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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DSis OH was a bit... weird?

98 replies

lookingforthecorkscrew · 06/01/2018 19:16

(I’ve been stewing on this a bit) DSis has a new boyfriend, and brought him round a couple of weeks ago to meet me, DH and 3yo DS.

DS is still in pull-ups, he had additional needs and isn’t really potty trained at all yet. However, he claimed to need the potty at the time DSis and her boyfriend were visiting, so of course I sat him on it straight away, just to the side of the room slightly. As he sat down the boyfriend looked pointedly at DS’s genitals and said ‘Oooh, nice one DSname, they’ll see you right in life!’ - it was v obvious he was congratulating my child on his (average, I think) genitals.

At the time I kind of laughed it off, but later on after they’d left it really started to bother me. Why comment on my kid’s genitals at all? I mean, I get that you might not be able to help looking at them but he’s a little boy using a potty, not a mate in the locker room.

Was he a bit u? Am I overthinking this?!

OP posts:
Wotrewelookinat · 06/01/2018 19:49

Another one who thinks he was probably just embarrassed and feeling awkward. I would give him another chance.

stickytoffeevodka · 06/01/2018 19:52

If a relative stranger plonked their toddler on a potty in front of me I wouldn't know where to look, in all honesty.

Sounds like he's just embarrassed.

InsomniacAnonymous · 06/01/2018 19:56

Did you ask your daughter what she wanted to do for her birthday? If you didn't, but your husband did, hence the trip, maybe they think you've no interest.

TheNightbird · 06/01/2018 19:56

YABVVU to expect other people to sit there while your child (potentially) defecated. Why would you train your DS to shit in the lounge in the first place?

InsomniacAnonymous · 06/01/2018 19:57

Sorry, wrong thread.

Wineasaurous · 06/01/2018 19:58

@QueenAmongstMen link please! Sounds like a hoot!

Wineasaurous · 06/01/2018 19:58

Oopse, I mean @TheQueenOfWands

ivykaty44 · 06/01/2018 19:59

Oh you’re man who thinks size is important rather than what you actually do with it - what a shame... never mind sis

youarenotkiddingme · 06/01/2018 20:01

Agree it sounds like embarrassment.

Some people don't possess a filter and say totally inappropriate things - but in this day and age we are programmed to always thinking that means they are sinister.

Quite often it's just a brain fart!

Elsiejane · 06/01/2018 20:03

Quite often it's just a brain fart!
Love this! Never ever heard it but shall be using it in future!!!

FrancisUnderwood · 06/01/2018 20:03

Awkward nervous comment I expect.
As normal as it is for you, seeing a toddler naked from the waist down is kind of weird for non parents.

TheQueenOfWands · 06/01/2018 20:04

Google MN classics. I think it's the one which asks, "What's the weirdest thing someone has done when you went to their house."

But there is a few like that.

But they're all fucking funny so you should definitely read them.

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 06/01/2018 20:06

He sounds socially clumsy more than anything.......and take him in the loo next time !

WeirdCatLady · 06/01/2018 20:07

Another vote here for him being embarrassed at you plonking your child on a potty in front of him. Wouldn’t you be better off teaching your child to go to the bathroom? I think it’s a bit gross to use the potty in the living room, especially as you had guests. 🤢

Pseudousername · 06/01/2018 20:15

imaginary cat I'll be laughing about your awkward mate all night. Hilarious bless him.

ladystarkers · 06/01/2018 20:18

Ofgs your being OTT.

Notsureaboutmuchanymore · 06/01/2018 20:22

OP people seem to be ignoring the fact you have clearly stated your DS has additional needs and therefore “ moving the potty elsewhere” or “ using the bathroom only” might not be practical Hmm

It was an odd comment but he could of been nervous...I would meet him a few more times before thinking too much of it

lostinspaceyetagain · 06/01/2018 20:24

The midwife said the same about my son when he was newborn!

iklboo · 06/01/2018 20:28

DS can touch the bottom of his chin with his tongue. A friend of DH's said 'he'll keep the ladies happy with that if you can teach him to breathe through his ears'.

Shadow1986 · 06/01/2018 20:28

Sounds like he felt awkward and he was trying to make light of an awkward situation.

Original poster
lookingforthecorkscrew · 06/01/2018 20:33

Well yes Notsure and tbh I haven’t responded to that because I’m exhausted from having to explain to pretty much everybody except my DH that my DS isn’t necessarily like other kids, and doing so on here too is just a bit tiresome. You’re right though, he wouldn’t sit on a toilet.

OP posts:
Onetwothree2018 · 06/01/2018 20:37

Letting your child shit in front of strangers (or anyone) is weird! Poor man probably felt uncomfortable 😣

HipNewName · 06/01/2018 20:46

I think it is really weird. Feeling awkward around a potty training toddler is one thing, commenting on the size of penis is quite another.

I feel for you. I have a DD who was always a little different, did things a little later than other children. It's tough. One way to look at it is that it lets you sort through other people easier. I decided that people who were rude to my DD just weren't worth my time, and that kept me from being friends with people who were immature, superficial, and so on.

Could you talk to your sister about talking to her lastest BF about your son, and about the fact that commenting on children's genitals is odd and that if he keeps it up, you won't be able to have him around your child, which really would be a pity.

Original poster
lookingforthecorkscrew · 06/01/2018 20:51

Thanks for understanding where I’m coming from Hip, I’m just glad the comment went right over DS’s head.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 06/01/2018 20:51

I also think he was embarassed so said something daft. I think everyone has done that at some point.

I also understand that your child has additional needs in potty training so didn't want to move the potty, but I also am confused as to why you chose the lounge as the initual place for his potty and not the loo, as you know teaching your child to go to the toilet in the loo or dining area isn't really the best of plans long term,..