This is ridiculous

[cuddly61]

So I vet already posted about my o/h family coming to stay and wanting us to buy their preferred brand of food.
So the O/h went to collect their aunt. Came back with shopping he had brought for his aunt to have while here. Even tins of baked beans which we have already in the food cupboard,but my brand wasn’t the right brand apparently.i don’t buy cheap baked beans it’s like like my beans are a supermarket own brand. And my o/ h had brought the brand of bread his aunt prefers. So the bread I had brought didn’t get eaten and had to throw it out . So I was getting really irked by this.
Now as we all mostly have I have storage jars for tea coffee and sugar on my worktop. But the tea bags that was already in the storage jar was not his aunts preferred brand and he got the ones that was out of the food cupboard,as these was his aunts preferred brand .but I have like a system where food etc brought first gets used first if you understand what I mean. But I find it ridiculous to go and be a guest in someone’s house and want different brands of food.its a wonder my cheap loo rolls suited his aunt lol.
I made no attempt to buy her preferred brands I told my o/ h his aunt would have to eat what we already had in then he went and brought her preferred brands .i was trying to make a stance on this.
But honestly can I ask would you go and be a guest in someone’s house and ask for a certain brand of food,even baked beans and tea bags . Ok if I’m offered coffee in someone’s house I do ask what brand only because if it’s a supermarkets own I know I won’t be able to drink it so then I can just ask for a cup of tea ,but I do try to see what coffe my host has so I don’t have to ask but I would never say I want a certain brand of coffee and expect them to go out and buy it. Normally at home I drink decaf coffee but I wouldn’t go and stay with his relatives and ask them to buy decaf for me . Sorry but I find all this rather rude .i was brought up that when a guest in someone’s house you either eat what is given to you or if you don’t like it either just leave it on your plate or politely decline .

Yanbu - If guests can't live without their favourite brands for a few days they are self obsessed idiots. They should be grateful for the hospitality.

YABU. When DM or MIL visit we get their preferred tea, coffee, milk and butter. If there are any little extras to make them more comfortable we get those too. It’s a matter of seconds chucking a few extra things in the trolley while you’re at the shop, but the feeling of being welcomed and cared about is enormous for the guest.

Please don’t even with the stock rotation nonsense. Tea never goes off. Nor does tinned baked beans. And are you telling me all tinned baked beans are the same? They are vastly different! Everyone has their favourite, surely?

In the aunt’s position I would have just brought the stuff myself, but if DH was nice enough to offer to get it then I really don’t see the problem. That’s between them, no?

YABU for feeding a guest baked beans, unless they are five years old.

^ This. 🤣

YABU for asking people what kind of coffee they are serving and then refusing if it’s own brand. That’s incredibly rude.

Oops, that was meant for Original.

I think the aunt is being unreasonable, unless it is due to allergy's or a WOE, like vegan etc then you should just eat what you are given I think.

Oops religious reasons also.

It depends. Maybe your OH aunts has OCD/anxieties around food. Maybe it's bad enough that she wouldn't come otherwise. Maybe she couldn't bring them if she wasn't driving and otherwise to heavy, hence your OH offering to take her. Maybe she offered to pay and he insisted he did to please her if he only sees her occasionally.

You don't need to take it personally, it doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things as long as you only see her occasionally.

I agree with you OP - if she went to stay in a hotel would she huff and puff at the brands or just get on with it? If she has special dietary needs then fine, but just being finicky about brands is a bit ott. I have decaff and most others don't always, so I always keep some of my tea bags in handbag if we go to someone's house

I would be annoyed if they were opening food when there was already one open, such as the tea, or taking food 'from the back' or a separate cupboard if I had a rotation system. This is assuming that they were aware you had a system in place. If they had a reason why they wanted a different brand to the one on offer then would be polite to ask if they could open that one instead. Wouldn't be bothered if they bought their own preferred foods.

I love my coffee and there’s nothing worse than cheap supermarket brand, surely if your hosting you make it as nice and pleasant as possible.

Do we even know the aunt did "huff and puff" about not having the brands she wants? Or has the op's partner spent a few pounds of his own money on making his aunt feel welcome?

Not seeing the angst here. Especially the drama about food being used in the wrong order.

Tea yes, Only Yorkshire Tea, or I wont bother having any.

Youre the same with coffee, except you're too wet to either take your own or ask if they have any XXX in.

You lost me at “brought food”

You sure,this only bothers you,because the aunt likes her own brands? As in,is there something else,that's annoying you? Maybe your not a fan of the aunt,or a fan of people staying in your house,Or that your husband disagrees with you in this scenario?! Cause truly,if she likes her own beans,tea bags,etc,what's the harm :) remember,Your the exact same!

The aunt is ridiculous but your dp obviously wants to make her feel welcome. Yes he's is going overboard a bit but why does it matter to you so much? Let him get on with it.

I can understand preferences for particular brands. I’m pretty specific about brands for certain things, including tea. Although I wouldn’t bring those up with hosts unless they asked me about them.
I’ve bought stocks of my preferred non-perishables to be kept in my parents and PILs homes for when we visit to save them the bother of buying them (and yes, I checked this was okay with them first, and they’re both fine with me leaving tea bags etc in their cupboards).

If we have guests staying and I’m aware of preferred brands, then I’ll generally try to make sure we’ve got some of the preferred stuff in. Especially if it’s stuff that will keep, like tea bags and baked beans. It seems a bit inhospitable not to, provided you can afford it.

OP is probably in the Midlands. It is quite common there for people to have brought something in a shop and then to have bought it along.

Brought is the past tense of bry.
Bought is the past tense of bing. As in those old fashioned Bing and Bry sales.

Your husband's aunt is not a good guest, but your husband is a good host.

This is spot on. And given that she is his elder, it’s nice and respectful of him to be so thoughtful. Equally she is also family, and in some families the rules for guest behaviour are more relaxed. I think it sounds fine.

I’m guessing he is thoughtful to you too? He sounds like a keeper.

I am totally on the fence with your post.

I too only drink certain coffee (ie real) - if offered anything else I will drink tea in preference. So sometimes I have been known to change my mind if I see instant being offered. So having preferences is OK.

But if I was hosting someone who only drank decaffeinated and we all didnt I would get some in. Why? I suppose that is more of a health type request.

Baked beans do taste different eg I loathe Heinz they are beyond sweet to me but I would still eat them if offered as a guest. I know others prefer white bread to brown so again would probably have both to offer.

But for close family I am like you - we eat the oldest food first!

So I think the pp who wrote aunt poor guest, DH good host nailed it!

Hope you all had a good time though!

Op sounds like a right controlling nag. Her husband must feel like a guest in his own house.

Anytime I am offered a drink at someones house I will ask if its Smirnoff, if its not I will decline. I just wont drink own brand crap and I dont see why I should just because my friends partner has a padlock on the drinks cabinet and refuses to share the good stuff.

But he’s not her husband, and it’s not his house.

It’s not my partners house ,I’m not married to him either. I own the house and it might help if I add he only pays towards half the bills I have to buy his tobacco and our food and any repairs etc on the house I pay for .