Aibu with mil

[Feb2018mumma]

Cutting this story super short becuase it could be an essay...

Last week I went round to mil for dinner and heard her talking about me in the kitchen to my FIL. How I'm ungrateful and obviously don't like her ect.

I go to her house 3 times a week, I'm heavily pregnant, I work full time and I am at uni so as you can imagine I was shocked that she thought I didn't like her when I spend all my free time with her.

I didn't want an argument or to stress my unborn baby so just drove off.

Next day she came round saying we needed to put it behind us... no apology... long story short I said I wasn't ready, she shouted and I ended up having midwife and community midwife becuase had panic attack and baby stopped moving.

DH said I need to let it go. She eventually came and said sorry if I heard anything... not sorry she said it but sorry if I heard and dh thought that meant she was amazing.

I said I forgave her but Midwofe told me to stay away for a bit as not worth stress on myself this late on in pregnancy. Dh doesn't understand why I won't see her... I arranged will see her next week for a meal but just want time off to try process everything and keep relaxed... he hasn't spoke to me in 2 days now apart from grunts, feel like my marriage is over.

When we were fallen out mil text dh constantly saying she was depressed and when he went to see her she was saying she couldnt move she was so depressed becuase I won't let her see her grandaughter... who isn't even born yet and I havent said a word about with holding my unborn child.

I feel like she has emotionally black mailed him and he now blames me! All I did was hear someone talk about me and leave? Any advice to fix my life and marriage in the next 2 weeks before i give birth would be great!!!!!!

i agree with a lot lostinthe is saying. some of you just want to see to cause arguments or encourage the poster to do that. She is your MIL, and not necessarily a best friend.

Your daughter will want to (or should want to unless they are abusive) a relationship with their grandparents as they grow up. for the sake of family unity you sometimes have to bite your tongue. you are probably feeling very hormonal at the moment. dont cause ww3 over things that arent significant in the scheme of things

OP, you haven't mentioned your own parents at all. What's the situation there?

Your DH needs to stand up for you and not his mother. She sounds like a nightmare and you and your DH need to set boundaries and make sure she realises this time is about you, your DH and your soon to be new family, NOT HER. She needs to get a grip. Even if you don't like her who cares, theres plenty of MIL and DIL's that do not like each other myself included. My MIL no longer sees me, my DP or our DD due to her own selfish behaviour, and refusal to apologise, and it's been nothing but peace and quiet since! Your midwife is right and you should probably stay away from her for a bit. Congratulations on your pregnancy

For people asking about my parents, my mum lives 2 hours away and I see her about once a month. I'm registered disabled through a chronic illness that's hereditary, my mum has it too, so even though I love her we just don't have the ability to manage the joureny to see each other that often, driving is difficult with our bad legs and hands and energy means even if someone else drove we are quite worn down from the long car ride.

That sounds difficult. Your MIL could prove really helpful to you when you have the baby even just with practical tasks, lifts and so on? Hopefully you can salvage your relationship with her on some level.

Ah, I understand, it's the same situation with me and my mum.

Have you spoken to your mum about this?

Sorry to hear you are married to a spineless mummy's boy and a manipulative snake of a mil. My sympathies. But don't give in