I was expecting this, yet still disappointed and upset by it.

[Stabbytheunicorn]

This post is probably outting, but I don't really care.

Today is my birthday. I've worked at my place of work for over 2 years now but my colleagues and I are very much separate from the main building and the other staff that work there. I did however do a brief stint in that building and worked alongside a few of the staff there. Every milestone birthday is celebrated by a buffet lunch for birthday person, which is nice as they don't come around often. I've attended a few over the last few years and there is normally a cake, maybe flowers, definitely a card. The last one was a joint one for two staff, one that started after me and one that had only been there a few weeks. However, today, my milestone birthday I've received nothing. No lunch, no flowers.. not even a card.

The colleagues I work closely with day to day have got me a few little things which is nice, but they didn't have to and really shouldn't be expected to, but did because they knew the main work place wouldn't be bothering.

I just feel so unimportant, so undervalued, so worthless. I wasn't expecting a lunch, I knew that, but not even a bloody card, on a big birthday. I'm trying not to be all snowflakey about it but finding it hard not to take it personally.

AIBU to have hoped for a card at least. Flowers would have been lovely, but not even a card?

BTW, before anyone asks, the people that organise these milestone celebrations knew, 100% knew.

Happy Birthday OP

They are meanies and you deserve more.

Happy belated birthday wishes to you Stabby I’m sorry I can offer anything more than virtual gifts, but if it helps, this thread has been good reading. I was “forgotten “ when my face didn’t fit, it’s bloody depressing, but as pp said, the best revenge is to live well

🎁🎂🎉

Happy birthday OP.
Hope you've had a better day after work!

Just had a thought.... Has there been any birthdays this year?
Perhaps they've decided to stop with the buffet and gift from the beginning of this year and you were the first birthday it affected and you have missed an email? hopeful

I'm doing the same as browneyes and taking my birthday off work. We don't do workplace celebrations where I am and I'm happy to dodge the cake-buying. Happy birthday OP.

If could be that they are cutting back and no longer doing the buffet thing as a pp said.
Or that it's because you are now in a different building/different department? If they do it for others in your building then that would be very unfair.

I know exactly how you feel! Where I work 4 Of is had the same milestone birthdays over 18 months or so. First one got flowers and balloons sent to workplace, I was second and didn't even get a card, 3rd and 4th had whiprounds which went towards very nice jewellery. It's shit but after mine was forgotten I didn't bother donating to the collection.

Our workplace is inconsistent. Depends if your face fits. Some folk get the works for any occasion you can think of. I got nothing for a very close bereavement, no card even. Another colleague gets flowers on every anniversary of a bereavement she had years ago...same with birthdays. we all do the collection but some desks get decorated, banners, confetti and the work collection is added to with chocolates, wine etc...I just laugh about it now, it's petty and political.Says more about them than you.

Stabby 🎂
Happy birthday. That sounds pants. I suppose it depends where the money comes from. However, it is grossly unfair. You would be perfectly in your rights to ask management. Ie the boss overseeing you and the organisers. Very animal farm. 🙄

mumofblueeyes
Im sorry you were hurt. People don’t understand how emotionally gruelling the adoption process. But they do understand what it is to be a beached whale and how physically and emotionally draining giving birth and looking after a newborn is. I don’t think I would have thought to have a party either because outsider looking in, this could be too overwhelming for you. A gift for your child, something to give to you once you came back to work or to send home to you. And would the adoptive parents want a party and the attention drawn to them? Some people are very private about their fertility and I would treat this much more as a private affair in case I caused the adoptive parents offence. And adoption is sadly still awkward in society although thankfully views are changing.

MotherofBeagles
Oh that’s pants. Either leave it or send “Sorry, no. I don’t feel comfortable contributing to a gift for a person from another department when I didn’t get one from my own.”

Bhaji that’s dreadful