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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what my friend should reply to this?

144 replies

nornironlady · 11/01/2018 11:16

I really am posting for a friend. She has met a guy on a well known online dating app. A real hunk, almost too good to be true. He lives in another country. I'm going to copy some of his first email as she is at a loss as to what to say in response. I thought if any Mumsnetter's were around this morning you might want to help. Here goes, it sounds like a CV.....
When i am in a Relationship, I do not go to sleep angry it doesn't matter who is right, all that matters is that we go to sleep with love in our hearts. I was taught to respect all young or old. I don't gossip about people it is not my place to judge them. I believe that what a person gives comes back tenfold to them. I am very confident at where I am in my life. I am open, kind, giving, responsible, happy, cheerful person. I don't like when someone plays head games and wastes my time. I do not have enough time left on this earth to waste on disrespectful people. I have been hurt too many times. I am looking for a serious relationship not,interested in a casual one. I want to find that special woman and be her husband and focus on giving her all my love and focus on giving her the love she deserves. I hope, someday we'll meet and fall in love. I just want to meet that special someone that I can be happy and in love with unconditionally, someone that will app and can't wait to come home to me.
Someone that I can love to the fullest for the rest of our lifes together. someone that is my Best Friend and my Lover. True love is finding your missing half. to find true love is worth the wait. I was taught the best things in life are worth waiting for, I don't seek outside comfort. I believe if there is a problem then it is best to talk it thru. I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I need no more than what pleases us both. When I am with someone I have eyes for no other. I like things to be decided ahead of time and I don't like when people cannot make up their mind. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I was taught never accept something half done or done the fastest way. I was taught to do it right and to do my best the first time. ...
I am very sensitive, caring, sincere person. I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday. I know what I want from life and I am very confident with myself and where I am in life, I believe we have a lot in common. We both want a lot of the same things from life and love. I look forward to getting to know you better. i hope this tell you more about me and what i am looking for, i am looking forward to hear from you,
What would you say to this?

OP posts:
StopTheRoundabout · 11/01/2018 11:51

Hi dreamboat, so is it cold hard cash or a British passport you want?
I thought news of Brexit mustn't have reached Nigeria yet but then the penny finally dropped when I read this...
OP: we are in NI!
.... No its not a British passport he's after...it's an Irish-EU passport he's after.

Ellendegeneres · 11/01/2018 11:51

I think donny calling you dim was a bit harsh, but seriously people need to learn to spot a scam. This stuff is basic.
Past ‘hi, I like x from your profile, I see we have some things in common, hope to hear from you’ type messages, anything else- specially the ‘hunk’ ‘too good to be true’ guff.
If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

WingsOnMyBoots · 11/01/2018 11:52

If he's not a scammer then , at best, he sounds like narcissist and a control freak. Ugh.

RedDogsBeg · 11/01/2018 11:53

That's just an awful load of twaddle, but if you read between the lines it sounds creepy and controlling.

Your friend is under no obligation to reply she should just block him and forget about it, no good will come out of having a conversation with this person.

It doesn't read right and the old saying "if it looks too good to be true, it isn't true" seems to fit here. Sounds very much like a scam.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 11/01/2018 11:53

Yep it’s an Irish passport he wants.

maddnessintheroost · 11/01/2018 11:55

Scam

Viviennemary · 11/01/2018 11:57

Sounds like a scammer's script to me. Next will be his mother, sister, auntie will need life saving treatment. So predictable.

Monoblock67 · 11/01/2018 11:58

Sounds like a serial dater and/or a scam artist for sure.

CrazyExIngenue · 11/01/2018 12:00

See, now I think she should respond and we should see what he wants.

ShatnersWig · 11/01/2018 12:01

I'd be looking for another friend or asking her to get some counselling for even considering sending ANY response to that pile of shite.

Seriously? Does she have a brain cell at all?

SendintheArdwolves · 11/01/2018 12:01

Honestly, that is a scammer, and I'm a little surprised that anyone would ever fall for it.

There is absolutely zero chance that this person is who he says he is.

There is zero chance that the photo on the profile is of the person replying. Has your friend tried google image searching the picture? I bet it pops up all over the place.

The grammar of the letter ("I believe you are also a very honest, caring, loving, giving person, someone that I have the privilege to meet someday") makes it highly unlikely that this was written by a native English speaker.

This is a romance scammer. Please, please tell your friend to google 'romance scam' and spend half an hour reading up on this. After she has done so, I guarantee that she will be able to spot them coming a mile off.

What should she do? Report him to the site. They will have seen this massage (and this picture) a dozen times and can block him. I used to work for a dating app and this stuff happened ALL THE TIME.

lolaflores · 11/01/2018 12:01

arkangel you read my mind. WOndering if you know an acquaintance of mine who splurges like this and wonders why he gets knocked back.4
Despite efforts to get him to tone it down, he hasn't. Unlikely to either.

This is a nightmare on gas mark 2 but sure to go to eleven under the slightest slip.

No need to reply. Just gently pass over it.

Chocolate1984 · 11/01/2018 12:02

Sound like the kind of thing he sends everyone. Just ignore.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 11/01/2018 12:03

Don't waste time contemplating a reply. Al I see is, I, I, I, all about me !

ohfortuna · 11/01/2018 12:07

I think she has to reply so that we can have some fun on here it will make an entertaining thread

dingdongdigeridoo · 11/01/2018 12:07

Hmm, let me guess. Is he a British or American soldier who happens to be working in Africa? Because this sounds a lot like a scammer that a friend of the family fell for.

Does she know his full name? Google it. A lot of scammers use the same profiles and names over and over.

Do a reverse image search on his picture too. That should be interesting.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 11/01/2018 12:07

Fake as fuck. Lose no sleep and waste no time. Don't reply at all as it just engages with them. Unless you've got a Barbara O'Cumbungles style denouement awaiting him when he inevitably asks for money

ohfortuna · 11/01/2018 12:08

This bit here
I also have certain ways to be intimate and once we learn what pleases one another I am content with that. I need no more than what pleases us both
Ask for some clarification, perhaps a diagram too?

LuigiBoard · 11/01/2018 12:08

What figrolls said. It's a scam

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 11/01/2018 12:09

Grin @ohfortuna

user1495451339 · 11/01/2018 12:11

Yuck, I stay well clear. It may not be a scammer some men are just very intense. I wouldn't believe a word of it though. He probably just copies and pastes the same drivel to everyone.

Eliza9917 · 11/01/2018 12:13

she should reply with something after he has shared so generously..........

He hasn't shared so generously, that's a cut & paste job, sent out to everyone he thinks looks like a soft target.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 11/01/2018 12:15

Grin @ohfortuna

LyraPotter · 11/01/2018 12:17

Tbh that reads like a list of all the things he expects women to want to hear. You would have to be incredibly self-absorbed to believe all that of yourself. He's basically written 'I am the perfect man and here's why'.

I believe in the mantra 'show not tell' - why has he written out a shopping list of his best qualities instead of behaving like a normal person, getting to know your friend and proving himself by his actions?

I wouldn't reply if it were me - life's too short to cater to the egos of men who think they're god's gift to the universe.

strawberrypenguin · 11/01/2018 12:31

The OP knows it’s a scammer. She just wants a funny reply to send back!

OP I’d go with ‘can’t decide’
Aaa he apparently doesn’t like people who can’t make decisions!