Cosmetic surgery on Dd(8) ears?

[motherfiver]

Over the last few months Dd has become very aware of the fact that her ears are very prominent, I think sparks by playground comments although she denies this. She is refusing to wear her hair down and and there has been many tears over this.
Surgery to pin them back was something I really considered when she was little but decided they weren't that bad and I'd let her make her own choice, they have got worse as she has gotten older.
Tbh I'm not really opposed to the idea as I hate for her to feel insecure and unhappy, but I don't have any family or friends on my side, DP (who is not DD's biological father) has said he is really against it.
Short term I 100% think it would be beneficial for her but I'm worried long term it will be damaging.
If it's relevant me and DD's adult sister have both had cosmetic surgery .

AIBU to really be considering letting her have surgery?
WWYD?

If it was my dd I would have it done before pre teen hormones are added to the mix.
Personally think by not having it done you would make her feel unlistened to and being spiteful for not allowing her to have control over her own body and choices regarding it.

Pinning my ears was suggested by a Dr to my mum when I was probably around the same age as your daughter. She refused and I really, really wish she hadn't. I had years of comments about them at school and I'm still massively conscious of them now, 30 years on. Except now an op would cost me multiples of thousands and would need me to take time off work, so is not really feasible. It would have been much easier if it had been done back then.

So in short, I would say do it, especially if she's asking for it.

I had mine done at 8 or 9 and so did my sister. I'm so thankful my mum decided that we'd get it done, I did get teased and I'm really pleased with them as an adult.

It's not your partner's decision to make.

I had my ears pinned back when I was 10. It was entirely my decision and at no point have I regretted it.

I was already becoming very self conscious about that by the time they were done, I wouldn’t have wanted to go into secondary school with them as they were (mine were very prominent)

Do it now. I would have done it long before 8.

Ear pin surgery is common as far as I know. Though I thought kids had to wait until 16/17 to get it done otherwise it can affect their ears in other ways. This may be different now though. If it is quite bad and very obvious, I'm surprised she hasn't been recommended for it through the gp during health checks.

I asked for mine to be pinned back at age four and they were done at age five. I thank my lucky stars that they were!!!

Why exactly is your DP against it? It's not his body, he can have no idea what it's like to live with ears that stick out.

The only after effect I've had is once every 4 months or so, a bit of an ache after sleeping on one side. No other bad effects at all and recovery was very quick.

I would take her for a drs opinion, if the Dr agrees to do the operation let your DD make the decision on whether to have it or not.

Are you being alerted to this red flag by your dp?

I got my ds ears pinned when he was 6, so glad we did it then.

Sadly though I do believe it is very hard to get done on the nhs now

Not available on the NHS anymore. No idea how much it cost?

Both my sisters were bullied for their ears and had the op during our primary school years (can't remember the exact age!). It worked brilliantly. Id 100% get it done whilst she's little.

Do it before the teasing reaches high school proportions. And ignore your DP.

I had mine done at 10. Best thing ever to do them before high school x

My daughter had hers done at 13. It had to be her decision. She’s never regretted it,

Dp thinks we should wait until she's sixteen, his point that I get that having big ears is like having a big nose and we would never think of subjecting children to a painful nose job to improve their appearance so why is pinning children's ears back so common.
I had a lot of cosmetic surgery in my 20s after struggling with anorexia, so it is a really touchy subject in our house. I don't want Dd to have the negative body image I had but I also don't want her to be obsessed with looks and think your can just operate on what you don't like like I did and I don't know which way letting her or not letting her is going to go.

If they work that is my “before” and “after”

Well worth looking into if she is keen on it

We toyed with this with DSS he is now in his 20s and recently told us he wishes we had done it as now he has to pay and can't afford it. We feel terrible about it.

I was offered to have mine done at 7 and said no. My mum was really cross. I had them done when I was 12. Very simple, no pain and never had any problem. Whilst I don't remember any comments growing up, looking back I'm so glad I had it done. I wear my hair short now, I never would have been able to wear the styles I do with my ears as they were.
I have a friend who also had hers done as a child. She says the same as me.
I would have my child's ears done if needed.

Had mine done when I was 10. Very, very pleased I did. It isn't comparable to a painful nose job. I remember the whole thing very well and there was no post op pain. I think if your dd is positive about the idea then you should take her lead.

Nothing useful to add Op just a bit taken aback by how popular the op seems to be by all the comments, I had no idea!