To think DSis OH was a bit... weird?

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

(I’ve been stewing on this a bit) DSis has a new boyfriend, and brought him round a couple of weeks ago to meet me, DH and 3yo DS.

DS is still in pull-ups, he had additional needs and isn’t really potty trained at all yet. However, he claimed to need the potty at the time DSis and her boyfriend were visiting, so of course I sat him on it straight away, just to the side of the room slightly. As he sat down the boyfriend looked pointedly at DS’s genitals and said ‘Oooh, nice one DSname, they’ll see you right in life!’ - it was v obvious he was congratulating my child on his (average, I think) genitals.

At the time I kind of laughed it off, but later on after they’d left it really started to bother me. Why comment on my kid’s genitals at all? I mean, I get that you might not be able to help looking at them but he’s a little boy using a potty, not a mate in the locker room.

Was he a bit u? Am I overthinking this?!

Completely inappropriate. It won’t be the first or last time this man says something stupid like that either.

Ah, he just sounds nervous. Let that one go. Was he nice otherwise?

I’ve met him again since and am forming the opinion that he’s a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 30 something man.

I find it strange since it is the first time meeting you. I might of let it go if he had known my ds for a while but definitely not on the first introduction. YANBU. It is weird.

Weird.

But also weird you didn't use the potty in a different room.

It was a moronic thing to say, yes. But possibly out of not knowing the normal protocol when faced with an unfamiliar child about to take a dump in full view of visitors! Couldn't you have taken him to the bathroom?

Ah. Well, that is different. Is your sister interested in a do-er upper for a boyfriend?!

I used the potty in the same room because that’s where he’s used it previously, and he would’ve freaked out if I took it elsewhere. Honestly, the fact that he’d asked was a miracle. I did try to do the whole thing discretely, while DH carried on the conversation.

But also weird you didn't use the potty in a different room.

Yes. What if it was a poo

Yeah, if I was visiting someone I didn't know well and they allowed their child to sit down and curl one out in front of me I wouldn't know where to put myself

It was still an odd thing for him to say though. He's probably just a bit of a meathead.

Does all the family take a dump in front of strangers ?

I can imagine the thread that he would make, tbh

A bit strange all round, really

We have a lounge/diner and I moved the potty into the dining area. I didn’t sit DS immediately in front of him!

Smells waft in open plan living.

We have a friend who's completely awkward around kids. He's completely harmless, just says inappropriate things, then beats himself up for days after.
For example, a 4 yr old girl was showing off her dress, gave him a twirl, to which he replied "Oh yes, lovely, you look very..... sexy." He immediately wanted to curl up and die, but we all know he doesn't mean anything.

I read it and instantly thought nervousness. I don't think there's anything sinister or weird going on, and he hasn't said anything inappropriate since.

I'd forget and move on. If a kid I'd never met in my life asked to go to the toilet and the parents got the potty out in the same room as me I wouldn't know where to look!

I would put him on notice. It may be a one off caused by embarrassment.

Maybe we should have a thread about appropriate reactions to having a small child sit down and snap one off during a social call!

Honestly ignore the comments about your ds sitting on the potty in another part of the room from pps, you didn't ask their opinion on that

I think you dsis boyfriend was a bit inappropriate. Why anyone would feel the need to comment on a child's genitals is beyond me. Perhaps give him a bye ball this time but pull him on it if there are any further comments?

There's an excellent thread in classics about shit(!) dinner parties and an MNer had to eat her dinner with the host's child perched on a potty on the table.

I think he was probably embarrassed to see a toddler on the potty and made a silly thoughtless remark!

Next time I'd put the potty in another room or ask them to go into the kitchen while he used it. If you're not used to children, seeing one on the potty is a bit awkward and offputting.

I think he was probably embarrassed by you putting DS on the potty in front of him and out of his comfort zone and blurted out the first thing that came into his head.

I would cut him some slack this time - you found his comment odd but there again he probably thought you were odd using the potty in front of a stranger.

Well I definitely wouldn’t go as far as perching him on the table! TBH I kinda knew he wouldn’t go (he didn’t) but I didn’t want to ignore his request. I did move the potty to the dining area and apologise!

I suspect he was embarrassed, so wouldn't personally judge him on it.

Sounds like he was embarrassed.

In answer to your question OP, yes, weirdo !