to think my Dad has stolen my best friend from me

[Burchett]

Bit of background, I have always been very nervous and shy, i was self diagnosed with dysphoria when young and struggled to make friends all my life. I have had a couple of jobs that I didn't really enjoy and was bullied but a year and a half back I got a job in a call centre where I was made really welcome and have made really good progress.

I then found a really good assisted house share close to work (within walking distance as before i was catching three buses) and have felt a good deal happier than I was previously. I really feel i have made strides in my life

At my new work I met some really nice people and one especially good friend. We would go out for drinks after work and even to a club occasionally in Peterborough. We get on great and it's really good.

A couple of months ago I had arranged to meet my Dad for a meal. He has split up from my Mum and lives alone on a narrowboat, I think he is mainly happy but he did confide he got lonely and missed company. As I was on my way to meet my Dad my friend ask to join as at a loose end, of course I said yes.

We had a really nice night at Frankie and Bennys and everyone got on great. My friend and my Dad had a lot in common (they both like F1 and are massive Prince (RIP) fans) and it was really good to see them having passionate discussions. At the end of the night they swapped numbers and said they would stay in touch

Since then I have hardly seen either of them. They spend a great deal of time together but never invite me. My friend has even stayed over on my Dad's boat a number of times. I was obviously happy to see them getting on but quite upset as I felt I had been pushed out by them both

Last week I had arranged to go for a meal and drinks with my friend but was stood up again, I then found out my friend and my Dad had been to watch a Prince tribute act in my Dad's local pub. They said they had texted me and asked me to join but I didn't get this, they said it must be a confusion with phone numbers which is technically possible as I do change mobile contracts quite often to ensure I have the most up to date handsets (I am a bit of a phone geek) but I always make sure they have my newest number so they can contact me

I really want to say something to them and especially to my Dad as I feel he has stolen my friend from me but I am worried if I do they might say they prefer achother's company to mine. How can I raise it with them and get my friend back?

Op, I imagine this is frustrating but please be careful on a forum like this. So far I know what you do for a living, where you are based, what clubs you've been too, the fact your dad lives on a boat, what beer he drinks, what his hobbies and music tastes are. It could be very outing if someone you know were to read this.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer

If your dad has a cold too then you know the boat has been rocking

So that's the only way colds spread is it? Jeez!

OP can you clarify if you actually got a diagnosis or if it was just your mum?

i got a diagnosis from my Mum who is very medically astute

I’m medically astute, but I can’t go around diagnosing people

I think you might get a bit more support and help with relationships etc in real life if you are "in the system"...

Have you ever seen your GP about these things..??

ask you can diagnose yourself with whatever you fancy if you declare yourself "medically astute"?

Why would i need to see a GP? I say him when I had both my collarbones broken and also when i had a cold last year but I'm not ill now

GPs are the gatekeepers for a huge number of support services, including talking therapies which could help your shyness and "dysphoria" as well as things like Befriending schemes which you could benefit from...

More than friends? Surely not. That is some age gap.

Op, do you feel a sense of unease and dissatisfaction with life? Is that the dysphoria your mum diagnosed you with?

Have you never wanted to see the gp to get that confirmed and see if there's any help available.

Regarding your dad, sadly all you can do is express how you feel about the situation but you can't stop their relationship.

HOW did you get assisted housing without an official diagnosis???

OP, mental illnesses like dysphoria are illnesses. You should see a GP. Anti-depressants and several other classes of medications show promise for helping people to resolve dysphoric feelings.

If you would go to see him for a cold, this is like a cold you've had for years. Please understand that many are concerned for you because having an illness diagnosed only by a parent can be a major sign of problems in the household. What was your childhood like at the time when your mother diagnosed you?

Your mother can't diagnose you.

FGS, OP has repeatedly said she only wants to gain some advice on her friendship and her dad! Stop interfering and being daft, guys. Don't you think that the assisted living staff will be sorting out whatever "condition" (for want of a better word) and advising what she does with her leisure money?

Bubb I thought the OP was a man?

If your dad is straight presumably they’re not having sex, but they clearly get on well.

Even if you talk to them you can’t insist they hang out with you more.

Op, are you romantically interested in your friend at all? Sorry you feel led out- you've got some good advice re approaching both. Hope you have a nice evening with your dad.

No. Im with the OP. She/he has been wendied. Dad should find his own mates/partners. Id be very annoyed and never introduce him to anyone you know. The dad in the wrong much more than the friend.