This is ridiculous

[cuddly61]

So I vet already posted about my o/h family coming to stay and wanting us to buy their preferred brand of food.
So the O/h went to collect their aunt. Came back with shopping he had brought for his aunt to have while here. Even tins of baked beans which we have already in the food cupboard,but my brand wasn’t the right brand apparently.i don’t buy cheap baked beans it’s like like my beans are a supermarket own brand. And my o/ h had brought the brand of bread his aunt prefers. So the bread I had brought didn’t get eaten and had to throw it out . So I was getting really irked by this.
Now as we all mostly have I have storage jars for tea coffee and sugar on my worktop. But the tea bags that was already in the storage jar was not his aunts preferred brand and he got the ones that was out of the food cupboard,as these was his aunts preferred brand .but I have like a system where food etc brought first gets used first if you understand what I mean. But I find it ridiculous to go and be a guest in someone’s house and want different brands of food.its a wonder my cheap loo rolls suited his aunt lol.
I made no attempt to buy her preferred brands I told my o/ h his aunt would have to eat what we already had in then he went and brought her preferred brands .i was trying to make a stance on this.
But honestly can I ask would you go and be a guest in someone’s house and ask for a certain brand of food,even baked beans and tea bags . Ok if I’m offered coffee in someone’s house I do ask what brand only because if it’s a supermarkets own I know I won’t be able to drink it so then I can just ask for a cup of tea ,but I do try to see what coffe my host has so I don’t have to ask but I would never say I want a certain brand of coffee and expect them to go out and buy it. Normally at home I drink decaf coffee but I wouldn’t go and stay with his relatives and ask them to buy decaf for me . Sorry but I find all this rather rude .i was brought up that when a guest in someone’s house you either eat what is given to you or if you don’t like it either just leave it on your plate or politely decline .

Yabu. It’s your husbands house too so why should your “rules” be the only ones that count?

That's a bit insane to be honest. If people are allergic or have intolerances then fair enough but insisting on certain brands is just weird when you are a guest in someone else's home. If people have a preference on white bread verses brown then that's a bit more understandable but if I were a guest I'd just be grateful they were feeding me and putting me up. Put your foot down. If she wants to be lady muck then she can buy her own food next time.

I suppose some people like what they like. My mum is like this with tea, she only likes certain brands and the same with cereal and milk. I buy it for her when she comes to stay and she gets me what I like. You seem to be the same with coffee in a way?

It depends how they ask and how demanding they are about it.

Gosh. You are hard work.

Many people having guests would go out of their way to accommodate them. I buy my mothers favourite coffee even though no-one in our house drinks it.

This must be a wind up or a reverse- you are so rude to others when you visit that you ask what brand the coffee is?

I totally agree with op.

the aunt is hard work.

That's ridiculous. Buy a few of her favourite things for sure but to entirely replace your store cupboard for someone? It's insane! What did she do send over a shopping list in advance?

My mum keeps the tea I like in at her house so I can have it when I go over, she likes to do it. No biggie. When family come to ours I get in certain things they like as well.

Quite hypocritical of you OP, considering you won't drink supermarket coffee.

You are exactly the same!!!

If I can afford it I will buy my guests preferred brands/foods. If I can't afford it/have the time then I don't.

I always ask what they prefer to eat/do in the evenings too.

You sound a pain, who are you to tell your husband what he can and can't buy in for family staying?

If someone is that fussy they should take their own bloody foodstuffs with them!!

OP, you've mentioned 'brand' or 'preferred brand' at least 13 times in your post that I can count . I think you might have become slightly, erm, over-focused on this.

Think of it as a temporary beans on toast situation. Zen.

It's nice to be hospitable and make your guests feel at home. I wouldn't request stuff myself, but I wouldn't have a problem if I was hosting someone else.

I don't really see the problem. Surely, its all part of having guests - especially relations. We have just had DH's 12 year old neice to stay and her mother insists on a dairy, gluten, soya free diet - choice, there are no allergies. We bought lactose free milk, but she came with a loaf of her preferred gluten free bread and sugar free jam.

I think if you are very particular and set in your ways its nice to bring a few bits but as your DH went out an bought the extras for his aunt - not that much of a hardship really.

You eat what is given to you when you are a guest.

When you are a host, you endeavour to provide things that your guest likes, instead of things that you know your guest DOESN'T like in order to make a "stance".

Your husband's aunt is not a good guest, but your husband is a good host.

I think they were being far too fussy. I wouldn't expect my brand preferences at someone else's house. If I didn't want to eat something, I'd politely decline it - I wouldn't request a substitute.

Just as an aside, you could have popped the bread in the freezer to use after they'd left.

Yep the only person coming out of this covered in glory is your DH. Which doesn't happen often on MN.

Although no doubt someone will be along soon to say how awful he is undermining you like that.

Why didn't you freeze the excess bread you like rather than flinging it out?

Aunt sounds like a proper nuisance. But I must confess I have told my mother I won't drink her Morrison's own brand instant and to buy some gold blend. Baked beans and stuff though, that's bonkers.

If I remember your previous thread correctly, he’s not your husband, and it’s your house not his?
If so, you need to stop having these people to stay. They ride roughshod over you every time....and he’s just as bad, if not worse.

My Mum was like this. I think it's an old folks thing. TBH for a quiet life I'd just go along with it. I hate cheap brands of baked beans too but I wouldn't dream of saying anything in somebody else's house.

Brought - you bring
Bought - you buy

I'm at SIL's right now and have brought my own coffee as I really don't like the brand they buy. It's undrinkable to me and a whole weekend without coffee isn't very enjoyable. I also have brought butter as SIL only has margarine and DD and I love butter instead. But would I expect someone else to spend money* because I* prefer other types/brands? God no! I also leave whatever I buy here for anyone to use after we've gone.

YANBU. You get what you are given when you are staying with somebody. I prefer Heinz baked beans, my mum buys supermarket brand. I eat those when I am there. I eat whatever bread she has. She buys cheap coffee granules, decaf, which I don't like, but I drink it when I am there and enjoy my branded coffee at home.

If his aunt wants something specific, then she should bring it with her.

I haven't read the previous threads but suspect they may be quite enlightening.

However, based on what you have said, YABU. If I knew a house guest only ate Heinz BB that is what I would buy. Only liked PG Tips, no problem. It's basic hosting surely? Big difference though between buying three or four things your guests would like to "emptying and changing your entire food cupboards" and am not sure which it is here.

You have happily admitted you have similar food issues. I think unless this is tip of the iceberg territory, you should be a bit nicer.