To be fuming with in laws over this gift...

[GobsmackedAndAngry]

Have name changed as this is very outing!

Ok let me give a bit of background...

In laws are very much - oh look how much I've spent on presents... (usually it's all tat and useless stuff we will never use!)

I've always been - let's get thoughtful and meaningful gifts and spend what we can afford.

At Christmas last year (2016) we were fairly tight on money over Christmas and got everyone 2 really thoughtful gifts but they didn't cost a lot (we probably spent between £15 and £20 per person).

MIL was so upset that we'd only spent XYZ (she guessed a random number) on her that FIL phoned up and moaned at DH who was quite rightly devastated - he'd been suffering depression at the time too so was really low about it.

This Christmas we got her a few bits through the year and she had a good collection of stuff and we had been planning something for her 60th birthday that would have cost us £150.

It's DH's 30th Birthday today and in laws have bought him some cheap gym clothes (with the price labels still on) and sweets.

I'm gobsmacked.
Birthdays are important to me and always have been and given that this is an important one and I wouldn't normally be so angry but given all the fuss they've made over MILs gifts in the past - aibu that I'm just shocked and furious?

DH is tying to be positive about it.
I know he's disappointed but he doesn't want to upset his parents.

I see the OP’s point. If the in-laws were so obsessed with the value of what they got, to then give cheap shit to their ds is either a passive aggressive move, or a blatant in yer face move! Either way, OP, I would lead the way with either telling them the max spend is now £15 from next birthday or buying the tackiest most hilarious crap you can and do joke presents only.

For goodness sakes, i couldn't care if they got him a pair of socks...

it's the point that in laws made such a fuss about their presents and then did something like this - they have the double standards and im shocked by their obvious thoughtless-ness.
He'd have loved a donation to his favourite charity, that would have been thoughtful.

He has absolutely piles and piles of gym clothes - waaaaaay too many and everyone knows this.

Well did he tell them he wanted a donation to charity? I wouldn't think to give anyone that unless they told me. And they did put thought into it. You just don't think they did.

it's amazing what ill feeling presents seem to create. Best to agree small things in future ?

Ok, I'm getting I may be over reacting.
I'm not going to be saying anything, I will just leave DH to do the presents in future.

30 is a big birthday to us btw.

You all sound like you have far too much time on your hands really.

I don’t but thoughtful gifts I buy things that are pretty standard like perfume and what I can afford. It was my birthday last week. My elderly parents forgot dh cooked me a special dinner and my dss brought me gin. My girls did breakfast in bed.

Do adults really care about birthdays? Move on.

If he has waaaayy too many gym clothes, that would suggest to me that's where his passion lies and a few more would be very welcome to him!

FFS, who are these parents who complain about how much presents their adult children give them cost? That's arsehole behaviour.

Suggest you refrain from exchanging any more gifts.

The only big birthdays are 10, double figures and 18, adult and 100, pretty special. 30/40/50 na who cares

21 is a big birthday in our house, (to add to Heart list), 30 well, not so much tbh.

He'd have loved a donation to his favourite charity, that would have been thoughtful.
That would have been a nice gift,but if you were both so hard up only last year that you couldn't afford to buy his own parents a decent gift (their perception) Then I don't think they would be considering a charity gift as appropriate. Unless you are living with them or mil is round frequently doing your laundry, how would they know he had too many gym clothes. I think you should let this go and try and get on with them best you can. Take it from someone who truly has 20 years experience of tat from their mil...

I'm with you op, it's not the value it's the thought. If they had spent next to nothing but bought something really thoughtful then I doubt there would be an issue, it's the fact that it's cheap AND thoughtless.

30 is a big birthday in my eyes, and I would certainly expect dh to receive something more thoughtful than gym clothes.

Op, what did you give him?

@GobsmackedAndAngry you come across as a spoilt brat

I just want to leave it all up to DH in future and keep well away

Do that! There's no need for you to be getting upset or involved, or dealing with your FIL because he's being a rude prick. I buy for my family and my husband buys for his. I can't get my head around what birthdays they see as important / that nobody minds getting the same presents for Christmas every year, and he doesn't get my family's more ad hoc way of doing things. And that's fine.

For lots of people an unasked for donation to charity is what you get for a person you dislike but have to get a present for. It's a passive aggressive 'fuck you' disguised as an oxfam goat.
So I can see why his parents didn't think of that

It's my 40th soon. I will be fuming if someone decided to donate to charity rather than buy me gym gear lol

through yes 21 makes the list

through yes 21 makes the list

It's my 40th soon. I will be fuming if someone decided to donate to charity rather than buy me gym gear lol

It's my 40th soon. I will be fuming if someone decided to donate to charity rather than buy me gym gear lol

It's my 40th soon. I will be fuming if someone decided to donate to charity rather than buy me gym gear lol

Yabu and you all sound as bad as each other!

I didn't know your a 30th was a 'big deal and special' I thought it was- 18th, 21st, 40th. 60th, 100rd. Don't know why?