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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could you forgive your sister if...

119 replies

Ninarina · 24/01/2018 14:04

She kissed your husband in a state of drunkenness? Am I being unreasonable by not wanting to see her ever again?

OP posts:
InsomniacAnonymous · 24/01/2018 16:18

Bluntness100 "You need to give more context. Did he push her away or did he kiss her back?"

She has - post @ Wed 24-Jan-18 15:28:13

EggsMilkandFlourPancakePower · 24/01/2018 16:21

Yearofyouremember. Weird thing to say unless you're the sister???

WickedLazy · 24/01/2018 16:22

No, you're not. Or him if he recipricated (outside arranging access for dc, if you have them).

HouseworkIsASin10 · 24/01/2018 16:23

I have had issues with her before about various things

Sounds like no great loss then if you don't see her. I'd have nothing to do with her.

Cheekyandfreaky · 24/01/2018 16:27

I would find it hard to forgive my sister but I would try to seek out her version of events too.

InsomniacAnonymous · 24/01/2018 16:30

EggsMilkandFlourPancakePower "Yearofyouremember. Weird thing to say unless you're the sister???"

I took the comment to mean that the bereavement was no excuse for the OP's sister's behaviour.

EggsMilkandFlourPancakePower · 24/01/2018 16:34

Yes, makes more sense that way now you point it out😬

FurCoatFurKnickers · 24/01/2018 16:56

@Ninarina

What is your definition of a long term relationship? 2.5 years ago you met someone who came round once a week/fortnight and rarely stayed over - is this the same man?

Your relationship with your sister is clearly difficult from past posts. Her saying "You killed Mum" is not the behaviour of someone who loves you.

I'd cut her loose as she does not seem to add anything positive to your life?

CillitBangYouCompleteMe · 24/01/2018 17:08

EggsMilk glad you commented. I thought it was weird too. Now feel a bit silly. Blush

OfaFrenchmind2 · 24/01/2018 17:28

did she have him at knifepoint forcing this kiss? or was it a 2 way thing?

Is the knife point thing the only forced sexual contact you recognise? Oh boy...

YearOfYouRemember · 24/01/2018 18:58

EggsMilkFlourHmm of course I'm not the sister. I think it's obvious the point I'm making.

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2018 19:03

Ah, missed update.

Op, I'd speak to her. Take her out for a coffee or something. Just ask for her version of events calmly.

JustVent · 24/01/2018 19:04

I would forgive her in time, a long time.

But I would never, ever trust her or be as close to her ever again.

What a cuntish thing to do.

JustVent · 24/01/2018 19:06

I missed your second post.

No, that would be a NC for me. Do not feel bad, sack off those who make you feel guilty for it.

ColinFlower · 24/01/2018 19:08

Do you think she’s having a bit of a, I don’t know the right word...going off the rails a bit? Losing control of herself? How long ago did your mum die?

I think I would eventually try and find a way to move on from the incident if it was my sister because we have an unconditional love. I would struggle to forgive.

Rachie1973 · 24/01/2018 19:13

My ex and my mother had an affair.

We speak, it's strained, but its about more than just me and her.

confusedlittleone · 24/01/2018 19:14

Your husbands the one at fault here not your sister. He's the one who your married to, he's the one that's supposed to be faithful to you, and the one who's not supposed to make other people feel like a kiss is even an option

JustVent · 24/01/2018 19:18

The sister isn’t at fault?! Have you got to be kidding me?!

Feb2018mumma · 24/01/2018 19:18

Part of me wants to say never forgive becuase it is ridiculous to blame kissing someone on alcohol alone and she obviously had been thinking about it before.

The other half of me thinks that she is your sister and must have some type of issue to have done something so ridiculous knowing your husband would be faithful and tell you?

I think only time will tell if you are able to forgive or look at her again? Definitely tell her you need time without her in your life for a bit.

BurningStar · 24/01/2018 19:22

@confusedlittleone What absolute crap. Fuck off your ridiculous comments. Fucking hate this 'Men are always in the wrong no matter what' attitude on MN.

LemonysSnicket · 24/01/2018 19:24

I’d be v v angry. But honestly, yeah I’d forgive her. But that’s our relationship, not yours.

PeacefulBlessing · 24/01/2018 19:27

Your husbands the one at fault here not your sister. He's the one who your married to, he's the one that's supposed to be faithful to you, and the one who's not supposed to make other people feel like a kiss is even an option

Fucking ridiculous and offensive attitude.

Lizzie48 · 24/01/2018 19:30

I agree, the OP's sister is definitely as much to blame as the OP's DH. Very likely the DH pushed her away, in which case he's not to blame at all. Obviously we don't know. But the OP's DSis should have some loyalty to her DSis surely, however you look at it??

OohOohMrPeevly · 24/01/2018 19:35

Horrendous situation; poor you.

InsomniacAnonymous · 24/01/2018 19:46

BurningStar I couldn't agree more.