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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what my friend should reply to this?

144 replies

nornironlady · 11/01/2018 11:16

I really am posting for a friend. She has met a guy on a well known online dating app. A real hunk, almost too good to be true. He lives in another country. I'm going to copy some of his first email as she is at a loss as to what to say in response. I thought if any Mumsnetter's were around this morning you might want to help. Here goes, it sounds like a CV.....
When i am in a Relationship, I do not go to sleep angry it doesn't matter who is right, all that matters is that we go to sleep with love in our hearts. I was taught to respect all young or old. I don't gossip about people it is not my place to judge them. I believe that what a person gives comes back tenfold to them. I am very confident at where I am in my life. I am open, kind, giving, responsible, happy, cheerful person. I don't like when someone plays head games and wastes my time. I do not have enough time left on this earth to waste on disrespectful people. I have been hurt too many times. I am looking for a serious relationship not,interested in a casual one. I want to find that special woman and be her husband and focus on giving her all my love and focus on giving her the love she deserves. I hope, someday we'll meet and fall in love. I just want to meet that special someone that I can be happy and in love with unconditionally, someone that will app and can't wait to come home to me.
Someone that I can love to the fullest for the rest of our lifes together. someone that is my Best Friend and my Lover. True love is finding your missing half. to find true love is worth the wait. I was taught the best things in life are worth waiting for, I don't seek outside comfort. I believe if there is a problem then it is best to talk it thru. I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I need no more than what pleases us both. When I am with someone I have eyes for no other. I like things to be decided ahead of time and I don't like when people cannot make up their mind. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I was taught never accept something half done or done the fastest way. I was taught to do it right and to do my best the first time. ...
I am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident with myself and where I am in life, I believe we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. i hope this tell you more about me and what i am looking for, i am looking forward to hear from you,
What would you say to this?

OP posts:
MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 11/01/2018 13:26

“I totally understand, you sound like you know just how to give all of yourself to a situation. I really think we would be very well suited because you are so loyal and giving and with me being an heiress I naturally love to give.”

Slanetylor · 11/01/2018 13:33

Yeah, NO.
I suppose some men do write like this but since she can't meet him for a drink to see if he's really that self absorbed ( without presumably sending him money for a ticket so ha can come and sex her) is ignore and delete.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/01/2018 13:38

Ok it’s obvious he’s not genuine. How about asking him to post some pictures of himself when he was younger? He’s not going to be able to is he? It could be funny to see how he wriggles out of this one. Perhaps his photos were lost on the removal truck from Nigeria, poor love.

“Oh you are making me blush with your romantic words. I’d like to know you better. Do you have any photos of when you were younger to send me?”

ILookedintheWater · 11/01/2018 13:38

I am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident with myself and where I am in life, I believe we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. i hope this tell you more about me and what i am looking for, i am looking forward to hear from you,
Response:
'I too am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you when you say that you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I will have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident that we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. I think we should meet. Soon. Life is too short to waste a moment. Come to me.'
Then block.

PoorYorick · 11/01/2018 13:42

Why is she even responding to someone who lives abroad?

Lizzie48 · 11/01/2018 13:48

Definitely a scammer. I wouldn't even bother reading that drivel. Grin

BeeFarseer · 11/01/2018 13:51

I think half of that has been cut and pasted from the absolute drivel some of my relatives share on Facebook. Put a minion behind it.

emma8t4 · 11/01/2018 13:56

Google search his image and see what pops up, I bet a link to a forum full of people who have been catfished using the same image and a link to the real person....which you can reply to his email with.

My mum had this happen to her.

user1495222250 · 11/01/2018 14:09

That's a lot of personal info to pour out to someone you don't know! The line I found most disturbing was 'I also have certain ways to be intimate.' It all sounds very odd and, if it were me that had received it, I certainly wouldn't respond. I don't think your friend should either. Chalk it up to experience and keep on looking.

LightDrizzle · 11/01/2018 14:16

Definitely a cut and paste job, cuz us Ladiez are really into feelings, “Live, Laugh, Love” and all that [pours another Prosecco into personalised glass from Etsy]. He sounds lovely; so sensitive and considerate, unlike all those bastards out there. The thing is, I’m a giver and people just go on taking. I reckon it’s time for me to start doing things for Drizzle. Do you have his contact details?

Paddington68 · 11/01/2018 14:27

Is he an American soldier who in order to be released from his contract early only needs $$$$$$ to be sent?

Hoppinggreen · 11/01/2018 14:31

“Certain ways to be intimate” I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit at that

ohfortuna · 11/01/2018 15:08

I wonder if 'certain ways to be intimate' involves some sort of webcam sex after which he starts with the blackmailing?

KC225 · 11/01/2018 15:15

Gigolo

He'll he offering to measure you up for a quote soon.

Tell your friend to watch 90 days to wed.

orenisthenewblack · 11/01/2018 17:04

Scam!

Ellendegeneres · 11/01/2018 17:47

Don’t knock replying to the Nigerian scam emails, I had many a fun lunchtime at work composing my responses to one- we lasted weeks. I let him think I was really on the hook, a real game old bird who didn’t know much about this interweb thingy but my heart was his and I couldn’t wait for us to be together.
He started asking me for my help getting his plane ticket, but I said I’d rather visit him, in sunny America. He thought it would be more romantic in rainy England, I expressed my disappointment and insisted he tell me which airport I’d be flying into.
Back and forth we went, until he gave me his details for money transfer- which I duly did(nt do) and for some reason it never arrived in his account. So I tried again, western union, of course. I must be really scatterbrained because I kept sending money to the wrong account.
In the end he asked for my address, so I gave him the postcode for belmarsh. Never heard back ☹️ Thought our love was stronger than that...

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/01/2018 17:57

Ellen
I’m so sad for you. Please have a hug. It’ll get better. You’ll get over him sometime soon. Sad

Lashalicious · 11/01/2018 18:04

Scammer or mental issues.

No response is the best response.

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