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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In a fury re queue in cafe who was first

130 replies

Viviennemary · 20/01/2018 16:41

I was in a fury earlier this afternoon. re this scenario. DH said he thought I was in the wrong but I don't think I was. We went into this café/deli type place for tea. A woman was just in front of me through the door. She went to the deli counter. There is a sign just before the seating part that says queue here to be seated so I stood there. I was the only one in that queue. Then she called over table for two and swept passed. No other tables free.

So DH went out. As he probably thought I'd say something. Then they said around five minutes. So I said I'd be back later and that I could have shouted too. It has really put me off going in this place again although the food is nice. We went somewhere else which was nice too. But was really annoyed. (I know it's trivial.) DH said she was in the café first. So she was first. But she wasn't in the queue. Grrrrrr!!!

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 21/01/2018 18:41

I actually agree with you op. If she had gone and stood in the wrong place then fair enough. However she went to buy at something at the deli counter first so forfeited her place at the front of the queue.

Katherine2626 · 21/01/2018 18:45

It is a really annoying thing. We experience similar In a local cafe here (M and S) I call in quite often for a coffee, and there are several signs asking customers to buy their food and drink before they sit down. You can almost guarantee that there will be five or six tables occupied by the 'other half' of people in the queue, and when you get your coffee there is nowhere to sit! One day the woman in front of me at the head of the queue asked the staff to stop serving; she didn't want her drink yet as she had nowhere to sit. There was a really uncomfortable silence for about five minutes until someone who had finished their snack got up and left, freeing up a table for her. I was next and the server said he would wait for an empty table - luckily I got one almost at once, but this is again the 'sense of entitlement' - people who don't think of anyone else and just grab what they want.

Emilybrontescorsett · 21/01/2018 18:54

I think queuing is only polite.
I hate going abroad where people push and shove and act like wild animals. Some people will push anyone aside and it's just rude and unnecessary.

Anyway as you were.

abilockhart · 21/01/2018 19:16

A fury over such a trivial issue. How ridiculous.

Your DH was obviously embarrassed. It cannot be easy for him having to cope in these situations.

ittakes2 · 21/01/2018 19:24

She went to the wrong place and you were told you had to wait 5 minutes? If someone was in a cafe before me but went to stand in the wrong place - I would have let them go first. I think it's odd you think that's great, she's made a mistake so I can push in front of her for a table!

paxillin · 21/01/2018 19:31

Anyway after this onslaught doubt I want to enter a café ever again.
It's really not hard to go to a cafe, but you don't get to jump the queue. If that is not doable, then never going again is probably wise.

Touchmybum · 21/01/2018 19:57

Seriously.

GabsAlot · 21/01/2018 19:57

i think the waiter should decide actually unless they didnt see who was first

i do go in and sit down at a table if im with someone and they get the food sorry katherine

pilates · 21/01/2018 20:04

Agree with your husband, a non-event really

JanKind · 21/01/2018 20:15

I think your comment “I have form for overreacting to trivia” says it all

First world problem

REBECCAB123 · 21/01/2018 20:19

You were first. Your right. Life is too short to worry about things like this x

3awesomestars · 21/01/2018 22:28

Life is too short 😀

Strygil · 21/01/2018 22:58

For Christ's sake how can you be so trivial, shallow and ignorant? Waaaaaa, someone pushed in front of me it's not FAIR waaaaaa! Grow up.

mizzmelli · 22/01/2018 00:04

I have really laughed at this thread. OP do you think you are the Queen? Get over your self ffs. I dread to think what would happen if someone had dared to buy the last Belgian bun! (Before you had a big baby hissy fit).

cheval · 22/01/2018 02:00

Possibly she had popped in request for a table at the queuing bit and then was browsing at deli part of shop. Just breathe, op, I get cross in stupid situations sometimes, it happens.

HannahGlasgowGal · 22/01/2018 02:04

She might have been told when she first arrived that the table would be cleared for her and then had a wee wander until it was ready. I'm a waitress and we do this regularly

WilyMinx · 22/01/2018 06:23

She got to the cafe before you, and if she had queued up in the right spot, she would have been seated before you anyway. I would be mad if I'd gotten there first and she tried to push in, but I don't see anything wrong with this scenario.

araiwa · 22/01/2018 06:54

i love that dh can predict the oncoming rage and fury and just disappears before anyone realises that he was with the embarrassing woman yelling and screaming at other customers

this clearly wasnt the first time, or 2nd 3rd or 4th time either

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 22/01/2018 07:00

You have anger issues by the sound of it. She was first. She knew she was first just didn’t happen to wait by the little sign. So what. It wouldn’t have made sense to seat you first.

AJPTaylor · 22/01/2018 07:04

Reminds me of a time when me and dh were going to a tea shop on a retail type park. Only one tea room and we stopped to break up our journey. 3.30 on a Sunday. As we approached there was an elderly couple behind us. My dh is well brought up so of course, held the door whilst they caught up and ushered them in ahead of us. They obvs took the last free table and we were told they would be the last customers and they would be closing.
Now that would have given me the rage if it hadnt been the perfect example of no good deed goes unpunished

coritabee · 22/01/2018 08:54

I would have got frustrated but nothing to be furious about. Just let it go. Use that energy elsewhere :)

Purplealienpuke · 22/01/2018 09:28

Intotheflood my dd has recently had a complaint made against her at work due to a C.F. jumping the queue (that wasn't particularly long) and barking her order. When my dd redirected her to the end of the queue the woman started shouting that dd was rude etc!! She neither old or disabled 😡 just fucking rude!!! It wasn't handled well by the assistant manager who hadn't witnessed the incident. C.F. got her order for free 😡. It wasn't boots but a well known coffee shop

Shodan · 22/01/2018 09:49

If you were in a fury over your incident OP you would have been incandescent with rage over my Worst Queue Experience Ever.

Few years ago two friends and I were on holiday Somewhere In Spain. We opted to go by bus to a local market. We carefully noted the correct bay at the bus station for our return trip and after a lovely day browsing, very Britishly queued at that bay. Other people arrived and started milling about in a haphazard fashion, apart from three other British women to whom we got chatting, one of whom was older with very swollen ankles (relevant, I promise you)

The first bus to pull up at that bay stubbornly refused to open its doors, the driver nonchalantly gesturing to a bus at a bay further down the line. We hesitated for a while but eventually went where he directed. The driver at the second bay then told us that the bus pulling in at a third bay was our bus.

Suddenly there was a complete mob of people, all of whom had arrived after us, charging towards the bus and thronging around the door. We were lagging behind somewhat, as the older lady couldn't move so fast, and we didn't want to just abandon her, having had friendly chats. (Plus two of us were Frightfully British and disinclined to abandon the queuing premise quite so quickly.)

However, our third friend decided Enough Was Enough. She wriggled her way to the front of the throng until she was nose-to-nose with the door, and was first on board, where she promptly bought six tickets. As other people tried to push past, the driver asked her who she was paying for, and she gestured at us five, who were still stuck somewhere near the middle of the crowd. And then it was like the parting of the Red Sea- he made everyone step aside so we could make our way onto the bus.

The moral of the story is- sometimes it pays to have a CF on your side...

Dianag111 · 22/01/2018 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 22/01/2018 13:43

OP - I think you were in the right. You were standing in the queue, waiting to be seated. She wasn't

However, I think getting in a "fury" is not justified

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