SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

[Fruem]

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

Why would anyone feel guilty? What a bizarre (and yes, goads question). What is there to feel guilty for?

I work now, but when I was a SAHM most days went something like this:

Get dd up and ready for school and walk her there for 9 am.
Walk back home again, put the kettle on and broke the internet for a bit.
Wash-up, make beds, clean a couple of rooms, iron something, look at the internet a bit more etc.
Make and eat lunch while watching loose women.
Maybe pop to the supermarket, town, bank, meet a friend for coffee,
Hang washing out, bring it in, do some gardening, decorating,
Take photos for eBay,
list eBay stuff,
Bake, cook dinner,
3.15pm- time to go pick dd up,
walk home or take her to ballet/swimming classes,
play, read, do homework, go to the park, etc.
Finish cooking dinner at eat at 5.30 pm

I also volunteered in DDs school a couple of afternoons a week.
Honestly, time flies when you don't have to work.

Kids have all flown the coop. I get up at 6 with my husband, when he's gone to work I tidy round, throw on my trainers and go get some exercise, come back, shower then visit my friend and her husband who are housebound due to a nasty accident, help where I can. Read, faff for a while and then cook dinner. Today is taken up sitting around waiting on gas and Sky engineers ugh.

And no I don't feel in the slightest bit guilty.

I look after ds alone for most of the day. Do all of the housework, cooking cleaning (and gardening in the summer) dp does not do a jot except putting dirty plates in the sink and dirty laundry in the washing basket.

He goes out to work five days a week.

Neither of us would be able to do what we do without the other.

If /when I go back to work, dps work hours will have to change and he will have to do a bit more house stuff/childcare.

My in work hours will increase and I will do a bit less house stuff/childcare.

But he earns a lot more than I ever will (stem graduate vs chef) so we would be worse off atm if I was working.

I can honestly say I am hardly ever bored, and if I am, it's because I am doing something boring, not because I'm doing nothing.

Exactly this.

I'm having a bit of time off between jobs (and because I burned out completely last year). So I have one child 2 days a week but the other three she's in nursery. I have a school age child too. I have an other half who can do the school run etc too as this is what he was doing before I finished work.

I am exercising, losing weight, reading many novels, decorating the house, and if it was the summer I'd be gardening. I am saying yes to all social invites and making far more of an effort with the children (baking, ice skating, museums, swimming etc rather than "please entertain yourself with this pile of toys mummy is broken after night shifts"). I cook delicious food every night and have been to the cinema a few times. I do loads more housework than usual.

Sometimes I nap!

Sadly I'm the breadwinner so this state of affairs cannot last! Back to work in Feb, I've asked for reduced hours as I was running myself into the ground.

Sometimes I envy mums who can stay at home, but I also get a lot out of work, and we earn more (though when I had 2 in nursery it was pretty negligible).

I work now but was a SAHM until the kids started high school, both my dd’s have sn’s so I couldn’t hold down a job due to meetings and appointments, oh and school phoning me often to pick dd2 up. I did find it boring, even more so in the winter, in the summer I would walk, run and visit places, in the winter I would go to the gym every day and do things around the house, there’s always diy that needs doing as well as house work and gardening. I now work part time but find my time off a bit lonely and sometimes boring but there’s usually things to do.

As my husband earns more in 1 hour than I could earn in 1 day it makes financial sense for me to be at home and doing all the home stuff it means when he gets home he can relax and we get lots of time together....

I have 3 dc, 2 at high school, 1 at primary. Most days are: up, breakfasts, make lunches, get take youngest to school. Then run/ walk with dog, then 2 hours OU studying, lunch, walk dog, housework, pick up youngest, homework/ after school activities, make dinner, more ferrying to activities, ironing, bed.
We moved 200 miles several years ago for Dh job. As he got promoted I was able to leave the career I had once loved but now loathe. But his promotion came with travel, from 1 or 2 day trips to 3 or 4 weeks, which he cou ldn't do if I worked as we have no family here and my job involved night shifts. I am studying, should finish when youngest starts high school, so will hopefully have a new career at some point.
I don't feel guilty, we made a choice that worked for us both and for our children. Whatever people do all day doesn't matter! The only ones who need to be happy with it are the people involved. I am not lazy, I work hard and my mental health is in a much better place.

Nothing useful to add, just reading with envy, I'd truly love to be a sham if I could afford it. You lot are living my dream. And no, I wouldn't be bored/unfilled either, life is far to interesting for that.

