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Original poster

SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

996 replies

Fruem · 16/01/2018 20:31

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

OP posts:
Vanessatiger · 17/01/2018 05:02

Days go quickly, my days are long from 6am to 10-11pm

BhajiAllTheWay · 17/01/2018 06:13

I'm sure I could easily fill my day up if I was at home! I'm very envious.

scaryteacher · 17/01/2018 06:28

Mark GCSEs once a year. Go to book group; host a stitching group; am going to start an English conversation group; travel with dh; schlep back to the UK for the uni/ granny run; do the tax returns; stitch; cook; cuddle the cats; sort out the house post moving; do the admin for the UK house and the letting agent; read; now we finally have the TV sorted after 3 months without it, watch Food Network...

Nerfballs · 17/01/2018 06:43

I get about 15hrs/week without kids. Two of those mornings are taken up with a job, by the time I'm home I have 20 mins for a cuppa & lunch before picking up youngest. One morning I'm at a mum's group, one morning I do food shop & housework, the remaining free day/few hours ostensibly for errands, exercise etc but often take an hour with a book or hubby instead. Rest of time with kids is manic. I do spend a fair amount of time hiding in the pantry.

MoNigheanDonn · 17/01/2018 06:45

It's not a case of not having to work, it's a case of not being able to afford to go to work.

I take ds to various groups, go walks, meet friends maybe once or twice a month. Play with ds, read when he is napping.

speakout · 17/01/2018 07:03

It's not a case of not having to work, it's a case of not being able to afford to go to work.

Absolutely.
I know many Mums who can't afford to work.

SoupDragon · 17/01/2018 07:03

If it’s not goody, why name change to ask? Confused

SoupDragon · 17/01/2018 07:03

Goady

InionEile · 17/01/2018 07:10

There are tons of people who are not in full-time work for a variety of reasons. Why focus on SAHMs? At least they have caregiving responsibilities of some kind.

There are also tons of people in office jobs just phoning it in, barely doing a tap of work, going to pointless meetings and talking crap all day (I know because I used to have a job like this...and a boss who got paid twice what I got paid and did NOTHING to earn it).

They get a pay cheque for it though so somehow we're supposed to believe it's purposeful because that is what capitalism tells us we need to do to be valid human beings.

Nanna50 · 17/01/2018 07:12

Do SAHM who say I am effectively or I feel like a single parent not realise how patronising that is to those who are single parents. It's really not the same thing.

Bowerbird5 · 17/01/2018 07:12

I found plenty to do when I was a stay at home mum. I loved it. Don't worry SAHM you have the most important, rewarding job in the world.

wysteriafloribunba · 17/01/2018 07:13

I have pre-school age dcs, so actually have very few hours 'off', as on the nursery days I have to work in the family business, do all the housework, financial admin, etc. I probably worked fewer hours when I did a 60 hour week in the City. The difference is back then everyone said 'omg you work SO hard', not 'what do you do all day' Hmm

LakieLady · 17/01/2018 07:15

Not a SAHM, but I am planning for my retirement which is 2.5 years away. My day will go like this:

Lie in bed and read
Get up, make tea, eat toast
Lie on sofa and read/watch tv/surf net
Shower and dress
Walk dog
Make tea
Lie on sofa and read/watch tv/surf net
Think about making dinner
Lie on sofa and read/watch tv/surf net
Do a little light housework or gardening, depending on weather
Make tea
Lie on sofa and read/watch tv/surf net

There will be other, optional activities such as groom dog, go shopping, get hair cut, go out for lunch etc, but never, ever more than one a day.

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that boredom is the sign of an empty mind. I don't agree with him, but I can honestly say I am hardly ever bored, and if I am, it's because I am doing something boring, not because I'm doing nothing.

Shutupanddance1 · 17/01/2018 07:21

I’m an expat SAHM - lot of people I know have maids etc but I couldn’t justify the cost while I’m at home.

My 18 mth Old DD has just started nursery 3 mornings a week so I’ve basically 12 hours to myself every week - it’s bliss!

