Cosmetic surgery on Dd(8) ears?

[motherfiver]

Over the last few months Dd has become very aware of the fact that her ears are very prominent, I think sparks by playground comments although she denies this. She is refusing to wear her hair down and and there has been many tears over this.
Surgery to pin them back was something I really considered when she was little but decided they weren't that bad and I'd let her make her own choice, they have got worse as she has gotten older.
Tbh I'm not really opposed to the idea as I hate for her to feel insecure and unhappy, but I don't have any family or friends on my side, DP (who is not DD's biological father) has said he is really against it.
Short term I 100% think it would be beneficial for her but I'm worried long term it will be damaging.
If it's relevant me and DD's adult sister have both had cosmetic surgery .

AIBU to really be considering letting her have surgery?
WWYD?

My husband's cousin had hers done when she was about 8 or 9, as did her mother when she was about that age. They are both very happy with their choice. It's a much easier operation than a nose job, I don't really think that's comparable.

My stepson had this done aged 7 because in my partner's words 'He looked like the FA cup'. She got it done because she knew he'd get teased at school. It's a very common procedure.

It's really gross how common this is among young children. What the hell is wrong with people? Why are prominent ears any different to a big nose, or eyebrows, or anything else? You're teaching your kids that how they look is not okay somehow.

Why do you think it would be damaging long term?

Another vote for getting it done here.

condepetie explain "gross" what makes you think this is that common a procedure?

Christmas I expect it's the amount of people on here whove posted to say they've had it done or their child has.

I agree with Condepetie.

I personally would teach my child to love their body, and be resilient. Everybody is different. How is cosmeticnsurgery to pin back ears any different to a nose job or a boob job - where do you draw the line?

Let her I have it. My cousin had hers done at the age of 6 or 7 at her request as she was teased at school. She was happy afterward and no one made a big deal about the surgery. She is in her 30s now and didn't have any other cosmetic procedures so it doesn't lead down the path of low self esteem and further cosmetic procedures as some on the thread seem to apply.

The thing that knocked my self esteem was the ears before they were done and the impact that had on me.

I have never come across anyone who regrets having it done which I think speaks volumes

It’s a simple op and makes a huge difference to self confidence and also to how others perceive you. Why make your child’s childhood harder than it has to be. As an adult I feel sorry for anyone with ears that stick out or has manky teeth both of which are easily fixed. It doesn’t change your appearance in the way a nose job would it just improves the original and rightly or wrongly you will be treated with more respect as an adult.

I had my ears pinned back when I was 6.
Looking back on photos I am so glad my mum decided that.
Perhaps try to get her booked in for the op at the beginning of the summer holidays though as I remember having to wear a bandage for weeks after.

I have always hated my ears, at 50 I am still conscious of them although I don't think I was ever teased about them. My dc all had large sticky out ears though it never bothered any of them. I always had it in my mind that I would get them sorted when they were older but they somehow grew into them and as adults their ears look perfectly normal. I wouldn't rush into it personally but keep an eye on your dd and take your cue from her.

A guy I went to school with had his done around the same age. Don't see how it's different to getting braces, it seems quite common really.

A few people have mentioned the possible side effects of sleeping on your side causing pain and also earbuds not fitting - I have both these problems and have not had my ears pinned! Wish I could have, and braces but that's a derailment...

Oh the irony that if you suggest getting your child's ears pierced on here, you are torn to shreds, yet posters are queuing up to encourage the op to do this!

So should we teach the thousands of people who wear braces, to correct prominent teeth, to just become more resiliant?

And comparing to getting a dc ears pierced! How rediculous

Excuse the typos

Comparisons to breast jobs and nose jobs are pointless because neither area of the body are fully developed until adulthood.

My ears didn’t have the bend in the cartilage, that wasn’t going to change at any point by itself no matter how much I grew

Did it at 21 as my present to myself for graduating.

Wish I'd done it sooner.

Yes, it is like braces.

@frasier

Long term I'm worried I'll be setting the example that it's not okay to have flaws and if your not happy with your appearance surgery is the solution.
I don't want there to be a slippery slope, that's starts of with her ears sticking out, then her her nose being to big, her boobs being to small, her thighs too big...
But equally short term I want to give her control over her body and not be responsible for her being insecure and unhappy.

Do it, I have spent the last 35 odd years hiding my ears.

I’d support my daughter and fit tooth and nail for it.

In sure you DP wouldn’t mind if braces were fitted. My daughter needs braces and whilst she is offered it as a child I will make sure she has it. I’d hate for her too feel like we Didn’t respect how she felt.

I’d be pleased she came and spoke to me it sets the tone for later on in life and I’d hope she knows I am approachable over anything.

My best friend at primary school had hers done when she was about 10 - I think it was a good decision as her confidence increased noticeably right away and she was able to go to high school without any of the comments or self consciousness.

I have sticky out ears. My DM and I often talked about how ridiculous it was that people would go to the trouble of having them pinned back! People probably teased me a bit, but I never felt abnormal in any way (at least not in respect of my ears!!!!). No regrets here about still having sticky out ears, they're just ears. Srzy, I like your ears in the first photo!

I did have braces though, and (I suppose I would say this), I think that's different. Badly aligned teeth can cause physical problems later on.

It's completely different to a nose job. It's quite a common op for children and as she has asked to have it done then you're doing the right thing taking her to the gp. Imo having ears pinned back is more comparable to braces than a nose job. It would definitely be better to have it done in primary as kids can be very cruel, add in teenage hormones and it could make her feel even worse about her ears than she does now.

Frankly you're dp has no say here. I'm usually an advocate of step parents being included but it's your dd that has asked for this to be done so her wishes come first over his opinion. As pp have said it's a simple op and not having it young can lead to big regrets when older.

And comparing to getting a dc ears pierced! How rediculous

It's not ridiculous. Having a child's ears pierced is very frowned upon on these boards...so why is this being encouraged by the majority of posters particularly when it's a much more major procedure than ear piercing and both are being done for cosmetic reasons.

Fwiw, if it was my DD, I'd probably seriously look into it...but then I wouldn't have a fit over piercing a child's ears, like most on here.