Best Friend of 17 years vs Boyfriend of 15 Months

[cherylann010]

My boyfriend of 15 months ask me "if me and your best friend (male of 17yrs) were kidnapped and you had to kill one of us which would you chose" i reply honestly and say "i really don't know"...

Now he has broke up with me.. literally 5 minutes before the question we were talking about moving in together and possibly marrying next year or two.. is this not a complete over reaction?

My ex has never showed any signs of jealously over said friend in the past. 17 years of pure platonic friendship. In fact i refer to him as my brother.

who would you chose your friend or me?

Next it will be another friend, your parents or any children you have.

Hes an insecure jealous moron and he's turning it on to you. Your network of family and friends will gradually grow smaller the more involved you get with this goon.

He needs to grow the fuck up and you need see this as a good warning and get the hell out

Now this I like!

good riddance!!

He's done you a complete favour there. Fancy even asking that, let alone leaving over it!

Very childish imo

He’s asking you about you committing murder- killing a person you love and he needs a quick answer!! Serious red flag territory! Luckily for you he didn’t phrase it in a way you could answer ‘correctly’ so he could start manipulating.

Stay safe and stay away
(Love the poster in the age 12 mindset, now you know how to answer questions!)

Cherry is right, dear Lord, can you imagine what having children with someone like this would be like?

Well he has made answering that question much easier now. Obviously you save your best friend, who has never acted liked a petulant five year old.

Good riddance I say, the man sounds a complete imbecile.

Lucky escape!!! What a knob!

I’d a flipped a coin, looked at it, looked at him and mouthed “sorry”

Please don’t let this manipulative manchild bully back into your life.

At least you found out how childishly he behaves, before you made major changes to your life in terms of moving in / getting married / having dc together.

If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

I think you are asking to be hurt if you ask questions like that.

He wants you to love him best but behaves as though he doesn't love you. You are well rid!

His 40 and his asking these sorts of question. I despair for you Op.

he's made the choice a whole lot easier hasn't he?

I must say, I assumed when I read the OP that he was early 20s at most, and an immature 20s at that. The fact that he comes out with this bollocks at 40 is extremely revealing.

ABUSER
You'll take him back, he'll tell you how hurt he was. But how much he loves you.
How he feels that you care about your friend more.
You'll stop seeing your friend so much.

RINSE AND REPEAT.
Until you have no one but him in your life

Surely it is hard to analyse an person's entire character from relatively scant information. He does sound a bit insecure and jealous about friend but bully and abuser seem hasty diagnoses.

If you decided to continue this relationship (which I deeply hope you don't!), please don't dance to his tune over this. He wants you to be sorry, to understand how hurtful this is for him and to ultimately stop you seeing your friend. Tell him to grow up and stop being so childish, and then ignore. You have done NOTHING wrong and don't let him manipulate you into thinking you have.

Really!? Japab
A 40 year old man dumps someone off the cuff after asking them a question which "questions" their love him him

Sounds pretty classic abuser to me.

If I'm wrong, I'll be very happy.
But the OP needs to be aware there is a pattern and this is a major red flag

If he came back to her, and said, sorry, I was being a dick and immature and I'm really happy you have a life long friend then that would be amazing...

@pepperpot99

Tell him to stop being silly and fill in his homework diary.

THIS ^

Sounds pretty classic abuser to me.

That is one explanation, yes. Just can't help but think that some things get bandied about rather hastily.

I get this ArkAngel. My DH is also well aware that I love our dog more than I love him. And we both agree that is exactly how it should be!

Dogs are the best.

Japab
As I said, if he proves us wrong then great

There are a fuck of a lot of abusive partners out there.

If it's true or not, at least it might make her aware.
If he's a great guy, then they can laugh about this when their old.

JAPAB I agree that MN does tend to run off into tangents of assumptions however in this case it’s pretty difficult to imagine a positive scenario given his behaviour.

It’s not just that he asked the question (odd enough) it’s that he broke up with her because he didn’t like the answer “I don’t know”.

I really can’t think of any way to see that behaviour in anything less than a very poor light.