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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being bloody annoyed with OH for falling asleep while looking after 8 year old DD

103 replies

Malteser73 · 14/01/2018 19:59

So I took our 5 year old to a birthday party this afternoon. OH said he would get tea ready for 5pm. I get home at 5 to find him asleep on the sofa with tea not prepared and DD saying she’s hungry. I exploded, calling him an irresponsible parent. Am I overreacting? I realise DD is old enough to fetch herself a snack if she was starving but even so? Just wondering what you all think, thanks x

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 14/01/2018 20:07

Overreaction

LizzieSiddal · 14/01/2018 20:08

If she was 3, you’d have a point. But she’s 8 and perfectly capable of getting a snack or waking him up.

Glumglowworm · 14/01/2018 20:10

YABU

Yes it’s irritating that he didn’t start dinner like he said he would but it’s not a big deal.

She’s eight years old! She should be perfectly capable of getting a snack if she’s hungry and waking her dad up if she needs him. If she’s not then work on her independence skills as a priority.

maddiemookins16mum · 14/01/2018 20:10

How long had he dropped off? Nobody is perfect!! Has he had a horrendous week at work or is he hungover (awaits dripfeed). It's really not the end of the world surely?

Pengggwn · 14/01/2018 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Allthewaves · 14/01/2018 20:12

Are you annoyed because he was supposed to make tea for everyone or that he didn't make dd something. The first I'd be annoyed if I came in expecting my tea ready then second is bit ott

BubblesBubblesBubbles · 14/01/2018 20:12

Yes massive over reaction.

I’d be annoyed about tea but would tell dh to get a bloody takeaway ordered or send him down the chippy!!

I’ve nodded off on the sofa and dc1 (6) has woken me up.

Hardly the parenting crime of the year.

Spurtle · 14/01/2018 20:12

My kids are 7 and 10 and are quite regularly up an hour or so before me at the weekends. I’m here if they need me though. I’m. It sure I see the issue. What did you think would happen?

maddiemookins16mum · 14/01/2018 20:13

And now is a great time to stop your children being waited on hand and foot...surely there are bananas or apples in a bowl to hand? Or a carton of milk they can pour to starve off said hunger.

theSnuffster · 14/01/2018 20:16

I might be annoyed that dinner wasn't started when he said he would do it, but not at all bothered that he had been asleep with an 8 year old in the house. My 8 year old (and my 5 year old) are able to get themselves snacks and drinks, and would wake me or their Dad if needed.

Liara · 14/01/2018 20:21

What exactly was it that made you explode?

Maybe83 · 14/01/2018 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

addler · 14/01/2018 20:23

I think my reaction would have been to wake him up, ask if he was feeling ill or was he just a bit tired, then provided he's not sick tell him to make a start on dinner.

Nicknacky · 14/01/2018 20:23

What's irresponsible about having a nap?!

BertrandRussell · 14/01/2018 20:23

What were you angry about?

ChoudeBruxelles · 14/01/2018 20:23

Yabu. I’d be annoyed that tea wasn’t made but not because he was looking after 8 year old dc and fell asleep. Maybe he was really tired

BrendaUmbrella · 14/01/2018 20:26

MN parallel world where women are unreasonable for expecting their "poor bloke" husbands to act like adults, and where children are unreasonable for not making their own dinner. Okay...

FlashTheSloth · 14/01/2018 20:27

I'd be annoyed about coming hom at tea time to no tea prepared, but falling asleep in charge of an 8 year old! No way! They are old enough to wake an adult if they need to. They really don't need constant supervising at that age.

deadringer · 14/01/2018 20:27

Yabu.

Tipsntoes · 14/01/2018 20:27

Oh dear, can you imagine a man raging because dinner wasn't on the table when he got home?

"Tea" suggests something quick and simple to me, so no big deal there as long as he did it when you got in. If it was proper cooking, yes annoying that he hadn't done what was agreed.

Neglectful parenting? No.

Nicknacky · 14/01/2018 20:28

No one has said the kid has to make her own dinner. But Christ I would have lost my kids years ago if having a nap made me irresponsible! And no way would my h get away with exploding and calling me that.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/01/2018 20:28

Massive over reaction.

8 year olds don’t need constant supervision, he WAS looking after her perfectly adequately, he fell asleep, he didn’t leave her home alone for the afternoon & go down the pub.

An 8 YO being hungry at tea time...gosh, that’s simply dreadful Hmm.

LunchBoxPolice · 14/01/2018 20:28

Going to go against the grain here but he sounds lazy. Why was he asleep? Is he ill? Yeah an 8 year old could get herself a snack but why should she, her parent should be doing that for her.

Tipsntoes · 14/01/2018 20:29

No-one's suggesting that DD should have got her own dinner, but that she could have got a snack or woken her father if she needed to. Dinner/Tea was always planned for after OP got home.

Notreallyarsed · 14/01/2018 20:29

MN parallel world where women are unreasonable for expecting their "poor bloke" husbands to act like adults, and where children are unreasonable for not making their own dinner. Okay...

Nobody suggested the bairn make her own meal but she could have had a snack if she was that hungry. But to explode and call him irresponsible? That’s a ridiculous overreaction.

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