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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have two glasses of wine everyday ..

34 replies

ginorwine · 21/01/2018 19:06

I have always loved drinking more than eating . In that I love a cup of tea and I also enjoy wine .
Over the last three years have got into the habit of having a glass of wine whilst cooking tea . Then have another mid eve . At most I wd have half a bottle ever . Unless at a party or similar . I really enjoy the treat aspect . We were on holiday yesterday and we had three glasses of wine during the course of an afternoon in a pub looking over the sea .
Today I decided not to have a drink . I realised it's become a habit similar to eating meals or something like that .
I miss it but I don't feel uncomfortable but it's like am ' expecting ' a drink in my body - suggesting a level of dependence ?
Aibu or a health risk to have developed this habit ?

OP posts:
TheGrumpySquirrel · 21/01/2018 19:07

I also do this (not at the moment as pregnant). But I realised how hard it is not to! Which makes we wonder if it's a problem .. wondering the same as you OP

frasier · 21/01/2018 19:12

How big a glass and how many units?

I think I'd be worried if I thought of alcohol in that way. Sounds a little like you are on your way to dependence...

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 21/01/2018 19:14

Well to put it bluntly a glass of wine is approx. 2/3 units per glass and you are having 2 a night so at a minimum that 4 units a night x 7 (for each day of the week) and you are consuming between 28 and 42 units a week! To put that into perspective its recommended an adult has no more than 14 units a week, so yes I would say you have a serious drinking problem!

AlwaysOldBeforeMyTime · 21/01/2018 19:15

I'm similar- I normally have 2 glasses of wine a night and find myself missing it if I don't. I've been having 2 consecutive nights off every week on purpose to try and cut down, but it hasn't helped with the craving wanting a glass.

Just had a week off wine and that's helped a little - although I think about it at the same time every night (habit?) I don't necessarily actually fancy a glass iyswim.

I do worry whether it's a habit or something more....going to try and make sure that unless I really want a glass I don't just revert to having one for the sake of it!

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 21/01/2018 19:16

Based on a half a bottle a day that's over 30 units a week, double what is deemed "safe" for women, but they now think there isn't really a safe limit. High levels of drinking are linked to increases in some cancers, especially breast.
I think I was drinking around 20 - 25 units a week so have tried dry January, it's been fine so far, after the first 2 weeks my sleep has improved and I have more energy, plus dropped a few pounds. I'd give it try and see how you get on.

123fushia · 21/01/2018 19:17

I started with one, then two glasses of red every night. Gradually, this increased until it got to 4 glasses. Tolerance to it seemed to grow over time - kept telling myself I deserved it/ everybody else did it etc. etc.
couldn't sleep without it. Am making myself do Dry January. Every night I have an urge to have a glass, but so far have resisted. Feel much better every morning for not drinking. Worried that I will go back to bad habits after Jan. hair shinier, complexion has improved and have lost a few pounds too!

Bambamber · 21/01/2018 19:21

Drinking regularly like that is less risky than binge drinking, but isn't without risks. The size of the glass also matters. I sometimes have a small glass of wine with dinner (125mls), but I can take it or leave it. If you're missing it, I would personally take that as an early warning sign that you do need to consider cutting out the booze

goose1964 · 21/01/2018 19:26

Perhaps you would like to read this article about why safe drinking limits are a load of tosh given the influence of the anti alcohol brigade. This is not the only article about it but it's easy to understand

protzonbeer.co.uk/comments/2016/05/17/new-safe-drinking-limits-are-bad-science

Eminybob · 21/01/2018 19:31

I’m similar to you op, have found myself drinking wine every day, and the quantities seem to have crept up over the years too.
It’s not unusual for dh and I to finish off 3 bottles between us some evenings.

I know it’s appalling, god knows what it’s doing to my health, I’ve put in about 3 stone over the last couple of years.

So I decided to try dry January, and have surprised myself with how easy I have found it. It’s quite a relief as I was worried that I had become dependent, but I guess if I have given up so easily I can’t be? I’m thinking of carrying it on after January, but I would like to be able to go back to having a couple of glasses just at the weekend. I know that I’ll need to be very careful not to slip back into old habits though.

Floods123 · 21/01/2018 19:35

YANBU. Enjoy.

