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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be appalled at neighbours joke

120 replies

JessWinson108 · 07/01/2018 17:31

So while leaving I bumped into my neighbour to the right of us while leaving to get some shopping. I was with my teenage DD at the time and he told us that he had sold his house and would be moving sometime in the next two months. He then added he is moving to be closer to family in Sussex, however I asked how quickly it took to sell the house and it he said it went after only a week and he sold it to a muslim family then he proceeded to say just kidding its a white family. [shocked]. I said his joke was distasteful and I couldn't care what religion my neighbours are and he was wrong to presume I would dislike muslim neighbours. We got in the car in a state of shock. Although this area is majority white its still a very diverse part of South London. I never thought he would be racist he puts a Labour board up each election and he's university educated. Maybe as a white women I am oblivious to peoples prejudices. Nevertheless this comes as a huge shock.

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 07/01/2018 19:00

killforcarrots
I never thought he would be racist he puts a Labour board up each election

Considering the way Labour treats Jews, why are you surprised?
Labour is a thoroughly racist party.

Absolutely, I laughed when I read the sentence highlighted in your post and 100% agree that Labour is riddled with racists. It starts right at the top with Corbyn and his Hamas and Hezbollah pals. I thought everyone knew that?

He was, of course, wrong to say what he did but I don't think it warranted being in a state of shock. I hate to think what state you would be in if you heard some of the vile racist comments I've heard directed at my non-white friends.

museumum · 07/01/2018 19:00

I don’t see why being sucked is so shocking. I’ve honestly never had a neighbour make a derogatory comment to me about another race assuming I’d agree!
I obviously know overt racism exists and that subconscious prejudice is widespread but in all honestly where I live people just do not say these things openly even if they think them. And nobody I really know would even think them!

streetlife70s · 07/01/2018 19:02

Well you’ve learned that educated white people who vote labour are not perfect saints. Maybe even...remainers could be racist Shock who knew eh op?

squishysquirmy · 07/01/2018 19:07

I can understand you being shocked, op. Don't know why you're being given a hard time; we should be shocked by ithat kind of bullshit, even if it is all too common!

There is a big difference between being aware that racism is a problem, and hearing blatant Islamophobia/racism from someone you previously thought was a good person.

eg, I am not shocked anymore to hear my right wing step father say racist things because I know what he is like, but I would be shocked if someone I respected said them.

But there are plenty of racist people who vote Labour. Twats abound across the political spectrum and you were v. naive op to assume otherwise!

Flyingflipflop · 07/01/2018 19:08

I don’t see why being sucked is so shocking. Grin

I would of been shocked being sucked on my way shopping too.....

allegretto · 07/01/2018 19:08

I can remember telling me about a neighbour saying something similar to her in 1974! Your neighbour doesn't sound like he's moved on much.

wherethevioletsgrow · 07/01/2018 19:09

Racism happens to white people as well

No, it doesn't. It might do on a superficial level as in a black person saying 'I don't like white people'. But that is not true racism. White people have never been persecuted or oppressed because of their race.

Lizzie48 · 07/01/2018 19:15

It is a shock to realise that someone you know and think is ok is racist, so I'm not surprised it got to the OP. It's a massive jump from there to come to the conclusion that she's prejudiced too, a lot of MNers just look for the opportunity to attack OPs, I find.

I remember a few years ago, I met another mum at a local sure start centre, who had a DD the same age as DD1, that is 2 years old. We arranged play dates and got on really well. Then she posted a hateful comment in her status about Muslims so I removed her from my friends list. I challenged her directly though so as not to take the coward's way out, she said she wanted to feel free to post whatever she wanted, so that was that. We're no longer friends now, I didn't want my DD (or me for that matter) exposed to that kink of shit.

donquixotedelamancha · 07/01/2018 19:17

Meh, just sounded like a joke to me. Some people are way too sensitive.

I think that of about 90% of the offence taken by MNers. I don't see how anyone could possibly take this joke any other way.

Lizzie48 · 07/01/2018 19:17

I wouldn't say I was shocked, though. It was very depressing but not exactly shocking, sadly.

zzzzz · 07/01/2018 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverySurfer · 07/01/2018 19:18

I don’t see why being sucked is so shocking

Surely it depends on who is sucking? Grin

Fuckit2017 · 07/01/2018 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 07/01/2018 19:25

Twitter sorry if I'm being dense here - so are you inferring from what happened that the OP is Islamophobic and it's impossible to tell whether or not the neighbour is?

usedtogotomars · 07/01/2018 19:28

What violets means is that white people have a natural advantage. Yes, sometimes there is surface level racism towards white people but the deeper subliminal stuff isn’t there. And that’s harder to challenge.

Doubletrouble99 · 07/01/2018 19:29

He made a stupid comment! Maybe someone else in the street had been commenting on who was moving in and what religion they were and he just said it. I actually don't think he is necessarily racist. Just a bit of an idiot really.

mummmy2017 · 07/01/2018 19:30

Was expecting a rude joke about 3 men and a bull, not a comment...

specialsubject · 07/01/2018 19:32

So much for friendly multicultural London, which voted remain and so can't be racist. What a shocking set of stories.

zzzzz · 07/01/2018 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usedtogotomars · 07/01/2018 19:36

And those parts of the world are rich and powerful and influential?

BashStreetKid · 07/01/2018 19:37

Meh, just sounded like a joke to me

I think OP worked that one out, Peekaboo. But it's a bigoted, highly inappropriate "joke".

lottiegarbanzo · 07/01/2018 19:42

Well done for being so direct with him. What a twunt.

jocktamsonsbairn · 07/01/2018 19:44

I remember an estate agent apologising to me that a Mr Singh wanted to put in an offer on my house!! I was totally and utterly gobsmacked!!! He then proceeded to make it worse by whispering that 'the Mum is white so the kids are mixed'!!!! I did report him to the agency and I hope the family were happy in the house! But still to this day cannot quite believe it actually happened!

zzzzz · 07/01/2018 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wherethevioletsgrow · 07/01/2018 19:54

isedtogotomars you are describing the experience of being white in Europe/the west. Contrary to popular belief there are large parts of the world where the attitudes and experiences are very different.

Even in other parts of the world where white people live, they are nearly always part of the historical ruling elite. Take South Africa, Zimbabwe etc. There aren't really any places in the world where white people have settled but have been traditionally repressed in the same way as black or Asian immigrants here. There may be superficial anti-white sentiment, but never on an institutional level because even in the countries that you name as racist like China and UAE, whites have historically been the rulers.