Is this serious

[Doiber292]

Who is BU unreasonable here? Will keep neutral so not to bias anyone.

DD is having issues with boyfriend of four years. She is 18. She wants to break up with him due to a variety of issues but she also fears she'll miss him.

Out of me and DH-

• one of us thinks she should be careful and not make any rash decisions as it's a serious relationship and she could regret it forever

• the other thinks she's 18 for fucks sake, going back to uni in January and that as it's her first ever boyfriend this was bound to happen. And that if anything it'll be good in the end as her boyfriend is very quiet and not like her and holds her back socially. So although upsetting not a life changing decision

Who is BU?

Btw we don't actually get involved, we just discuss our DDs life. We would never say this to her,m

*end of Jan

To me the sexond person is clearly right. And I suspect that person is you.

Clearly not you OP, the second one 😀

First one u.

When I split with my boyfriend to go to uni, my Grandma advised that if it was meant to be we’d end up back together again...

I’m firmly in the “she’s 18 ffs” camp

I'm with dump the boyfriend! 18 about to go to uni - cut the ties live life! 4 years with the same boyfriend at that age is bonkers! She needs to experience other relationships.

She is 18 it has run its course so she should end it

She is unlikely to miss him more miss being in a relationship

1. You are clearly person 2.
2. Different opinions aren't necessarily unreasonable or wrong.

Neither really.
You are both entitled to your opinions.
I agree with the 2nd scenario.
She needs to end it before she goes back to uni so she can properly enjoy herself.
18 is way too young to be 'settling'

Whoever holds the first view is BVU.
“Regret it forever”?!

They should respect their DD’s decision.

She's 18, an adult. Why do you have an opinion on this?

Impossible for us to know without having met either of them!

FWIW DH and I met at 18. We're 40 now with two teenaged sons and I've never had a moments regret.

To me the sexond person is clearly right. And I suspect that person is you.

I second this. Whoever it is that thinks this, they are right. DD should be enjoying her life at 18, footloose and fancy free, without boyfriend trouble hanging over her at uni. If, as you've said, she wants to end the relationship, then of course you should support her do it. She definitely won't miss him. She'll wonder why she didn't do it sooner.

Well I’m with person 2, but that doesn’t necessarily mean person 1 is wrong. Just different opinions.

I'm with person 2 - a 4 year relationship at 18? That's fucking ridiculous.

The bf is different from DD, very quiet and “holds her back”. And various “issues” are mentioned. Of course DD will miss him but long term she’s unlikely to regret dumping him.

Personally I agree with scenario 2, but totally up to daughter to decide

And I say this as a woman who met her DH at 17 and got two degrees while with him

My Dd was the same. Boyfriend from 14 then went to Uni and it naturally fizzled out. She realised that he was quite boring and that there was a big wide World out there.

The second person is correct!

Presuming viewpoint B is you & you are probably right. I did however leave the love of my life mainly because we were 'too young' and everybody told us that so your DH (or you)may have a point. However - she isn't feeling it so she is probably right to dump him and move on.

Well done for standing back and letting her make her own decisions/mistakes - it is something my Mum never managed (& I am trying, but it's bloody hard!).

Did the person giving viewpoint A perhaps do the same (make a rash decision at 18 and regret it forever..) and they are projecting their history/feelings onto their daughter?

4 year relationship at 18? That's fucking ridiculous

Entirely out of interest, not trying to start a fight here, but why is it? I think it's unusual, but I wouldn't necessarily say it's ridiculous.

I also think you’re person 2. I agree with you, but you’re both entitled to your own opinions. Not like you’re sharing them with her anyway.

My parents were like these two types of parents when I broke up with my first boyfriend. I think the one with the “don’t be rash” mindset just didn’t like the idea of their pfb playing the field a bit.

Wish i was 18 again....id dump his ass and live it up at Uni WOOP 😂

Oops sorry i dont know what came over me....yep i agree with 2nd person. Noones being U, both good points.

I agree with the ‘she’s 18 ffs’ side. I hope she works out for herself soon that breaking up is never easy, but her current situation make it as easy as it is ever likely to be.

Person 2 of course. She's only 18.