AIBU to ask what my friend should reply to this?

[nornironlady]

I really am posting for a friend. She has met a guy on a well known online dating app. A real hunk, almost too good to be true. He lives in another country. I'm going to copy some of his first email as she is at a loss as to what to say in response. I thought if any Mumsnetter's were around this morning you might want to help. Here goes, it sounds like a CV.....
When i am in a Relationship, I do not go to sleep angry it doesn't matter who is right, all that matters is that we go to sleep with love in our hearts. I was taught to respect all young or old. I don't gossip about people it is not my place to judge them. I believe that what a person gives comes back tenfold to them. I am very confident at where I am in my life. I am open, kind, giving, responsible, happy, cheerful person. I don't like when someone plays head games and wastes my time. I do not have enough time left on this earth to waste on disrespectful people. I have been hurt too many times. I am looking for a serious relationship not,interested in a casual one. I want to find that special woman and be her husband and focus on giving her all my love and focus on giving her the love she deserves. I hope, someday we'll meet and fall in love. I just want to meet that special someone that I can be happy and in love with unconditionally, someone that will app and can't wait to come home to me.
Someone that I can love to the fullest for the rest of our lifes together. someone that is my Best Friend and my Lover. True love is finding your missing half. to find true love is worth the wait. I was taught the best things in life are worth waiting for, I don't seek outside comfort. I believe if there is a problem then it is best to talk it thru. I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I need no more than what pleases us both. When I am with someone I have eyes for no other. I like things to be decided ahead of time and I don't like when people cannot make up their mind. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I was taught never accept something half done or done the fastest way. I was taught to do it right and to do my best the first time. ...
I am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident with myself and where I am in life, I believe we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. i hope this tell you more about me and what i am looking for, i am looking forward to hear from you,
What would you say to this?

Reply: yes, yes, all well and good but where's the dick pic?

I got bored after two sentences. Imagine how dull he must be in RL

Fuck it, woolly pervert stole my answer.

If she really wants to reply, then she should say something that completely negates what he's "looking for" so that he fucks off.

That's assuming that he's in any way genuine, which he probably isn't.

So - "sorry, I'm only in it for sex and lolz, you sound far too intense, buhbye" would fit.

Nothing to add really, except that I had to Google Barbara O'Cumbungles (as named in DSHathaway 's post) and just nearly fell off my chair laughing. Bloody hilarious!

Barbara O'Cumbungles and Wee Moustache

Cut. Copy. Paste.

Bye 👋

I really really wouldn't reply, unless she wants her email address to be passed onto every possible scammer as someone who responds and might be worth investing a little more effort into . This is almost identical to many of the Russian bride scam emails I get sent. (I'm not in the market for a Russian bride - or indeed the penis enlargement emails I also get lots of, it's just that my work email has been out there in public for many years and our spam filters aren't great...)

The OP knows it’s a scammer. She just wants a funny reply to send back!

Why waste your time though? It's like replying to a Nigerian scam email. It'll either be ignored or taken as an invitation to ramp up the scam. No one's going to be a sitting there reading a witty response thinking "Well, that's me told. I shall cease and desist all scamming activities forthwith"

Just block and ignore. Obviously.

I don't like this at all. This reads very much like it's a stock message he sends out to all the ladies. There is no personalisation, it's over the top, way too long. Wide berth

God I couldn't make my eyes actually read all that waffle!

I would say fuck off. And I would tell your friend to get off on line dating because she is so not able for it.

'Shared'? Oh come on, he hasn't shared anything with her. That is a cut and paste blurb and he is sending it to everyone to see if someone gullible enough bites. It's a numbers game for men like this.

A genuine message will refer to something in your own profile to acknowledge that they've read your profile. Block and move on and adopt some healthy scepticism next time.

That's creepy and clearly a scam. He will not look like his pic.

I'd just block him, but if you must send something. I'd just send, "good luck with that mate".

I have no advice, sorry.

But I am fucking crying at the Barbara O'Cumbungles conversation upthread.

Fair play to her.

Thats how you take down a scammer.

Yes this is weeding. That email will have been sent to hundreds of women. Out of 100 maybe 3 will believe it is genuine and reply. Those 3 will then get the sob story about sick relative and bills to pay etc.

I worked in fraud until recently. Romance scams are terrifyingly common and on the rise.
Not just your run of the mill Nigerian princes either!
One of the most common ones was where bank details were compromised and loans applied for in the victims name. There was one woman who had over £70k taken out in her name.

Be very careful.

And this guys clearly a scammer.

I was about to say this stuff really should be taught in school but that’s too late for the people who are being targeted. People really need to keep their wits about them.

Yes that’s another. They get people to share details about themselves under the guise of “taking an interest”. Things like “when is your birthday? i’d Love to send you a gift” and voila! They have your DOB and address.

@OlennasWimple I was just going to say that. And also point out that NI is a country.

Sorry OP, no help at all on the email just hate geographical inaccuracies.

I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I want no more

WTF? Is he reassuring you he's not into anal sex?

The Barbara thing is hilarious but on a serious note, if you reply to a scam don't you get put onto a shared list of "gullible people that might bite" list and you'll be inundated..?

Honestly, that is a scammer, and I'm a little surprised that anyone would ever fall for it.

Has anyone listened to the 'Dirty John' podcast? It was pretty incredible but it seems some folk do fall for scammers!

wondery.com/wondery/shows/dirtyjohn/

feels she should reply with something after he has shared so generously..........

this is a sure fire way of falling for any kind of manipulative and controlling idiot. She owes nobody anything, and if you have spent days on this, you both need a decent book or a new hobby. training course or no traning course, you have utterly burnt grey cells on a fake.

This guy is a scammer, for sure

Has she run his image through google image search?

Have neither of you heard of copy & paste?

So this too good to be true hunk lives abroad does he? Well that’s a surprise ......... I’m assuming, therefore, that all she’s seen are pictures which may be of him, or may b3 of someone else whose likeness this guy is using to attract —gullible— susceptible women.

Your friend needs to block and ignore. He sounds too good to be true because he isn’t true.

If she absolutely must reply, tell her to write something like - Dear , Thank you for your reply. You sound way too intense for me: I’ll pass thanks. Regards