Having come backs ready for family insults

[Ihatemarmite123]

To have some come backs ready for in laws insults.

So my in laws reguly insult me when pregnant. They did through my last pregnancy and I never said a word back. I'm 15 weeks now and we haven't told them but will soon.

Has anyone actually had a positive outcome when responding to an insult from family or has it just made things worse?

It's mostly fat jokes. I'm not fat at All, I'm only a 10/12 and 8 1/2stone 5ft4. MIL is huge and often slates people's appearance.... I think it's because she is uncomfortable with her own size. She's 6ft size 18/20

MN Classic: 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

'You did? Oh.'

NC Permanently.

Just say "I'm pregnant" and briefly flick your eyes down to her belly, brief enough that you can deny it later if necessary, and just let your statement hang in the air.

Why not be up front with them from the start?

With an excited smile say..."PIL we have some exciting news! We are having another baby!"

Then immediately switch to dead-pan/death stare and say..."And if anyone thinks it's either funny or appropriate to make comments about my size this time, they will incur my pregnancy wrath".
Continue death stare when they start to make light/make excuses. If necessary add an "I'm serious".

I think you should def have a comeback! Will hopefully shut them up. Why people need to be rude I don't know, I was on the receiving end of many snide comments when I was pregnant and wish I'd been tough enough to say something back.

Comebacks make you look like a jerk so don't stoop to their level. How about a confident and honest 'please stop insinuating I'm fat because I'm clearly not'.

Fil said quite a few last time.

I wish I'd said...... 'you're supposed to kick a football grandad not swallow it'

Where the fuck is your DH in all this? Why has he not told HIS family that their treatment of you is unacceptable?

I wouldn't be seeing people who talked to me that way ... whose side is your DH on???

I ended up with a weary / exasperated "Just stop!" on repeat when PoisonousSIL was at her worst. Then she upped her game and she got a loud "Fuck off!" 17 years NC and not counting

"You are confused. I'm not fat. I'm pregnant. You, however, are fat." Coldly.

Although your DH should have stopped this last time...

I'm finding this thread uncomfortable.
Posting nasty things you can say to overweight people is not very civilised. What do you hope to achieve by this?

They are jealous of you, thats what it is.
I would just stay NC, if you do decide to see them tell your husband to tell them they have to be polite. If they started then I would tell them to get out or leave myself if I was visiting them.

FaFoutis That's ok you don't have to agree with it. OP is hoping to embarrass her ILs into stopping being dicks about her weight.

'You must've been a great loss to the diplomatic corps.'

'Are you always this rude or is this a special occasion?'

'Maybe you should take a look in the mirror before you criticise others.

Dh has told them to stop it last few times. Mil initially denied and blamed bil. Then eventually about 6 months later admitted it and said she was joking and doesn't know me so didn't know I'd be offended.

It's part of the reason I'm nc. Because they are so rude and offensive.

I wouldn't try insulting them back, it will lead to arguments.

Instead, ask them if they realise how rude they're being. Or if they mean to be so rude. Then just be silent and wait for them to respond, and whatever they say, just respond with, "Wow."

Leave long silences if you have to. Make them feel awkward.

Or you could just not see them, the miserable lot.

Comebacks make you look like a jerk so don't stoop to their level.

I will never ever understand this. Why would retaliating against bullies "make you look like a jerk..." - it doesn't make you look like a jerk at all, it makes you look like you're standing up for yourself, something which nobody else seems to be doing!!!

Why? Why is it the victim that has to retain the mythical 'moral high ground'? The mythical moral high ground is there to keep people in their place.

I wouldn't even give them another chance, or if I did, it would only to tell them to fuck off, watch their faces when they realise I'm serious and then go NC again.

Bullies will only bully as long as nobody stands up to them. And the amount of advocating of bullying on this thread by advising the mythical moral high ground is astounding to me.

"no I'm not fat, I'm pregnant. Do you actually understand the difference? How am I expected to produce a 7 pound baby without putting on any weight?"

I do like the minute glance at her waistline mentioned above

Is it worth the bother of seeing them? Do they even deserve to know you are pg? I hope you don't let them see your current dc.

It takes a lot to go NC.

Giving them another chance is giving them another chance to take aim again

I wouldn't bother. stay NC

They are rude & offensive?

Stay nc!

Thing is I was never fat in my last pregnancy, I only put on the Wright of the baby and fluid. I lost weight elsewhere and after I gave birth I weighed even less.

MIL is a bully tbh. No one ever anywhere stands up to her except dh over the last year and he's had a mouth full of abuse and gilt trips from them

I agree with Hissy, none of this childish insulting is worth your time and these are your husband's parents. If you're no contact then why are you bothering?

I think 'fuck off' is much more civilised than making nasty comments about weight or size.
The moral high ground means not joining in with the slanging match. It doesn't mean not standing up for yourself.

Although having said that, I wouldn't have kept stum and would have insulted them back.

@wakeuptortoise No, sadly we lost our first baby.