SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

[Fruem]

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

People are saying that things like going into town is what they do during the day, as the thread asked. They’re not saying it’s hard work, they’re just saying it’s what they do. Because that was the question. Would you be happy if they say they’re trekking into town barefoot, carrying 20kg bags of sand, because that’s what makes it ‘hard work’? Would it be acceptable then?

Is our existence on this planet only justified if we’re ‘working hard’?

I think some people are wilfully misunderstanding me now because nowhere have I said the tasks I mention are "hard work". I actually said they are hardly earth shattering. The question was "What do SAHMs do all day", and those are a few examples, that's all.

I don't know about a generational difference - I'm 40. I do feel as if I should cook for DH because I'm at home and I make quite an effort with that. It's not every night because sometimes he's away or out late. Similarly, we entertain a fair bit and I do all that. I have a cleaner a few times a week, so I don't do much cleaning, but I guess I do make sure the place is reasonably tidy before he gets home etc. I don't iron his shirts but I do take his stuff to the steam press or dry cleaners. If I was working, I probably wouldn't do this so much maybe. I used to work in social services / health service and I wouldn't have the energy if I was back there.

So do you guys give your husbands a couple of hours each day to do things he would enjoy as well? Or do you expect him to share the load once he is at home? Because you are not sharing in the earning ..........

hubby yeah, DH does things he enjoys too. Goes to the gym, out with his friends etc. Why wouldn’t he do things he enjoys?

There isn’t much load when he’s at home, because I get it done in the day. He does the cooking because guess what? He enjoys it. Cooking is his hobby.

Chienrouge No of course it’s allowed to be enjoyable but there’s a lot whose make it out to be another dreaded chore in their jam packed hectic day.

made

There isn't much household stuff to do in the evening on a school day but what there is I do. Childcare is usually done by both of us together because ds is very difficult for one person to manage at that time of day.

Some people wouldn't know hard work if it slapped them in the face.

Who is saying being at home without young children is hard work? Why do SAHP's have to be seen to be working hard. You claim to understand both roles but your coming across very negatively towards SAHPs.
What I do now isn't especially difficult or hard but when I was working my job wasn't what I'd call hard work most of the time either.

Chienrouge No of course it’s allowed to be enjoyable but there’s a lot whose make it out to be another dreaded chore in their jam packed hectic day

Where? I can only see where people have listed it in a list of things they spend their time doing.

g1itterati people are just reading what they want to read to suit their own agenda.

What I do now isn't especially difficult or hard but when I was working my job wasn't what I'd call hard work most of the time either

No, mine either. I wasn’t working down the mines or anything like that. I earned a decent amount of money in a corporate environment, in an air conditioned office, doing a job I enjoyed in an industry I was interested in. I often worked long hours, and it was sometimes stressful, but I enjoyed it.
That’s different though, apparently. You’re allowed to enjoy it if you’re earning money:

I found I was very busy. 9.30 by the time the school run is done, tidy, clean, washing, ironing. I needed an hour a day for crap like form filling, organising trips, finding new insurance/electric suppliers/phone contracts, filing, dealing with post etc- all those little admin jobs. Leave for school pick up at 2.15, so only really 5 hours to get everything done. Add in errand running- grocery shopping, trips to pick up necessities, then prep for dinner....

Comments like this don’t exactly make it sounds enjoyable Chien. Infact it sounds so depressing and busy i’m pleased I’m going back to work!

So do you guys give your husbands a couple of hours each day to do things he would enjoy as well? Or do you expect him to share the load once he is at home? Because you are not sharing in the earning ..........

I expect him to do stuff with the children reading/bedtimes/dispensing parental advise etc when he's here but then he wants to anyway. He worked this morning and went straight out with our eldest son to help out with scouts. Otherwise on weekdays there's not much to do other than rinse his plate and chuck it in the dishwasher, it's all done by me before he gets home. He does empty the dishwasher and make me a brew every morning though.

Starmix - but that's not your life. It's the life of that particular poster! Your day is whatever you make it (within limits). There's no set formula for being a SAHM, any more than there is for going to work. Surely you can see this.

So people say my DH is a workaholic and it's true to some extent. However, last year he still found time for two climbing trips, two car racing holidays to Portugal and he cycled half of Italy, plus other things. It's amazing how much business gets done on ski trips or racing days. Am I supposed to feel guilty for the odd run or Pilates?

I don’t get your point Starmix. In one breath you’re saying it’s enjoyable and not hard work, in the next you’re saying it sounds depressing and it’s not how you’d choose to spend your time.

Live and let live, eh?

g1itterati A pp asked where the comments like that were so I quoted one.

No, that list is not an example of a poster making out it’s hard work. That list is a poster listing what they do all day. Like the thread asked.
You’re baffling me now.

Chien I don’t know why you’re so baffled. It was relating to my comment when challenged over the enjoyable aspect.

At ds school the pta is run by sahm’s it’s a very well organised

I work and have worked in places where there are many volunteers it’s they were mainly people who had retired or students

I’m baffled because so far you’ve said being a SAHM isn’t hard work and the jobs mentioned by PP’s mentioned are easy and enjoyable, followed by saying that the list of jobs sounds awful and depressing and you’re glad you’re going back to work.
You’ve also said that people should make the choices suited to their family and their circumstances, but in every other post been snide about the choices made by SAHM’s.

The list you quoted above isn’t a poster making out that their life is hard. It also isn’t a poster saying they live the life of riley. It’s a neutral list, stating how they spend their time.
Which is the question asked in the OP.
You were the one who said the jobs sounded enjoyable. You were the one who then said it sounded awful and depressing.

Chienrouge Where did I say it wasn’t hard work? I said going to a rugby match and into town isn’t hard work.

Calm down Chien you’re getting far too accusing and irate (I half expect you to be pointing at you with an outreached finger.) everybody is entitled to their opinion.