Is this rude?

[Sisinisawa]

Eating lunch where everything is in bowls to serve yourself and there's some left over from first helpings.

A: would you like some of these?

B: no. I don't like them.

A thinks B is rude and should just say no thank you. B thinks they are just being factual.

What do you think?

Rude. If someone offers you something the polite way to answer is "Yes, please" or "No, thank you".

But then manners are big in our house.

(A northern friend says "Yes, thanks" but never "No, please" )

Depends how it was said to be honest. If it's like my 9 year old who would pull a face hen that would be rude

B is being a bit blunt aka rude if A made them.

But: if B thinks A might provide them again then they need to be clear they didn't like them (but a bit more tactfully).

Plus if they order a selection then A might feel.bad for ordering something B didn't like and a little annoyed that B didn't say when ordering

I think it depends on the relationship between A & B and also the company at the table. I would probably just say I didn’t like them without thinking it was rude if it was my partner asking.

In the end B upset A. B should apologise and move on

as a first answer then "No thankyou" is definitely the best option, ""I don't like them" is not where I would go for a first time refusal.

B is rude.

"No thank you. I'm not overly keen on them to be honest."

Polite and factual.

For more info: it's home cooked food but a good selection. not in a restaurant.

Depends on tone of voice

It was a bit of a bit reply. “No thank you, I’m not keen on those.” would have been better.

I'm constantly telling my DDs they shouldn't just say 'No, I don't like it', but should instead say, 'No thank you', we're working hard to teach them good manners. And our DDs (8 and 5)both have the habit of pulling a face and saying, 'Ewwwww.' (Cringe)

They're both learning, though, thankfully.

It's a little blunt, but honestly it sounds like A is looking for a reason to be upset.

Was it one of the things in bowls? Or everything in the bowls?

If my friend told me she didn't like olives, I wouldn't be offended

Unless A has been told several times that B doesn't like them, in which case A is rude.

Yes, I was taught "No, thanks. I'm not keen on..." if offered something I didn't like.

B is definitely being rude. There is no need to say you don't like them!! Poor A went to the trouble of making lunch, has seen people eat the food and now B is saying they never liked it in the first place! Completely unnecessary. B should have just said no thank you.

It depends. If it's a guest, it is rude, a no thank you would be enough.
If it's a family member, it's not that bad. I would rather tell my DH I dislike something than having it served again and again because he thinks I like it.

One of the things in the bowls. Everything was in bowls to self serve.

If it's something that A made for B, then B was rude for saying they don't like it.

Should have just said 'No thanks' and left it at that.

My husbands family would show their disgust and pull faces if it was something they didn't like

Totally depends on context.

Married A & B and a chinese takeway. It's fine to say don't like it.

Child B and a lovingly prepared meal, with the 'don't like' accompanied by gagging face. Rude.

Adult B visiting parents (A) that they are close to. Acceptable if said nicely and politely with plenty of compliments about other things.

Adult B visiting friend/ more distant relatives, impolite

The devil is in the detail OP.

I would've said "no thank you" if probed further "I'm not overly keen on xyz".

I don't think B was rude. They weren't saying "no, because your cooking is shit". Makes life easier if everyone is open about likes and dislikes.

My son would say what B said. He has ASD.