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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

996 replies

Fruem · 16/01/2018 20:31

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

OP posts:
IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 19/01/2018 20:50

I disagree namechange. They might not be with their dc for the whole day but they are still doing plenty of sah parenting before and after school. Lots of people in this situation have woh partners who are home quite late or often away, leaving the bulk of child care to them.

Namechange16 · 19/01/2018 21:00

And people who work do that. My dh looks after the kids before school/nursery and I pick them up after. So what's your point? SAHMs who have school age children do not parent during the school day, like working parents.

ShellyBoobs · 19/01/2018 21:11

Namechange - that’s very true. ‘Full time mummy’ and all that other bollocks...

Just be honest!

PasstheStarmix · 19/01/2018 21:17

I agree Namechange16 and said something similar earlier. A few pp’s alluded to saying that people who work do less then those that stay at home and apparently it’s not a competition!?! Shock

PasstheStarmix · 19/01/2018 21:21

Apparently women who work don’t have time to pick their kids up or cook from scratch and all have so much support. I don’t agree because I know lots of women who hold down jobs and cook and clean and the rest of it. What ever anybody does if it works for you and your family who cares.

BlackberryandNettle · 19/01/2018 21:22

Being at home once kids at school sounds luxurious... All that gym and walking and reading time. I often fantasise about this but would feel too guilty if dh still had to work, ideal really would be if we could afford to both go part time

DollyDayScream · 19/01/2018 21:23

Magazines, cocktails and the gardener.

Hmm
PasstheStarmix · 19/01/2018 21:27

Women who work aren’t better than SAHM/home maker/housewife (what ever the correct title is) and vice verse. It’s a lifestyle choose due to individual circumstance. I don’t understand why anybody would judge either way.

PasstheStarmix · 19/01/2018 21:27

choice

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 19/01/2018 21:34

I am looking after my dc in the morning, when dh has gone to work and from 3.20, when I collect from school. Dh can finish work and be home anytime between 7 - 10. Often he is away overnight. So as a wohp he is not doing the same things as me, after work. By the time he gets home, dinner is made, dc bathed, homework completed etc.

I'm not claiming to be as busy as someone with a full on job, who then comes home at 5.30 and has to cook and sort the kids out because I'm not. That's part of the rationale of sah - I don't want to be that busy. The school day isn't as long as normal ft working days though, so for lots of sahp of school age dc, plenty of parenting is going on while our partners are still out.
Therefore I think sahp is still the most accurate description.

I would never use the phrase 'full time parent' to distinguish between sah and woh parent. My dh is no less a full time parent because he is at work. Everyone with a child is a full time parent.

Ethylred · 19/01/2018 21:49

Ex-SIL was a SAHM, had one child, one dog, a nanny and a dog-walker.
She's a non-writing writer. Apparently that's a full-time job.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 19/01/2018 21:53

What's your point Ethyl?

MamaImCrazyNow · 19/01/2018 21:54

I'd be bored to death. I'd also probably get quite depressed.

If for some reason I quit work tomorrow I'd spend a lot of time at the gym. I honestly can't think of anything else I'd do. The thought of it depresses me!

speakout · 19/01/2018 22:01

I think those who would be "bored to death" lack imagination frankly.

My youngest is 17- still at school and I work 15 hours a week. I have so much going on that I wake up excited.
There are still not enough hours in the day to do all I want to do. I always have lots of activities and projects going on.

StealthPolarBear · 19/01/2018 22:04

Speak out as someone who would be bored I agree. I lack self motivation etc hone.

SoupDragon · 19/01/2018 22:05

SAHMs who have school age children do not parent during the school day, like working parents.

PMSL. And yet,on every thread like this, working mothers claim they don’t stop being a mother when they’re at work so they are “full time mothers”.

SoupDragon · 19/01/2018 22:06

I consider myself an “on call mother” when my DC are at school or whatever.

speakout · 19/01/2018 22:10

SoupDragon that's true.

On call for sick children, cover for all the holidays, sports days, assemblies, heading up to school at 3pm to do the school run, charging afterwards for extra curricular activities.

Thinkingofausername1 · 19/01/2018 22:14

Hilarious @SherlocksTripleLock Grin

Walk dog
Watch film
Read mumsnet/ magazines/social media
Meet friends for coffee
Paint nails
Do whatever I feel like actually.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 19/01/2018 22:17

Yeah i was confused about that soup

The working mum bit i mean

I always jokingly said that i was like a pilot

Mostly the plane was on autopilot but in an emergency i would be there..

Except the one time there was a bit of an emergency i wasnt there Grin

StealthPolarBear · 19/01/2018 22:17

How do I get an autopilot family??

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 19/01/2018 22:20

I was very very fortunate

There were rarely any problems when they were at school

There was one time when i had to get ds2 from school as he was ill...I popped up there only to find it wasnt ds2, it was a friend of his

School mixed them up Grin

falang · 20/01/2018 06:58

I think it would depend on how many friends I had who were around during the day to meet up with. A few years ago nearly all of my friends worked full time. Now lots have either retired or gone part time. That's why I would love to be able to not work now. At the moment Weekends are usually jam packed with doing stuff, going places, etc. Never feel like I get a proper 'rest'.

Chienrouge · 20/01/2018 07:31

I find it a bit sad that someone would be bored to death away from work. Like they can’t think of anything to do except work.

BanyanTree · 20/01/2018 07:35

My DC ar at school all day and I am a SAHM and don't "have" to work, what do I do all day.

Well I....

No, hang on a minute. I don't have to explain to anyone what I do all day. I answer only to my OH about how I contribute to my family.