AIBU to give up on bil?

[Sisinisawa]

Background: according to DH his younger brother was always the golden child. This may be relevant?

DH and I have been married ten years and have two children.

Bil has a degenerative illness which recently has got to the point where he has had to stop working and move back in with pil as he is now on benefits. I understand he is short of money and this isn't about that.

However. He used to be normal about cards and gifts i.e. would give Christmas gifts to all of us, and birthday gifts to the children. I always thought it was weird he didn't give DH a birthday gift but DH was ok about it so none of my business.

Over the last few years the Christmas gift to me and DH got worse as in crap and clearly an afterthought to the point when he just stopped giving us anything. He was still working then and didn't discuss it with us.

He did still give gifts to the children though.

This year however he sent a Christmas card addressed to DH and family as though I and the children - his nephew and niece- don't exist and no gifts at all.

And my and DH's birthdays were both recent and he sent a card for DH but not for me.

I'm sick of it. He clearly doesn't give a shit about us so I want to go no contact with him and stop calling him uncle as he's done nothing to deserve that title. AIBU?

WTF? Is this a reverse?

I do know another person with autism who places HUGE importance on cards. And has often fallen out with people who she thinks has broken social rules about birthday cards or thank you cards. Including me! Could it be the same person!!?

Do you have a life long condition op? Let alone a degenerative one. Because you come across as totally selfish!
He probably doesn’t give two fucks about your birthday you know given that he is pretty ill

Blimey. My brother has money and no illness but doesn't do birthday cards or gifts for me or my family. He texts me on my birthday and that is it. He and his DW don't do Christmas cards either. I still buy a birthday and Christmas gift for his DD because she is still young. Does not bother me a jot that it is imbalanced. I certainly wouldn't be expecting cards and gifts for a sick man with no job!

Wow. You're unbelievable.

Worldsworstcook
I can feel your flaming face and shame from here. That burning feeling in your chest where you know you've been told a few home truths that really hurt and it burns!

I really hope so.

I can't remember the last time I read such an egotistical, unfeeling, uncaring, self absorbed opening post. You should hang your head in shame, OP.

Christ, OP. Get some empathy. He's not moved back in with his parents because he's a golden child. Do you know what degenerative means?

My grandad had a stroke, so only wrote "from grandad x" on my Christmas card, should I disown him? Seriously, I can't believe you even had to ask if this was unreasonable - course it is! You just sound like a heartless cow.

Op not back I see....

This cannot possibly be real...surely no one is actually this vile?

It's a fucking reverse. I hate reverses.

Surely just accept that yous don't exchange cards / gifts anymore and move on? It doesn't mean he doesn't give a shit and hopefully that's not what you need to feel cared about or define someone as family.

It's a fucking reverse. I hate reverses.

I don't actually think it is.

Mummy just out of interest how do you check posting history? Love your user name

What's a reverse?

1/10 OP. You are supposed to drip feed the bit about the degenerative illness....

OP has complained about his cards and 'shit' presents before.

Apparently he has Parkinson's.

Apparently he has Parkinson's. WTF? You are a bad egg, OP.

You are lacking in compassion and empathy. You don't deserve to be remembered on your birthday, or any other day come to that. Have you offered any support to your BIL? You sound ghastly.

Parkinson’s? Parkinson’s?

There is one word for the OP. A word I hardly use - bitch. I hate that word but I hate OP more.

Im disgusted by the OP

I love Advance Search - fascinated to see that the OP weaned her DD off of breast feeding in November at eight years old

I have just seen your BIL has Parkinsons, is that correct?

As I said in my previous post my dad has Parkinsons. I cannot believe after seeing what your BIL has had to go through that anyone could be this callous. It breaks my heart that my dad is no longer my dad, my children will never know him as the amazing man I know. He forgets their birthdays, mine and DH’s too at times he forgets our names. He is slowly being destroyed by this awful disease and all you are worried about is no birthday card. OP you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

I will also add I have a chronic illness myself and if anyone at any point feels like you do OP, my life would be a hell of a lot better without them in it!

Yes OP you should totally go NC with him, I mean I'm dead but I still manage to get a gift for my grabby bitch of a SIL.

ImListening
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SilverySurfer
8! 8! Why would you feed a child til that age (if indeed its the truth). I got fed up with dd at 2.5 but in extended bfing terms that apparently isn’t extended bfing.