To ask you to help me relax and stop obsessing over my period?

[Secretlifeofme]

I am currently lying awake (it's 2.10am where I am) unable to sleep because we have been TTC for 15 months, I'm 38, I've had two miscarriages, my period is due today and I am both desperate to test and frightened that I'll get a BFN :(
I have had increasingly painful boobs since I ovulated, am bloated and gassy, and have had creamy CM. However, I have so far done 3 tests, one at 8dpo, one at 10dpo and one yesterday at 12dpo- all negative :( The test yesterday probably doesn't count though as I did it at about 4pm having drunk lots of water, coffee and orange juice all day.
But now I am really stressing out about testing in the morning. I both want to and don't want to . I really need to get some sleep and hope I'm not being too U to ask for some help in calming down a bit! Please??

Thanks all, I will test again in the morning and update you - it will be around 10pm this evening uk time!

This has some good pics of evap lines and general info about the different tests etc:

peestickparadise.com/evaporation_lines.html

Fingers crossed for your BFP, OP.

Forget about it for 2 weeks & then you'll know for sure.
You thinking about it, won't make it happen.

OK so I tested this morning, looked at the test in the correct time frame...

THERE IS A SECOND LINE!!

It is really super faint but I am so excited!!

Congratulations!

Congratulations 💖

Fingers crossed for you.

I took 3 years first time round and no 2 was a surprise. I had breakthrough bleeding with him before my period was due and at 6 weeks and 8 weeks. I really hope this is it and you'll need cabbage down your bra and matchsticks to keep your eyes open a few months from now.

Ahhh congratulations

Took us 2 years to get BFP. So amazing to see that second line! Congratulations to you!

Thank you guys! I am trying really hard not to be too optimistic because of the two previous miscarriages. Also it's so early (4+3) that there's still a risk of a chemical - my AF is only one day late. But still, seeing the second line was an exciting moment!