I mostly potter about. I do work part time, but less than 20 hrs a week so can't really class myself as wohm. I get dd ready for school, make sure dh has sandwiches, walk her to school. Come home, do some ironing, tidy a room, do a bit of Marie Kondo, start preparing tea (dd is usually starving when she gets in so I give her an early tea at 4.30), run the Hoover around, wash up the dishes. On a lazy day I might sit down and catch up with some tv I've recorded.
My reasons for being a (mostly) sahm is that if I worked ft the bulk of my wages would go on childcare. Once my dd is at secondary school I hope to be able to contribute more financially as hopefully her independence will allow me to work ft.

My youngest is 17 years old.

I work 15-20 hours a week.

Bliss.

Often when my son is at nursery in the mornings I drink a hot cup of tea and watch Frasier. But I won’t today because I have a structural surveyor coming over and my house looks a bit like a crack den.

I
Iron
Clean
Cook
Wash
Food shop
Drink coffee
Walk the dog
Exercise
Read
And do not feel in the least bit guilty

I have a 3 and 2 year old, once they start school I think I'll be a bit lonely! My life revolves around them!

I think that's a really sad comment, have you honestly not got any interests/hobbies that you would like to do?

And no, I never felt 'guilty' as a SAHM, why should I? And to whoever asked if my DH has the same amount of 'me time' when he wasn't working - he would always get time to himself as he wanted - sport, golf, whatever; ironically he is far more into 'family time' than me and loves nothing more than doing things with our DS at the weekends giving me more free time .

But equally I would never get into the rows you see on Mumsnet about who does the most housework etc - he is driving home from Scotland tonight (we live in the South) - no way would I expect him to come in and cook the dinner and do the football run it. if that makes me 50s housewife, so be it (actually I was born in the late 50s ).

Did you just join MN to ask this OP? Or did you NC?

As someone who was a sahm when my children were small I am reading this with great envy. I work ft, have lunch at my desk, sometimes do work at home. The thought of being able to choose what you and when you do it during the day must be lovely. Roll on retirement.

It's probably a lot easier to find stuff to do nowadays than probably even 20 years ago, when I think of all the hours wasted spent faffing on the internet, browsing online shopping, MNing etc. Also there is much more TV in the form of Netflix, Sky Box sets etc. Many more coffee shops to meet in and places to lunch. My DM was a mainly SAHM and even when we were in our teens and older very little time was spent by her faffing, this was in the 70's.

Surprised at the number of people who say meet with friends... maybe it depends on the ages of your kids but my friends have mostly gone back to (office based) work -whether full or-part time.

I work part time from home, and I have to make a real effort to see other adults, let alone friends ...I find I can easily spend a week with mainly DH as adult company. It can be very isolating.

This NY my intention is to claw back some of this time for me. Between my work and managing the house I realised I have not been good at looking after myself. I admire people who freely use the time kids are at school to exercise and do their own thing.

God I'm so jealous reading this thread.

Surprised at the number of people who say meet with friends... maybe it depends on the ages of your kids but my friends have mostly gone back to (office based) work -whether full or-part time

My friends are all working too so I rarely meet up with anyone socially during the week.

Ds is only in school until 1 but I frantically clean the house, sort the animals, do laundry, sort gardens (in summer).

yerroblemum I think it's worth reminding oneself that not spending money on childcare is a significant financial contribution. Childminding/Nursery fees adds up quickly especially when you have more than one child.

I have no problem filling the day, school days are short.

I walk the dog for 1.5-2 hours and go to the gym for an hour and a half. I shop for food, prepare meals, tidy and clean, sort out large piles of washing, sort through cupboards, go to the tip/bank/post office/hairdresser/massage therapist/dentist/Dr when needed. I have lunch with a friend once a week. I surf the net, read and send e-mails, plan holidays, book tickets for trips and treats.

I read news articles and research things I’m interested in. I meet up with my brother for walks and gym sessions. I study.

Pretty much the only thing I never do in the daytime is watch TV!

I appreciate that most the things I’ve listed are things that working people have to squeeze into their evenings and weekends. So I do the same sort of stuff as everyone else, I just have longer to do it. I feel incredibly lucky.

I’m not actually a SAHM, I work full time. If I were a SAHM with school age kids then I can imagine it would be very easy to fill 6 hours each day keeping on top of housework, food shopping, cooking etc, etc. Except for the odd trip to the gym and maybe the odd coffee with friends I don’t think SAHPs would have an abundance of free time.