Are you a parent who doesn't RSVP to party invitations?!

[GinnyJumperoo]

If so, why? Why can't you send a quick text? Is it that hard?

DD's birthday party today and I have about eight parents who haven't bothered to RSVP for their kids.

This is the first party I've done and I naively assumed that a lack of rsvp would mean they weren't coming, but having spoken to a few of the other nursery mums who have had parties for their kids in the past year, this is not the case. "Some come, some don't". I understand that people do forget but from our discussions it's the same parents every time.

But what can you do?

I always r.s.v.p and think it's really rude not too. Its also useless responding at the last minute. Parents need to know to book venues, cater and make up party bags. I have to put my hand up though and admit I have twice over the years completely forgotten to take my DS to parties he was due to attend. I apologised profusely to the parents as soon as I realized but they were (understandably) unimpressed!

Why wouldn't you take the time to reply

It's rude

I left it until the day before the first time my daughter had a party invite but did apologise for being late. Have always replied to the others.
I still don't know how many children were at my daughter's 5th party. Hired community centre with inflatables. Didn't count them when they were sat eating.

Had some not reply and turn up (and bring a sibling), had some say they would be there and didn't turn up, and some that
said they would be there but brought siblings without saying. In 3 parties only asked twice if siblings could be brought (partner was working so no other childcare),but plenty of siblings attended (older and younger).
Even had a parent ask for a sweet cone for the younger sibling who I hadn't been told about.
Another comment there were no cup drinks left and her child wanted a second as we were clearing away. (tone was more as if she expected that I should have provided more instead of a being hopeful question) 30 invited, 20 confirmed and 40 drinks. The response was "no - there were double the number of drinks than children coming and they have all gone now"

For parents who say their kids don't hand the invites, do you ask them about notices etc when you chat about their day?

I often throw that question in just to help jog their memories.

I have done two all class parties - about 18 turned up. So 2/3rds. About five RSVPed to say coming. So much wasted food as I had to cater for all thirty.

This is why it's important to RSVP. The parent won't necessarily assume your child is not coming if you don't reply, because plenty of people don't bother to reply, yet still turn up.

And then there are the parents who bring uninvited siblings along and expect them to be catered for too.

When my children were small, I had a notice board in the hall, as well as a calendar. Party invites would be pinned to the notice board, and dates marked in the calendar. As I went past them several times a day, I wouldn't forget them.

I've held 3 parties for my daughter and mostly the non RSVPers have not turned up. I normally do plan for all the invitees even those who don't RSVP because it's not the kids fault the parent is too slack or rude to let me know, I've been lucky that the venues I've chosen have been pretty flexible with this and we've either been able to just pay for the invitees and add on extras if they arrive (which they mostly don't!)

It upsets me as I'm a real stickler for RSVPing, I take a photo of the invite in case it gets lost. I think only once have I missed it and that's when I texted the wrong number by mistake - I was mortified!! It literally takes two seconds to make a decision and send a text back these days.

I do always rsvp as soon as possible except when DH forgets to let me know DC have been invited, but thankfully nursery staff are pretty good.
One occasion that sticks in my mind is when one of my DC (pre-school) had a birthday party at a large play venue, suitable for kids between age 2-12 (and chosen by us for that very reason), we invited a family member's DC and they didn't RSVP or turn up, but then had the nerve to moan to other family members that we'd chosen somewhere their kids (age 8-12) were too old for. So the next birthday party we had (6mths or so later), we chose a different, larger, more inclusive venue (ages 2-14) and invited them again. They still didn't RSVP. DH followed up with a FB reminder a few days before the party and family member replied along the lines of "oh, sorry, we ignored the invite as we thought it had been sent to us by mistake (oddly enough, with their kids' names on it). Our kids are far too old for this sort of party". There's no pleasing some people.

I didn’t to the last one. Some people are busy.

And some are rude.

I sent out birthday invites for my son and gave people ample notice. Some people RSVP'd fairly quickly except one woman who RSVP'd 2 days (yes, TWO days) before the event and after I'd confirmed numbers. This was the same woman who sent out birthday invites for her son and was approaching people the very next day in nursery asking them when they'd be replying.