This is really long and I have name changed as I don’t want it linked to my other posts.
I’m single and 26 and work for a large organisation with loads of staff doing loads of different jobs. I’m office based and have, over the past few months, been flirting outrageously with another member of staff who I’ll call Fin. He’s 29 and works all over the site. Nothing has happened but it was getting to the point that if he didn’t ask me out I was goi g to ask him as it really felt like that was where we were heading.
At a staff event a month or so ago fin got into a bit of banter with another member of staff, Lucy (38 - 40 at a guess - I think the ages are relevant) who was hosting the evening. It was all over a microphone and very funny in the context of the night. Fin was sitting at my table and laughing about it with me.
Anyway as far as I know that was the first time that fin and Lucy had ever spoken to each other apart from pleasantries. he will have been to her office and completed jobs for her etc but he probably dealt with her team rather than her directly. She is quite senior in the organisation so wouldn’t necessarily instruct him or take any notice of him coming in and out of her building.
Since that night fin has completely withdrawn from me; he used to pop in for a chat when he passed my office and we would go and collect our lunch together sometimes. he doesn’t do either anymore and although he is perfectly nice when I do see him he definitely doesn’t speak to me as much.
But I have seen him talking to lucy a lot. They don’t go to the cafeteria together but when they’re in there they will be chatting or at least smiling/waving to one another. Also I have seen them talking around site which could be work related but it looks (to my sad lovelorn eyes anyway) like flirty banter
I know I sound tragic and stalkery but the thing is I think lucy is married, she definitely was previously. She could have separated but I haven’t heard anything about it and our work is fairly gossipy so it’s the kind of thing I feel I would have known about...
I have no real reason to speak to lucy at all. Our departments don’t cross over and she would speak to my boss rather than me if there was an issue. I have spoken to her in passing though and she does seem nice and she has a reputation in our workplace for being friendly and funny and a bit of a live wire
I just get the feeling that she is having what she thinks is a harmless laugh with a younger man but I think Fin is a bit smitten and therefore has withdrawn from me...
So WIBU to ask her to back off if it’s not serious for her? And if so how would i go about it?