SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

[Fruem]

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

I have a toddler at home so I’m not really target audience but at the moment I
Do the school run
Go to a toddler group or to the park/soft play. Or sometimes just play at home.
Return home, lunch, put toddler to bed
Run around doing housework
Wake toddler up and do school run
Then have about an hour with the dc before I start doing dinner etc

I struggle with being a sahm to be honest. I do feel guilty, permanently. I enjoy having time to be more organised, and not having to clean the bathroom at 10pm after a day at work. It’s lovely being able to spend all day with my little one, and to be there for the big ones after school. But I also feel defensive all the time, I’m fully aware that aside from the looking after the toddler bit I have all day to do the things I used to cram in before and after work. I’m a bit bored and a bit lonely as I don’t know any other sahms so don’t have people to meet for coffee or go for lunch with. Life feels like constant domestic drudge really with nothing to break it up, and I don’t feel like being a sahm has any value. I would never be able to sit and read or watch tv during the toddler’s nap because I would feel too guilty, I even feel guilty buying things we need online or researching products etc

I try to combat this by trying to structure my day so that the mornings are dedicated to the toddler (and getting out as much as possible) and then using her nap time for housework. It helps a bit.

My friend was highly qualified too but it didn’t make a difference as it was all too long ago. It was current skills they were looking for. It’s not about topping up qualifications but worth keeping part of yourself within the working world. A year or two is fine it’s more when people take 5 years then expect to go in at a certain level it doesn’t happen and can be very difficult to get anything.

troika make the most of the opportunity to do something for yourself and stuff what anyone else thinks. God knows you need to claw back a bit of adulting when looking after preschoolers. Museums and the like often do toddler groups, if that's your thing, and you might meet some like-minded parents that way. Or just watch Netflix while the toddler naps nowt wrong with that!

Thanks. Yeah, I don't expect to go in high up. In fact, I expect to use my first year back in work to work for free to get my foot in the door/s. I have a bit of time yet though and will think over what you've said to see if I need to think about doing anything more.

Troika I feel similar to you and I’ve not been off a year yet; I’m finding the days so long no matter how much housework or cooking I do. You shouldn’t feel guilty for taking some time for yourself; you deserve it. I used to feel like that but I’ve learnt you're a person too and it doesn’t have to be all about your little one. If you were at work you’d get breaks and some ‘you’ time and you should at home too. You’re doing a great job of being a Mum and need some time to yourself aswell.

Don't feel guilty.

I intended to take 6 weeks off work after having my first baby.

Twenty years on I'm still not back.

I have no spare time.

My day begins at 6am. I get my two children up and then we take my 5 year old on the bus to school. I then come back home.

Between then and school pick up time I have to clean the house, do all the washing for 2 adults and 2 kids. I have to do the food shopping and cook for the lot of us. I help my husband with his work, emails, admin, pay bills.

I then collect my DD so that means I an making 4 bus trips a day. I also care for my 3 year old DS. I cook them an evening meal, read their books, and make the packed lunch for the following day.

I then put them to bed as early as possible. We co sleep because they won't sleep alone.

There are no hobbies, no down time. Barely see husband and my marriage is limping on. I cook from scratch. Take my DD to ballet.

My current life is restrictive and grueling. Don't enjoy it at all. If only there were more hours in the day but then I'd only have to fill them looking after other people.

Whatwouldkeithrichardsdo

Have you thought about a car? Would help you a lot with school runs and mean you can do bigger and fewer shops.

Cut cleaning to a minimum. Wash clothes but don't iron.
Can 5 year old have school lunches?

I cook and clean for 5 of us and run a small business from home and find I have plenty free time. Even go to the gym 3 mornings a week.

Seriously, if you're lucky enough to get some downtime, enjoy it! I certainly don't get any and would kill for some! If I'm lucky, their one nap a day will last an hour instead of 40 minutes and I can drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot. That's about as good as it gets!

@speakout

All good suggestions. Sadly, driving isn't for me. Seem to have a mental block on it. Tried several times.

I do the washing but no, I don't iron. I'm definitely not one of these people who enjoys housework.

I have no help in the home as DH is a twat. That's my issue, I suppose. 😔

Whatwouldkeithrichardsdo if your OH is being unreasonable then he gets no clothes washed or food cooked for him.

That will cut your workload a bit.

Persevere with the driving. It will transform your burden.

Unemployed!!! 😂😂😂

I prefer Trophy Wife

LMAO

Oh I’m definitely putting Trophy Wife on the next form where I have to fill in occupation!

I think we had another thread before Christmas where the op objected to women calling themselves sahms after their dcs had all started school. There were loads of suggestions for what they should call themselves instead! I like Houseperson best, (I overheard my dh calling me a Houseperson on the phone to an insurance company once. I found it quite funny. As if I never leave the house, a bit like a housecat)!

Hahaha daily houseperson!!

Isn't 'homemaker' on most applications? I like the sound of making a home! "Yes I am the home-maker, maker of homes".

I might write "slave" on my next form, with "three small dictators" as my employer.

grouchy 🤣 I loved this

Masturbate and do really long slow uninterrupted shits.

picklerick 😂 baha and apparently watch all 3 seasons of Rick and Morty 👍👍👍

I'm doing a legal type statement for my Mum and the other day she said "what should I put for you occupation?"

I said "stay at home mum" or similar.

She said "no that doesn't sound good, I need them to take you seriously and be creditable, I can't put stay at home mum."

I work from home for 20-30 hours a week so this pretty much fills school hours but if I have a moment I go to the gym, meet friends for coffee, do the supermarket shop, help at school or do housework. My work is flexible so if I get too carried away with other stuff in the day I have to catch up when my kids are in bed!

I don't seem to stop. I drop the children to school, walk dogs, clean house, do washing, prepare dinner, organise bills, boo holidays m/parties for dc/plan school holidays and then pick up children, homework, clubs, dinner, baths fills up the evening before sinking onto the sofa at 9pm.
I am not reading lots of books or managing to get to the gym that much. I don't know how ft parents manage it all

I love Rick and Morty! Counting down the days until I can be a house person. Only 920 to go wool woop

lovely God I LOVE Rick and Morty