To think it's odd that dh lied about this?

[Pinkwintersocks]

I probably am bu here. Sorry if I ramble on but I want to give context. It's about something that's none of my business, but I can't understand why my dh lied so that's what's puzzling me.

Dh works for a very small company, maybe 15 employees. He works alone a lot but when he sees his work colleagues he usually comes home and tells me all the gossip, so to speak. If there's a new employee dh always tells me about them if they're married, if they've got kids, i never ask, but dh just tells me, I suppose doing the type of job he does it's just something to talk about., but he even tells me personal things about colleagues that they've told him.

Anyway we were discussing holidays and dh mentioned that one workmate, I'll call him Fred, has been taking a lot of unpaid leave, dh commented how this guy can afford it because he lives in a caravan. Now I know, because dh told me before, that this man Fred was married with 3 dc and had a really nice house (dh told me all this), so I asked if Fred was living in the caravan with his family and dh said yes and how they wanted to save money and live and outdoor lifestyle etc. I didn't think anything of it.

Anyway, just by chance and being a small world it turned out that I know someone who knows this guy Fred. A friend of mine was telling me ages ago about their brother who'd split up with his wife and was living in a caravan with his new girlfriend. It was only later they said his name and I realised Fred was their brother, and works with dh.

So, next time dh said he was working with Fred he was going to have to meet him to vehicle share, I just asked if Fred was still living in the caravan, dh said yes he loves it, I said "Fred lives with his new girlfriend now doesn't he", dh said no what gave you that idea? So I told him that I knew someone that knew Fred and how he was divorcing.

Dh then said how Fred had split up from his wife, but they'd got back together (this isn't true either).

I know none of it is any of my business but I can't understand why dh made a point of lying.

Has he lied or has Fred lied to his workmates perhaps?

Maybe your DH doesn't know Fred that well?

Maybe Fred hasn’t told his work colleagues the whole story.

I find it odd that your first reaction is your dh is lying though.

Maybe he isn't lying. Maybe Fred has led them all too believe it.

Could it be that Fred has lied to your DH?

Because it does sound like your DH just isn't up to date with the story.

Quite easy to believe that Fred doesn't want to go into all the gory details of his personal life with work mates.

Fred has probably lied.

I'm not sure because when dh initially said Fred lived in a caravan he said Fred had moved with his family, wife and kids. But when I told dh that I knew Fred was divorcing, suddenly dh did know that they were divorcing, but they'd got back together.

I outright asked dh if Fred was divorcing and dh said no and looked confused, he only let on he knew when I said that I knew too.

WTF? Why assume DH is lying?

Fred is hardly going to be like "hey guys fyi i dumped my wife and kids to live in a caravan with my mistress LOL good times!"

Dunno why your husband would lie. Sounds more likely Fred may have lied to his workmates for whatever reason.

Obviously Fred lied , not your dh.

I think your DH is a gossip, Fred knows so hasn't told him the whole truth

Maybe the person you know has got the wrong Fred.

Maybe the person you know has just got it wrong.

Maybe your DH is having an affair with Fred.

Dh did know that Fred was divorcing, but only let on when i said I knew anyway.

It's definitely the right Fred.

Hoping dh is having an affair with Fred

Your DH is obviously having an affair with Fred's ex wife... he's lying to protect himself.

jk

Your DH only knows half the story and has "made up" the rest.
You seem very overinvested in Fred!

Maybe Fred's telling different stories to different people?

Oh who cares! Maybe he doesn’t care either and is trying to humour you. Don’t you have better things to grill your dh about?

I think the most obvious thing would be that either Fred hasn't told the whole story, or that the dh got confused or that the other person you spoke to was lied to or got confused.

Unless dh has lied about other random things and this worries you?

Maybe, just maybe, your DH thinks you might have told someone else about Fred's situation and that it would get back to Fred that he'd been gossiping about Fred and his situation, so he was trying to cover his tracks, realising that he'd let sensitive information out to you by accident.

Of course what he should have done, if my surmise is correct, is to say "but FGS don't TELL anyone, no one's meant to know what's going on" - but if he feared you were a bit of a gossip too (like himself) then that might not work.

It's only once he realised you already knew the situation from someone else ( so he can't take the fall for it if you do talk about it) that he could say you were right in what you knew.

That would be my take on it.

Maybe he's lying because you gossip with people about his employees lives and relationships?

Ask him straight then.

'Why did you lie to me about Fred divorcing until I said I knew? What difference does it make?'

One reason could be that Fred has asked people to keep it to themselves, your DHs clumsy way of doing this is to invent the 'moved with wife and kids' tale.

But you at he volunteered the info about the caravan so that doesn't really make sense.

Ask him why something so trivial is worth lying about?

Maybe as an employer, he's respecting any personal information told to him by Fred (change of address including the circumstances of that change) as a HR issue. Which means not disclosing to his wife.

My DP very often gets told about his employees health issues or personal issues if they need to be discussed in the context of their employment. I have met lots of these people too and it's important that their privacy is respected. If he had an employee that was getting divorced, there's no reason I'd need to know.

Haha, I know.

It's just that when I said I knew that Fred was divorcing, it turned out that dh did know after all and even knew the price they'd sold the house for.

But ye, getting over invested in Fred. Dh usually tells me everything from colleagues debt troubles to what they've had for dinner and where they bought it from