AIBU to give up on bil?

[Sisinisawa]

Background: according to DH his younger brother was always the golden child. This may be relevant?

DH and I have been married ten years and have two children.

Bil has a degenerative illness which recently has got to the point where he has had to stop working and move back in with pil as he is now on benefits. I understand he is short of money and this isn't about that.

However. He used to be normal about cards and gifts i.e. would give Christmas gifts to all of us, and birthday gifts to the children. I always thought it was weird he didn't give DH a birthday gift but DH was ok about it so none of my business.

Over the last few years the Christmas gift to me and DH got worse as in crap and clearly an afterthought to the point when he just stopped giving us anything. He was still working then and didn't discuss it with us.

He did still give gifts to the children though.

This year however he sent a Christmas card addressed to DH and family as though I and the children - his nephew and niece- don't exist and no gifts at all.

And my and DH's birthdays were both recent and he sent a card for DH but not for me.

I'm sick of it. He clearly doesn't give a shit about us so I want to go no contact with him and stop calling him uncle as he's done nothing to deserve that title. AIBU?

Surely this is a wind up?

Thanks Mummy

Don’t think OP will be back somehow

You are a disgusting self absorbed person who should be hanging her head in shame. Your poor bil

My BIL is golden child, twatty about gifts and is generally irritating. We haven’t given up on him and would definitely be supporting him if he was that poorly.

Jesus Christ - u sound utterly vile OP- that poor poor man. Do us a favour OP and fucking do one

And the thread is till here!?

What's a reverse, please?

A reverse is when someone writes a thread from the other perspective.

So say my brother stole my phone. I write a thread saying I stole my sister’s phone and everyone says “you’re a dick” and I go “thanks everyone for proving my brother’s a dick”

The op didn't come back. What a surprise

Rumbaintheraindrops I think that shows that it wasn't a wind-up or reverse. OP got a barrage of (imo) justified comments and I hope they read through them and have changed their way of thinking.

I’m watching Six Feet Under and Catherine O’Hara’s character has just had a tantrum about how everyone else’s life decisions affect her. Rung a bell for me and took me straight back here!

What is that family culture like? My in laws aren't token gift people. I don't think I have ever had anything from BIL. Not gas my husband. Only the children. DH is also very sloppy with gifts. I too have become sloppy. The only person who soesgifts consistently is mySIL. But that doesn't mean that we don't all love each other. We are just not particularly materialistic in that way.

Not surprised he left your name off the card. Are you really as horrible as you are coming across here.

"Wow. A sick man has lost his livelihood and his independence and has had to move in with his parents as he needs help and you're ready to 'disown' him because he doesn't buy you presents?"

THIS

The obsession and entitlement re receiving presents on this website is astounding!

Honestly you're wanting to create a family drama / put your husband in an ackward/ uncomfortable position over a present and a card?! You need to give your head a bit of a wobble and put things in perspective.

And. For the record my family do a secret Santa with a reasonable budget as it's one day and don't see the point in going crazy spending for the sake of it. We all have good incomes but appreciate the religious meaning of Christmas, as opposed to being grabby and self entitled.

OP, is this you?

This has got to be a reverse. No one is this self absorbed.