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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what my friend should reply to this?

144 replies

nornironlady · 11/01/2018 11:16

I really am posting for a friend. She has met a guy on a well known online dating app. A real hunk, almost too good to be true. He lives in another country. I'm going to copy some of his first email as she is at a loss as to what to say in response. I thought if any Mumsnetter's were around this morning you might want to help. Here goes, it sounds like a CV.....
When i am in a Relationship, I do not go to sleep angry it doesn't matter who is right, all that matters is that we go to sleep with love in our hearts. I was taught to respect all young or old. I don't gossip about people it is not my place to judge them. I believe that what a person gives comes back tenfold to them. I am very confident at where I am in my life. I am open, kind, giving, responsible, happy, cheerful person. I don't like when someone plays head games and wastes my time. I do not have enough time left on this earth to waste on disrespectful people. I have been hurt too many times. I am looking for a serious relationship not,interested in a casual one. I want to find that special woman and be her husband and focus on giving her all my love and focus on giving her the love she deserves. I hope, someday we'll meet and fall in love. I just want to meet that special someone that I can be happy and in love with unconditionally, someone that will app and can't wait to come home to me.
Someone that I can love to the fullest for the rest of our lifes together. someone that is my Best Friend and my Lover. True love is finding your missing half. to find true love is worth the wait. I was taught the best things in life are worth waiting for, I don't seek outside comfort. I believe if there is a problem then it is best to talk it thru. I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I need no more than what pleases us both. When I am with someone I have eyes for no other. I like things to be decided ahead of time and I don't like when people cannot make up their mind. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I was taught never accept something half done or done the fastest way. I was taught to do it right and to do my best the first time. ...
I am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident with myself and where I am in life, I believe we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. i hope this tell you more about me and what i am looking for, i am looking forward to hear from you,
What would you say to this?

OP posts:
Justanothernameonthepage · 11/01/2018 11:28

'you have such a wonderful way with words, you have inspired me.
I am so glad to have met you, having been made bankrupt, losing my home and being told I have no right to stay in the UK, I was beginning to panic, but now I know that there are good people in the world. I am looking forward to meeting you so much. Do you think you could book me a flight and hotel to stay in while we learn more about each other? Don't worry about a return flight, I'm not able to live in the UK anymore.
It must be fate!'

Justmuddlingalong · 11/01/2018 11:30

He won't lose sleep if she doesn't reply. Grin. She'll be one of many who's recieved the same old flannel. Sounds like OLD might not be for her if she feels she should reply with something after he has shared so generously..........

thetwinkletoescollective · 11/01/2018 11:32

I wouldn't reply.
There is nothing authentic or 'him' in that whole cut and paste email.
Red. Flag.

MoveOnTheCards · 11/01/2018 11:32

He’s shared a load of waffle ‘generously’!

Lol at ‘Ok pet how much do you need?’

Unless your friend is after someone who sounds so OTT and clingy...

nornironlady · 11/01/2018 11:33

When I say another country I mean England, we are in NI!! He is much closer to you lot! I know there are some guys who like to gush but yeah it's so ridiculous there really is no response.

OP posts:
MoveOnTheCards · 11/01/2018 11:33

Justanothernameonthepage has it!

Bananalanacake · 11/01/2018 11:34

I thought the whole point of dating apps is to meet someone local. Not much point if he's in another country.

Justmuddlingalong · 11/01/2018 11:35

How about 'sorry pet, I was just after a shag'.

LuckyAmy1986 · 11/01/2018 11:36

Next! It would have lost me after the first paragraph

LuckyAmy1986 · 11/01/2018 11:37

How about 'sorry pet, I was just after a shag'.

That’s hilarious

BuckysRoboticArm · 11/01/2018 11:37

Oh please do Justanother's post!

Guardsman18 · 11/01/2018 11:38

These answers are brilliant!

ohfortuna · 11/01/2018 11:38

feels she should reply with something after he has shared so generously..........
He'll have copied and pasted the exact same to a large number of women, and yes it's just a load of stream-of-consciousness drivel

StopTheRoundabout · 11/01/2018 11:39

Tell him he has come into your life for a reason....to clear your debts Grin
He sounds like he is working in a Nigerian call centre and he's going to need you to send him a lot of money so he can come to rescue you on his white horse. Grin
I would reply saying I feel he is too good for me so I'm letting him go to find someone who is worthy of such a great guy.

Mookatron · 11/01/2018 11:39

'feels like she should reply after he shared so generously..' this, in a nutshell, is the problem with sexual politics. She owes him precisely ZERO.

I might be inclined to write back saying Im not interested and warning him that if he is not hoping for money/a passport he should change his schpiel because that's how it reads...

MrsSchadenfreude · 11/01/2018 11:39

Nigerian scammer. Trufact.

VeganIan · 11/01/2018 11:40

He's just cut and pasted that, surely?

SavvyBlancBlonde · 11/01/2018 11:40

His email makes me think of Rajesh Koothrappali

Shoxfordian · 11/01/2018 11:40

Don't reply, your friend owes him nothing

Have you really spent a couple of days thinking about this? Wow

OliviaMansfield · 11/01/2018 11:42

I wouldn't have time to reply, I'd be legging it in the other direction

BarbarianMum · 11/01/2018 11:42

What is such an amazing, soulful hunk doing on a dating site? How come no lucky woman's snapped him up? Hmm

"OK pet how much do you need" ?

^^This sounds about right.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 11/01/2018 11:42

At best, he sounds self-absorbed and boak-worthy.

At worst? He’s after something.

Money maybe? Though, it could still be a British passport, even if he lives in England.

That happened to a friend of my sister’s. A guy from South Africa, who she’d been with for a shortish time, proposed to her. She was still at university and her parents said, how about you live together for a bit first? The problem was, he couldn’t stay in the UK due to his visa, so she took a year out and went with him to Johannesburg to live with him for a while. They checked into a hotel and noticed he was texting someone a lot. He went out ‘to get something’ and never returned! Genuine story. I’ve actually met her. Can’t imagine if she’d actually married him. She went on to marry another prince actually. Poor woman. Very poor taste in men. Anyway, I digress.

Or maybe it’s an ill-informed Englishman, who assumes everyone in NI has an Irish passport and is after one of those?

StellaHeyStella · 11/01/2018 11:43

I couldn't be arsed to read all that nonsense op, boring, boring, boring.
Tell your friend to block him and move on.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 11/01/2018 11:43

Oh yes and don’t reply to him. I’d probably block tbh. Sounds like a creep.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 11/01/2018 11:44

Anyone who gushes about love and soul mates in a first message is a scammer in my view.
That generic message has probably been sent in duplicate. The stilted way it's written suggests English is not their first language and I'd be sceptical about whether the photo is genuine.

They can claim to be living anywhere, it doesn't mean it's true. He will be Deeply in Love and Feel a Connection after the third message and needing money very shortly.

[extremely cynical face]