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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me relax and stop obsessing over my period?

35 replies

Secretlifeofme · 06/01/2018 18:16

I am currently lying awake (it's 2.10am where I am) unable to sleep because we have been TTC for 15 months, I'm 38, I've had two miscarriages, my period is due today and I am both desperate to test and frightened that I'll get a BFN :(
I have had increasingly painful boobs since I ovulated, am bloated and gassy, and have had creamy CM. However, I have so far done 3 tests, one at 8dpo, one at 10dpo and one yesterday at 12dpo- all negative :( The test yesterday probably doesn't count though as I did it at about 4pm having drunk lots of water, coffee and orange juice all day.
But now I am really stressing out about testing in the morning. I both want to and don't want to Confused. I really need to get some sleep and hope I'm not being too U to ask for some help in calming down a bit! Please??

OP posts:
Monoblock67 · 06/01/2018 18:18

The outcome of whatever you do in the morning isn’t going to chance by you lying awake worrying about it OP. Try and get some sleep so you’re well rested.
I hope you get the answer you’re wanting Flowers

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/01/2018 18:20

I know that's true monoblock, thank you. I'm not a great sleeper at the best of times but this is getting beyond a joke!

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 06/01/2018 18:23

IVE been there and have two teens now! Tx for 15 months for no.1 inc one early m/c. I was obsessed and had these sleepless nights over it. In the end I got there - twice! - so hang in there.

JustDanceAddict · 06/01/2018 18:23

Ttc, not Tx.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 06/01/2018 18:24

Sending positive vibes Flowers

I know how hard that wait is. We had multiple miscarriages. And the wait to test was unbearable.

Agree with monoblock. Worrying won't make any difference (though I know it doesn't make it any easier!)

can you distract yourself with the radio or a podcast. I find listening to people talk helps. As I have to concentrate on what they're saying.

I know it's easier said than done. But try to sleep and look after yourself. Flowers

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/01/2018 18:24

Thanks JustDance, it helps to know others have been in the same boat and had a positive outcome :)

OP posts:
NoStraightEdges · 06/01/2018 18:26

Well, you have two choices. Get up and do something. A household job, or watch a Tv show. And see how you feel once you've done that. (Sleepy, or ready for more)

Or try and sleep now-phone off, get comfy and do breathing excercises or a mediatation or whatever.

Good luck. Life can be tough, can't it? Flowers

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/01/2018 18:26

Thanks aaargh- your username made me smile as it describes how I feel! Grin
Listening does help - I listen to audio books sometimes. Maybe I'll try that. Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 06/01/2018 18:28

NoStraight getting up would be a great idea but we live in a smallish flat and it would disturb DH, unfortunately. I know I need to put my phone down - it's not helping - but mumsnet is such a godsend at times!

OP posts:
Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 04:40

Just to update, I had pink on the loo roll when I wiped this morning, so I think I have my answer! Thanks for the support last night Flowers

OP posts:
Coastalcommand · 07/01/2018 05:54

Sending lots of love. Hope you get your good news soon. If it’s any help, we are trying too. Can your doctor help?

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 07/01/2018 07:01

Ah I was thinking about you last night (but I didn't want to post in case my update woke you up!)

Sorry to hear this. Flowers hope you have good news soon. If it helps - I'm about your age and had three miscarriages but it ended well with our little monkey. Just wanted to share some positive stories.

I don't know where you are but if you been trying for so long can you speak to your doctor? We had some blood tests and X Ray's done after the

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 07/01/2018 07:02

Hit post!
We had some tests done basically. Could they help?

Sending loads of positive vibes Flowers

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 07:18

Thanks - we have had tests done but everything is coming back normal, apparently we are just unlucky :( onwards and upwards!

OP posts:
ChangingStates · 07/01/2018 07:22

Has the pink developed into your period? Not to get your hopes up but I had pink in wiping, assumed it was my period but turned out to be an implantation bleed...

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 07:26

Thank you changingstates but although it hasn't developed much yet, it feels as though it will iyswim! Also is a bit late for implantation I think as I'm 13dpo today.

OP posts:
isthismummy · 07/01/2018 07:26

Hi op,

I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriagesFlowers I had one myself last June and they are utterly devastating.

Are you eligible for fertility treatment on NHS at all? If you have been trying for 15 months at 38 with normal test results then you should be classed as having unexplained infertility. Without wishing to be harsh, time is not on your side (and I say that as a 39 year old who has been trying for over two years now) I would really suggest a trip back to GP or starting to look at private treatment if that's an option for you.

Best of luckSmile

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 07:30

Hi isthismummy, I am not in the UK so things are a bit different. Also I have had two pregnancies in the last 15 months, so although they ended in miscarriage I do feel as though we have a chance. I don't know how I feel about fertility treatment - think I would like to try to conceive naturally for a while longer and then decide Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 14:34

UPDATE!!! So this morning I did a FRER and got a BFN. HOWEVER when I wiped, as I was waiting for the test, I saw pink on the toilet roll so I'm really not sure I waited long enough for the test result to develop - just got pissed off because I assumed it was AF and shoved the test in the cupboard.

ANYWAY then I have had no further blood since 4am (when I did the test - it's now 10.30pm. So that's weird because if it were AF I should at least have spotting by now. And THEN I had a look at my FRER from this morning and there is a definite faint pink line!! Now I know it's way after the test window but could this possibly be a BFP after all? Or could it be an evap line? I've read that evap lines are usually grey, but this is definitely pink.

ARGGHH So confused!! Thoughts please?

OP posts:
APMom · 07/01/2018 15:16

I hope it is positive. I’ve never had evaporation lines on a pg test before but have read about lots of people getting them.

Original poster
Secretlifeofme · 07/01/2018 15:18

Thank you APMom! I really hope so too but again I'm terrified of testing in the morning for fear of a negative result :(

OP posts:
BlondeB83 · 07/01/2018 15:20

I have been TTC for 2 years now (with a 6 month break last year). I feel your pain but have finally got through the obsessive stage. It’s awful. We are seeing the doc soon.

BlondeB83 · 07/01/2018 15:20

Test again OP!

doowapwap · 07/01/2018 15:22

I really hope you get a BFP. It's such a scary time and stressful too.

I've got fingers crossed for you

ClaryFray · 07/01/2018 15:24

It's sucks OP! Test again and see. Sending lots of baby dust