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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Best Friend of 17 years vs Boyfriend of 15 Months

122 replies

cherylann010 · 08/01/2018 13:05

My boyfriend of 15 months ask me "if me and your best friend (male of 17yrs) were kidnapped and you had to kill one of us which would you chose" i reply honestly and say "i really don't know"...

Now he has broke up with me.. literally 5 minutes before the question we were talking about moving in together and possibly marrying next year or two.. is this not a complete over reaction?

My ex has never showed any signs of jealously over said friend in the past. 17 years of pure platonic friendship. In fact i refer to him as my brother.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/01/2018 14:23

I agree, this is him showing you he's jealous and insecure. Don't be flattered by this. You'll end up walking on egg shells and monitoring your own behaviour to avoid bruising his ego.

Are you all kidnapped in the scenario? Are you killing one of them to eat them because you have no access to food?
In which case, going for the meatiest person is the only sensible option.

Lovemusic33 · 08/01/2018 14:24

I would send him a text saying “in answer to your previous question ‘who would I save?’, the answer would be my best friend, he has been there for me for 17 years, you on the other hand have been around 15 months and have just shown your true colours in being a jealous twat, good luck for the future and goodbye”.

Really, he’s 40 years old FFS, do you really want to marry someone who asks you such childish questions?

UrgentExitRequired · 08/01/2018 14:33

Hahaha sorry, I thought you and your OP were teenagers! He is 40!?!?!?! If he wants to walk I would let him, sounds like he just wanted an excuse to break up with you. Horrible man.

SeaEagleFeather · 08/01/2018 14:38

Dodged a bullet there. It's gotta hurt, but at 34 you must also realise that he's a tosspot yourself!

Trinity66 · 08/01/2018 14:39

Genius Lovemusic33

do that OP Grin

GinandGingerBeer · 08/01/2018 14:40

🚩🚩🚩
Ahh he’s one of them. Don’t engage with this sort of shit. Be thankful he’s shown his true colours.

BattleCuntGalactica · 08/01/2018 14:45

Well he sounds like a total mouldy pisskettle.

PriaMaicel · 08/01/2018 14:50

Your ex bf has just done you a massive favour, count your blessings. Block, delete and on to the next one!

FoofFighter · 08/01/2018 15:03

wow. Bullet well and truly dodged.Confused

Arkangel · 08/01/2018 15:10

What? Is this real?

My DP is well aware I still don't love him as much as I loved my dog. My dog was the world though.

AutumnalTed · 08/01/2018 15:13

Imagine if you’d had kidsGrin

AutumnalTed · 08/01/2018 15:13

But also, good riddance

nousername123 · 08/01/2018 15:14

He's 34?? Good riddance if this is his attitude. You consider this friend a brother so would he expect you to choose him over your family? Being in love and loving someone is completely different. I would choose my brother over any man x

SilverySurfer · 08/01/2018 15:16

What a plonker. You definitely dodged a bullet.

midnightmisssuki · 08/01/2018 15:16

Jesus Christ. I despair. He's 40????!!! Thank your lucky stars this fool broke up with you.

Willow2017 · 08/01/2018 15:22

The very fact that he thought this shit up is a red flag!

He is a childish idiot you have definately dodged one there.
If he comes back with excuses "Oh but I love you so much I would kill XXX for you, why wouldnt you kill XX for me?" and conditions or more proof of your devotion tell him to do one.

tigerrun · 08/01/2018 15:23

Blimey - I presumed from your OP that you were a teenager and this was a conversation in the sixth form common room (even then it would still be immature). What a dick, you dodged a bullet there - imagine if you'd had kids (self centred man children don't tend to deal with that well).

Agerbilatemycardigan · 08/01/2018 15:29

Send him to his room and make him think about what he's done, then stop his pocket money.

BigBaboonBum · 08/01/2018 15:35

Lol can you imagine the awkward conversation he has to have with whoever asks him why you broke up. Be glad you got rid

BenLui · 08/01/2018 15:43

Make sure you have actually dodged the bullet OP.

Because I agree with pp, he’s going to come back once he thinks he’s punished you enough.

And he’s going to come back with extravagant apologies and professions of undying love which excuse his dreadful behaviour.

And then he’s going to start controlling your life.

It doesn’t matter if you loved him up until this moment. If you take him back it’s going to go terribly, terribly wrong.

Save yourself years of heartache. Maintain the current status quo.

unfortunateevents · 08/01/2018 15:46

Surely everyone should have gone back to school by now?

JaneEyre70 · 08/01/2018 15:46

Christ on a bike, is he for real?? Please don't take him back, he sounds like an utter twat.

amusedbush · 08/01/2018 15:47

zoenichole158

No, OP is 34 and this clown of a man is 40.

NellyFrestelli · 08/01/2018 15:48

Would just like to echo pp's and hold op's hand that he WILL be back and it won't be good. Please hold firm and move on with your life.

You could meet a fully formed, kind, genuine, decent man to spend the rest of your life with this year, but not if you allow this cretin back into your life.

He's a wrong un!

HopingForSomeSnow · 08/01/2018 15:48

You failed his secret, pathetic little test....

He's an idiot.