House gets cleaned, I cook nice meals, entertain DD, I crochet and I sew (thinking of starting a small WFH business with this).. but I do get DH to do his fair share as well, he buggers off to the gym 3 nights a week so as I see it nursery time is my time Wink

Lovelymonkeyninetynine · 17/01/2018 07:23

Another one here saying that being a sahm with Pre school aged children is massively hard and a completely different thing to when they are in nursery or school!
When I had a baby and a toddler at home on my own all week and some of the weekend being told how lucky I was to be at home really used to piss me off, it was very challenging with no time for jobs or myself. Even having a couple of hours while they’re at nursery helps. I can’t imagine both being at school, it must be lovely having a few hours to yourself.

JoandMax · 17/01/2018 07:23

I’m a SAHM with school age kids and a cleaner three times a week who also does the ironing.

I spend my time reading, socializing, cooking classes, help at school and on PTA, some volunteering with an animal shelter.

I don’t get bored, we have a great life and it works for us all

Dalg · 17/01/2018 07:26

Open University courses, a couple of hours voluntary work, housework, shopping, watching telly.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 17/01/2018 07:27

Not a SAHM any more but when I was.....

Volunteered in school two to three times a week; catechism for local church; on cleaning rota for church; took minutes for parish council; organised fundraising quizzes for PTA and church; met friends for coffee/lunch; exercised. When children were younger I ran a mum and toddler group.

Went back to work when youngest was 11 and I am much less busy now that I have gone back to work!

splendide · 17/01/2018 07:28

God it sounds like heaven.

This will be DH once our DS starts school. I’m not sure how I’ll deal with the envy tbh.

Tumbleweed101 · 17/01/2018 07:29

I work full time now but was a sahm for a while when my children were little. Mostly the day is spent trying to amuse the children while doing all the day to day chores. No time to yourself til they’re in bed.

However for three weeks between my youngest starting school and me starting full time work I loved it, however you quickly realise how short that window of time is between them going and getting home again! I mostly worked on my novel, met some friends and did housework during that time (was winter). I have a day off in the week now and that it either spent blitz cleaning if the house is annoying me by being untidy or chilling out enjoying the only ‘me time’ I get as a single parent.

mrsreynolds · 17/01/2018 07:30

Planning world domination

NataliaOsipova · 17/01/2018 07:30

If it’s not goody, why name change to ask? confused

My thoughts exactly! "Do you not feel guilty being a SAHM?" is an inherently goady question. It's a bit like my asking a WOHM, "Don't you feel guilty that you don't get to pick up your kids at the end of the school day and they have to go to after school club? Genuinely curious.". It's an obviously loaded question.....

SandyInBourne · 17/01/2018 07:33

I'm a stay at home to an 8 week old baby.

At around 10.30am, we both wake him.

I shower, bath DC.

Then I clean upstairs. We then go down for breakfast. I clean the kitchen whilst doing breakfast/finish it off after breakfast. Then I clean the lounge.

I never commit to anything before 12.30pm because myself and DC are never up in time for anything Blush

splendide · 17/01/2018 07:34

I missed the asking if you feel guilty - that’s very goady yes.

BillywigSting · 17/01/2018 07:37

Ds goes to school nursery five days a week for three hours, but it's closer to 2.5 hours of child free time that I can actually do anything with by the time I've either got home or to the village.

So in the morning I bum about drinking coffee until dp leaves for work at half seven, I make his lunch and get ds breakfast then too.

When dp leaves, I have breakfast, get showered and ready and load the washing machine.

Play with ds for a bit, cars or crafts or baking.

Then ds needs lunch by half 11 at the latest, leave for school at 12.

I get back home for about 12:40, get a bit of housework done, sometimes a bit of food shopping, or reading, or pottering.

Leave to collect ds at three. Get home for quarter to four, sort him a snack, get him changed, start dinner.

Dinner ready for five ish when dp comes home, eaten by six, bath/playtime for ds then bed at seven.

Rest of the evening is ours to with what we wish.

It's really not a difficult life. It was harder when ds was younger and I imagine it will be even easier when he goes full time in September.

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