Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

996 replies

Fruem · 16/01/2018 20:31

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

OP posts:
PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 16:03

me

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 16:05

I think Chien you’re the one being snide by discrediting people’s opinions and stating I have my own agenda. It’s not personal calm down.

Chienrouge · 20/01/2018 16:05

Nah I’m perfectly calm, my lovely life as a SAHM makes me so Wink.

StealthPolarBear · 20/01/2018 16:07

"g1itterati

I think some people are wilfully misunderstanding me now because nowhere have I said the tasks I mention are "hard work". I actually said they are hardly earth shattering. The question was "What do SAHMs do all day", and those are a few examples, that's all. "
Bet you wish you hadn't answered :o

boredofwaiting22 · 20/01/2018 16:07

PasstheStarmix

I can’t stand it! But weirdly also like laundry. You could perhaps do 2 hours every other week at £10-12 a hour, it’s worth it.

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 16:09

Chienrouge Finally a positive for SAHM.

boredofwaiting22 · 20/01/2018 16:15

PasstheStarmix If your going back to work try & get one then. Really worth it if possible.

I also suggested it might be a generational thing because based on my experiences my peers & I outsource a lot of housework, cleaning, ironing etc. to enable us to be able with pt & get the benefits without the stress. Previous generations seemed to outsource less & traditionally the load would fall on the female.

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 16:17

boredofwaiting22 Try and get what?

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 16:21

Oh a cleaner...I wish I could bored. That’s why I’m jealous

g1itterati · 20/01/2018 17:06

StealthPolar - I know right Grin

Starmix - are you a SAHM yourself though?

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 17:29

I’m on maternity leave g1ittee

Katherine2626 · 20/01/2018 17:37

I had no car so everything was done on foot, I also cared for the large garden, looked out for two elderly neighbours who often needed a hand with shopping and domestic stuff, walked the dogs, looked after a menagerie of different creatures, kept a big house in fairly good condition, cooked a meal from scratch each day and did two classes each week to gain some qualifications. I didn't have much in the way of spare time but if I did - I collapsed with a book.

Mmest75 · 20/01/2018 17:45

I did like the your brave ....
I remember wondering the same when I did 12 hour days in the city ...
The school day is pretty short, we have a 20 min drive each way and they finish at different times. My husband is generally out from 5am - 930pm ish ...
It of course depends on many factors, size of House, number of children, pets, school run journey...
As I am here we of course do clubs, Brownies, Swimming through the week rather than at the weekends.
What cooking / baking you do..
My days are very full and pretty exhausting.
We have quite a big house too..
Like you say having that choice is nice ...
Yes of course I occasionally catch up with friends, try and have a swim one morning a week ... but Mainly I focus on the family / house ....
I don’t really miss working - and I did have a good job demanding a very good salary. I did work with my first and during my second pregnancy and then we decided what was best for us as a family. As we found weekends were just Sainsbury’s, Homebase, gardening, ironing and we didn’t get to do family stuff really, taking them Swimming a walk etc ... so we find it works for us.

lizzieoak · 20/01/2018 17:51

I’m between jobs right now, and was a SAHM when the kids were little (and pre-divorce).

When I worked I was shattered all the time and the house was a bit of a tip.

Now (exhaling) I can clean to a much better standard. I can do things like rummage through the teenager’s clothes for things he’s outgrown and bin or donate or cut up for rags, I can paint the rooms that have not been painted in 20 years, I can declutter, I can help my friend declutter her parent’s giant house now they’ve gone into a home, I can go to yoga 3x a week, I can walk for groceries instead of driving, I can read the occasional book and actually see friends (who work funny shifts in medicine).

Most importantly to me, I can be there for my teenager who is struggling massively with last year of school pressures, a broken heart, and mysterious “social problems”. It means the world to him that I can collect him from school when he needs a break and drive to the beach and just sit and watch the waves. I hated and resented having to be at work when his sibling was
going through similar.

