am and have months to go - none of my clothes fit anymore - will have to start borrowing yours (smiling sweetly)

You - well maybe your son needs to stop getting me pregnant

Don't engage with it - and if possible go NC. Enjoy your pregnancy!

We didn't tell MIL I was pregnant until 6 weeks before my due date because I assumed she would make cracks. Again, I'm normal sized (5ft 8in and a size 12) and my bump was very neat and up front.

Later MIL saw a picture taken of me going into hospital (obligatory hospital steps photo) that was mixed in with the baby photos and unleashed her venom.

I haven't spoken to her since so that worked out well for her!

Them: You're the size of a bus then!
You: What, the same one that hit you full in the face?

Why don't you tell her that it's not very kind and if she treats you like this, she should not plan to see the gcs. If you don't stop her she'll treat your kids like this too, you know. Well she'll do it when your not around.

Whatdoes your dh do? Does he know how you feel?

Them: "You're so fat"

You (to MIL): "So are you. Didn't know you could get pregnant at your age" (to FIL) "And I didn't know men could pregnant at all"

Some of these are so funny.

I'm currently nc but will given them another go, maybe I'll make it clear it's their last chance.

I wouldn't bother with snappy retorts, I'd ask them every single time why they like to be cruel about your appearance. It upsets you, don't make light of it or stoop to their level.

And yes, why isn't your husband giving them hell about this? I'd be furious if my parents took the piss out of my husband.

Are you being this rude to me on purpose or by accident?

I use the classic MN response - “do you mean to be so rude?”

@littlefff. No worries there, they will never have our child without us present at all times

I might be fat now but you will always be ugly

I was just thinking this today. My DH's sister is "practically perfect in every way" (has a lot of money, kids in Russell Group unis, large, beautifully decorated and immaculate house, etc.). She likes to have a go at DH every so often about the "clutter" in our house.

Her one "lapse" is that she is very, very heavy. While I'm not exactly svelte myself (and would never otherwise compare myself to anyone's size), the fact is I am much smaller than she is. The next time I hear her tell DH "I don't know how you can manage in all this clutter" I fantasise about smiling cheerfully and saying "Ah but SIL, I only live like this to give you something to feel superior about ..."

Queeniebed what does "to go C" mean please?

I don’t understand why you’d even be insulted at a comment about being “fat” in pregnancy when you’re not fat.
If she says “you’re piling it on” just smile and say “yup, growing a nice healthy baby in here” :)

MIL - normal fat jokes

You - so you are so old that If I slapped you on the back your boobs would fall off!

mommybunny "I don't need the space to move around unlike you..."

Don't joke back. Snarl and say "how dare you speak to me like that."

It may cause ww3 but this toxic set up needs a bomb thrown in the middle of it.