...to ask how you decide how much board to charge adult DC

[5foot5]

Not so much an AIBU as a query to other parents with adult DC about how you decided on a reasonable amount for them to contribute in "board".

DD (22) will soon be starting her first proper job. She has had various part-time and temporary things in the past but will soon be starting a real, full-time job with a decent salary. Although she hasn't restricted her search to the local area it just so happens that this job is quite close so she can live at home. That's great - we all get on well and it is lovely to have her here.

She has said (completely unprompted by us) that when she starts work she wants to start making a financial contribution for her keep. I think that is a good idea for all sorts of reasons, even though we don't exactly need the money, however I don't know how we decide on an amount.

I don't want to suggest something too small in case she feels patronised but, at the same time, we are her parents not her landlords so I don't want to be making money out of her. As a student she lived away in a different city so she is used to being independent and paying her way but I feel that living at home ought to be cheaper than being in your own place so she has the opportunity to save up for other things.

She does contribute to the household in other ways, i.e. she doesn't sit about expecting to be waited on but will muck in with housework, laundry, cooking etc.

So could I ask how some of you approached this issue with your own adult, working DC?

OP's daughter sounds lovely; some of my colleagues have been in her position, and all have charged rent. As one put it, that means she is treating her son like an adult - he pays rent, and she doesn't nag about saving. Also, even if someone is earning the minimum wage, that's a high disposable income if rent and board are provided free - a higher disposable income than most of us who earn more have. My colleague didn't want her son to get used to a lifestyle that she couldn't afford!

Dont charge a %- that isn't how life works.

Either nothing or work out an amount with a clear rationale why.

I don't charge mine anything- they put £200 a month each into a house buying isa, they contribute to the household jobs (1 sees jobs, the other doesn't but responds well to prompts) and buy some food for themselves aka junk/take away from time to time.

I don't check that they put it in (but I know that they have as 1 is very proud of her savings!)

When my son started earning money I asked for £200 a month he would be earning around £1000 a month with the potential to earn around £400 extra on commission.

With him working I lost WFTC, child benefit and maintenance from his dad. The £200 didn’t cover my losses.

He went mental, accused me of ripping him off and making money from him.

For the record he has all his meals cooked, clothes washed and never lifted a finger to do any chores.

He moved out into a house share.

He has lost his job and is about to be evicted for not paying his rent.

I live with my parents, as well as my children, and I am on benefits due to I'll health. I pay £100 per week as that is approximately what the council pay in HB for 2 bedrooms so must be around the average rent in the area. I wouldnt be able to afford much more, and i pitch in with food bills etc. I also pay the virgin media bill myself for the entire house.

I would charge her what she costs, (share of bills, telephone, food etc)

I would neot charge her a rent component, I would ask her to put some into a bank account if possible to use as a deposit.

I should add, my parents arent rich either and i know my rent does go on household expenses. I wish i could contribute more but living with them means i cant claim housing benefit or a premium on my esa so my income is lower than when i had my own place.

Me and my stepsiblings paid £70 a month as we ate their food too!

@CuriousaboutSamphire
I really think buying - not necessarily a house but property - is a good idea because the way things are going there will be no state pension and property with no mortgage at an older age is a good fall back.

ADay So you will be one giving your adult kid/s a home for free for a very long time, I would assume.

That's your choice, but another would be to accept that rental is the reality for lots of people, and savings, pension etc. Having spent almost my entire life in rentals, most of my family still live in rentals, 20 - 80+ year olds, I just don't have the apparent MN aversion to it!

Single parent, two dependent kids and one adult duaghter living at home still. She contributes as it's fair, I need the money and she has more disposable income than me. Her being here increases CTax by £50 pcm, my bills are I pay £90 elec/gas, £30 water, £25 wifi, £13 TV licence, contents ins £25. She contributes £200, it doesn't increase with her wages as it reflects my costs not her income. I buy laundry stuff, loo rolls, cleaning stuff etc. Bear all the costs for new hoovers, irons, kitchen equipment etc. She buys most of her own food as she prefers to sort herself out although I do include her in family meals if she wants. Plus her BF stays over and they like to cook and eat together.

She's happy with that and so am I. She saves too, runs a car and has more holidays than me.

When she moves out I can downsize to a 3 bed house. Her living here means I can't move yet and her sister has a box room whereas the one paying board and lodging has a huge double room. Again fair.

Nothing because not a monster

Just read your full OP. Sorry. You sound brilliant as does she.

ZOMBIE