Is it snobby of me to not want it in my bedroom?

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

DP wants us to have a TV in the bedroom.

We already have a massive TV in the living room, when actually when I lived alone, I never had one in the first place (would just stream films if in the mood for watching something).

I told him it just didn't sit right with me, a TV in the bedroom, and he said I was being a snob.

But I'm right aren't I?

Can anyone help me pinpoint why exactly it feels wrong? It just does to me, anyway!

Have you got a telly in your bedroom?

Does that mean you can't have sex in the living room? I mean it's not for that is it? It's for reading and watching TV.

Well, you're a snob if you don't like it because you find it 'downmarket'. But I do agree with 'I think it must be just its physical presence, the fact that it would always be there and taking up visual space, that bothers me'.

I love watching telly in bed but always use a laptop. I don't like the idea of a telly hulking in the room all the time. It's not specifically bedrooms I feel like this about, though; I don't have a telly in the living room –I have a projector and a blank wall, so when no one's watching anything there's no telly 'presence' in there either.

Sparkling

Our living room isn’t for watching tv

The idea of having a tv in our living room, being surrounded by the buzzing of a tv (be that sports or cartoons etc) and the flickering? I’m not too keen on that idea. At all.

I’d also be worried that DD1 would want to watch tv because of this.

So your living room is just for having sex Freddie?

Not a snob thing - a "just don't like it" thing. I don't like it.

We have a tv in our room. It’s useful on occasion, but mostly it just looks ugly. It’s rarely used. DH grew up with one in his room - I grew up never having been allowed one.

I don’t think it’s snobby though. Just a differing of opinions as someone else said.

I would quite like to have a tv in my bedroom, but that's because I sometimes am bedridden.

Otherwise I completely agree that it's like having a third demanding person in the room.

If he can watch on his laptop then he can livestream tv, surely? Why does he need a tv?

We always used to have a tv in the bedroom but when we moved we used it in the computeroom. DH wants a tv on the wall and I preferred a picture.

I am off upstairs to put my face on, I may even have one eye on Homes Under the Hammer as I do it.

I really don’t like tv in the bedroom. I came home from London one weekend and OH had set up a massive tv in the bedroom and thought I’d love it- ended up in the attic! I’d rather just have one room for pure sleep

sparkling

Actually, seeing as the living room is not on the same floor as DD1’s room or DD2’s cot.

So...

But no, we don’t have a tv in our living room. I don’t see the need. And I wouldn’t want it. (I’d honestly rather get on in the bedroom... especially for Saturday and Sunday morning... if DD1 watching tv could give us a lie-in wistful sigh)

We just upgraded our main TV and put our old one in the bedroom, its great, feels a bit like a hotel room! improved our sex life too as I am always too sleepy when we go to bed but if we go to watch a film or something then I quite it.

We are doing an ensuite too currently.

I’ve never had one in my bedroom. Recently moved in with DP, we now have one under the bed which we whack out if we fancy it.

It's personal preference and he's calling you names to undermine the validity of yours. That's unkind. Can you have a kind conversation on the subject, listening to and seeking to understand each other?

Why not do it? Because light from screens (blue I think) is very bad for sleep, it's best avoided for a period of time before going to sleep and can be disruptive. Kindles etc use a different colour light for this reason, plus ease of reading.

The light from a TV affects both of you, unlike a small device (though some partners are bothered by those too).

Making the bedroom into a TV-watching room also stops it from being a 'sleep sanctuary', a room dedicated to sleep, rest and sex. Being bad for your sex lives is one strong argument - and I'm sure true, as you're far less likely to 'go to bed' at the same time, if one person is staying up to watch something.

Also though, I think there's something something psychologically important about keeping your bedroom as a tranquil refuge, as the quiet place where sleep and going to sleep happens. That perception of the space affects your mood when you go into the room, so helps you wind down towards sleep. Feeling that it's another busy room in which other things happen, that you can't ignore but aren't involved in, could have a huge impact on your feelings about going to bed, possibly leading you to avoid the bedroom for as long as possible, or feeling you have to use a sleep mask - making winding down and going to sleep stressful, not restful, so counterproductive.

None of that is snobby. Me saying 'my goodness, lounge? Ugh, it's sitting room!' would be snobby.

DH put a TV in the bedroom once. I removed it quickly. He has never tried such foolishness again. DS keeps asking for one. I have told him he can have one after we do, logic which he has accepted for the moment, without questioning when we will be getting ours so I have not had to reply 'never' to yet.

I don't know whether it is being a snob or not, but I do dislike TVs in bedrooms for some reason. Yet, I would say my parents are the biggest snobs alive and they have one in their bedroom (a 40+ year old B&W CRT one!)

I completely get it. I have never had one and never would.

Can you compromise. Get the telly but not for weeknights? Is separate bedrooms an option?

Neither of us want a tv in our bedroom. Occasionally I watch something on my iPad but I don’t want more than that. We have 3 TVs in the rest of the house, we really don’t need another.

I have a TV in the bedroom, but only because we replaced the living room TV and didn't want to throw the old one out. I'd never actually buy a TV specificaly for the bedroom. I never watch it - kids use to play the Wii occasionally.

I wouldn’t have one in the bedroom, and yes it is snobby of me .

Dp doesn’t want a wall mounted telly for snobbish reasons too

I bloody love my bedroom telly, but then I AM common, so that's alright.

Nothing better than watching Tattoo Fixers in bed while eating a crisp sandwich. You lot don't know what you're missing.

When we first moved in together he wanted a TV in the bedroom, I said no and he's never suggested it again. As an insomniac, I need all the sleep hygiene I can get.

I have always been against tv's in the bedroom, DP badgered us to get one. I relented when DD came along. She's now 3 and I wouldn't look back. We all snuggle up in bed and watch a few of DD's cartoons before she goes to bed for a story. If both DP & I are off at the weekend the 3 of us sometimes have a duvet day with a movie. It gives us some quality cosy time as a family. However I am very reluctant to let him put a TVs in DD bedroom, she doesn't need one.

Why is it snobby to not want one? Different opinion that's all. I have one in my bedroom and although I don't watch it often in bed I do sometimes just like to snuggle up and watch something. We will never watch it while the other is trying to sleep. We will watch something we both want to watch at the same time. It doesn't stop us interacting.

We have a telly in our bedroom. It's never ever had any effect on our ability to sleep well, it doesn't ruin our sex life or stop us interacting with one another.