Hedgehoghogger · 21/01/2018 19:40

It depends on what risk is ok to you. The 14 units really isn't based on hard science - if you read most of the literature on the effects of alcohol they investigate the impact of far more - sometimes at least 12 units a day. Where the 14 came from I'm really unsure but it's a case of that probably being about fine rather than 14 fine, 15 is awful.

Then you have the level of risk. They often use language such as three times more ... when that could be a 6% rather than a 2% risk of something. Depends on how you balance that out in your life ... everything is a risk but if you have close relatives that died from liver disease it's probably more.

I'd worry more about whether you need it ... whether it has any negative effects ... whether you're worried ... rather than how much unless it's really excessive.

Bringondrunkfeb · 21/01/2018 19:42

Despite my user name, I try and never drink 2 consecutive days, and not the early part of the working week. I read that your liver needs every other day off to recover.

Whilst your level of drinking isn’t worrying as such, I’d worry that I was only one major life setback away from becoming properly dependent - so I’d want to cut it back as not great habits can turn into really bad coping mechanisms.

kaytee87 · 21/01/2018 19:45

Basically your liver is never getting a break. How big are the glasses,

LizzieSiddal · 21/01/2018 19:45

I think if anyone is “craving” a drink, then yes, you have a bit of a problem.

RunningOutOfCharge · 21/01/2018 19:48

you have a problem

and its not a treat anymore is it....

Eolian · 21/01/2018 19:52

I wouldn't. Two glasses a night, especially if they are large ones, is too much to not have an effect on your health. Plenty of MNers will scoff at that and say it's fine, but that's probably because they drink more than you. I use to drink loads in my twenties when I went out, but I never drank more than about 4 nights a week max.

DrawingLife · 21/01/2018 19:53

That link goose is for an article by an alcohol lover quoting lobby groups and members of the alcohol industry, none of them medical experts, all of them with a vested interest. I'd take it with a huge grain of salt and do more research.

I'm no doctor, but I know several people who developed serious health problems (irreversible nerve damage etc.) after years of regular, "moderate" drinking which steadily increased after a bereavement / retirement / depression.

If you're questioning your habitual drinking you may do well to listen to yourself imo.

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 21/01/2018 20:23

Yes of course goose let's all believe what prozton BEER have to say ... Hmm

OP it sounds like you are at the start of dependency so take this as a wake up call to cut down your drinking. Your liver and health will thank you.

Delatron · 21/01/2018 20:30

It's interesting that the recommended max units for Spain are 34 units! Every country is different, so what evidence are they using to come up with such different guidelines?

I think your liver does need a break. Could you do Mon/Tuesday off?

Original poster
ginorwine · 21/01/2018 20:31

Thanks all
Had no wine tonight
I think it's habit related
In from work cooking - the Tv and fav programmes it's a habit .
I really love drinking . I've had soda tonight and it's been fine .
It's sometimes difficult to see it as too much as it seems so part of life - say like in Spain builders have a beer in the day ( I kmo that's not here !)
But it seems so normal to have wine with cooking .
Have looked at drink aware website . What someone up thread said - that my liver never gets a rest really made me think !

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 21/01/2018 20:32

If you have a habit where you regularlu consume alcohol as part of your routine then it's a problem

MarieNostra · 21/01/2018 20:36

The thought police might emerge soon to tell us all that a thimble full of alcohol every day will kill us or something.

Look, have your wine. The acid test is to stop at two.

Who decided on the unit limits anyway, and does it apply worldwide does anyone know.

Our ancestors drank beer/wine all day instead of water because the water was undrinkable. And they only died young because it was the Middle Ages when life expectancy was very low anyway! At least they enjoyed their few years on Earth.

Bringondrunkfeb · 21/01/2018 20:37

I try and finish dinner with herbal teas on non boozing nights - maybe establish some other wind down ritual such as a nice bath etc?

Traveler0027 · 21/01/2018 20:40

Just checked my wine bottle, it contains 7.1 units. I have half a bottle at a time, but thats just on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, so thats 10.6 units per week according to my calculations. Thats 2 glasses per night and i think thats fineGrin

BewareOfDragons · 21/01/2018 20:40

I know a lot of people, especially mums, who drink wine or prosecco or some such 'treat' daily. 2, 3 glasses. And it really is too much. It's a quiet epidemic.

A lot of them also complain about how hard it is to shift pounds ... not looking hard at their 2-3 unit glass after glass after glass.

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