And I think that happy SAHM’s tend to be introverts and happy enough with their own company.

lizzieoak · 20/01/2018 17:53

I’m between jobs right now, and was a SAHM when the kids were little (and pre-divorce).

When I worked I was shattered all the time and the house was a bit of a tip.

Now (exhaling) I can clean to a much better standard. I can do things like rummage through the teenager’s clothes for things he’s outgrown and bin or donate or cut up for rags, I can paint the rooms that have not been painted in 20 years, I can declutter, I can help my friend declutter her parent’s giant house now they’ve gone into a home, I can go to yoga 3x a week, I can walk for groceries instead of driving, I can read the occasional book and actually see friends (who work funny shifts in medicine).

Most importantly to me, I can be there for my teenager who is struggling massively with last year of school pressures, a broken heart, and mysterious “social problems”. It means the world to him that I can collect him from school when he needs a break and drive to the beach and just sit and watch the waves. I hated and resented having to be at work when his sibling was
going through similar.

And I think that happy SAHM’s tend to be introverts and happy enough with their own company.

Pooppants · 20/01/2018 17:55

Don't know if this help but I was a SAHM for 5 years from first pregnancy until second baby started school. From the begin I was so tired all the time: day started at 5 am with a early rise newborn/ baby/ toddler by 7 am I was strolling out to supermarket to get more vegetables and fruit at 9am I was one of the first at playgroups ( yes 5 times a week Monday to Friday ) by 11:30 am I was running to get home quick with 2 screaming tired babies to get then down for a nap so I could have one too. But not before cook they lunch and tied up the nappy bag as need to be top up on daily basis, the toddler would nap for 4 hours and the baby couple hours ( he would had another couple hours in the pram middle morning) food , cleaning, playing , tied up toys again, feed them again at 5:30pm , bath at 6 pm , bed by 6:30pm. Cleaning, shower and myself in bed by 7 pm, to be wake 3 to 4 times at night by a toddler coming to my bed. All over again at 5 am! I have more time off now as I work full time 5 days a week and kids are 5 and 6 !😜

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 20/01/2018 17:58

Yes, I think that not craving company does help. I thoroughly enjoy being in the house alone and doing my own thing.

Maireadplastic · 20/01/2018 17:58

So do you guys give your husbands a couple of hours each day to do things he would enjoy as well? Or do you expect him to share the load once he is at home? Because you are not sharing in the earning ..........

But contributing to family life isn't limited to the financial just as contributing to society isn't limited to the financial. Broaden your mind, hubby.

ferntwist · 20/01/2018 17:58

hubby If many of the SAHMs weren't at home getting their children to school and back, doing all the housework and admin, their DH wouldn't be able to be out earning and living the same lifestyle.

boredofwaiting22 · 20/01/2018 18:20

Also it’s massively easier stay on top of things these days with internet shopping, Amazon prime/dash, smart phones etc

lizzieoak · 20/01/2018 18:21

Just to add - even when working full time and divorced (full custody) I baked every day as I felt it was part of my job description (& I enjoy it in theory, though not when rushed off my feet with getting me and kids ready for work). Now I bake every day and enjoy it. This week, for example, we’ve had homemade croissants, oat scones, and bagels for various breakfasts, and a chocolate layer cake then brownies for treats (naturally skinny family). It is extremely satisfying for me to be able to do this for our family. It might not float everyone’s boat, but it is what I was designed for.

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 18:23

lizzieoak I want to live in your house Cake

lizzieoak · 20/01/2018 18:24

They’ll look back on me in wonder when they had their own kids :D

PasstheStarmix · 20/01/2018 18:25

boredofwaiting22 I love amazon prime, have you tried prime now? They bring it in 2 hours; not huge selection but it’s great.

boredofwaiting22 · 20/01/2018 18:34

Pass oh wow I’ve not. Luckily Im 10 mins walk from the high street so never caught too short but good to have a backup.