This is ridiculous

[cuddly61]

So I vet already posted about my o/h family coming to stay and wanting us to buy their preferred brand of food.
So the O/h went to collect their aunt. Came back with shopping he had brought for his aunt to have while here. Even tins of baked beans which we have already in the food cupboard,but my brand wasn’t the right brand apparently.i don’t buy cheap baked beans it’s like like my beans are a supermarket own brand. And my o/ h had brought the brand of bread his aunt prefers. So the bread I had brought didn’t get eaten and had to throw it out . So I was getting really irked by this.
Now as we all mostly have I have storage jars for tea coffee and sugar on my worktop. But the tea bags that was already in the storage jar was not his aunts preferred brand and he got the ones that was out of the food cupboard,as these was his aunts preferred brand .but I have like a system where food etc brought first gets used first if you understand what I mean. But I find it ridiculous to go and be a guest in someone’s house and want different brands of food.its a wonder my cheap loo rolls suited his aunt lol.
I made no attempt to buy her preferred brands I told my o/ h his aunt would have to eat what we already had in then he went and brought her preferred brands .i was trying to make a stance on this.
But honestly can I ask would you go and be a guest in someone’s house and ask for a certain brand of food,even baked beans and tea bags . Ok if I’m offered coffee in someone’s house I do ask what brand only because if it’s a supermarkets own I know I won’t be able to drink it so then I can just ask for a cup of tea ,but I do try to see what coffe my host has so I don’t have to ask but I would never say I want a certain brand of coffee and expect them to go out and buy it. Normally at home I drink decaf coffee but I wouldn’t go and stay with his relatives and ask them to buy decaf for me . Sorry but I find all this rather rude .i was brought up that when a guest in someone’s house you either eat what is given to you or if you don’t like it either just leave it on your plate or politely decline .

I'm fucked if I can work out where people find the headspace for this shit.

Does your partner live with you but not contribute to the cost of his food? If that's the case it needs to stop.
Also it seems like he'll put himself out for his own family but not for you, that's nova good relationship to be in.
If you stay with this man you need to stand your ground. Don't be forced by him or relations into buying stuff you don't want or can't afford. If he or they want to bring their own stuff in then you shouldn't take issue.

Freeze the extras like bread and don't sweat the other stuff like tea bags and beans that can be used any time.

Perhaps she has some genuine issues around food? Although I think its rude to assume your hosts should pay. We always take food with us when visiting family but they also want to and try to accommodate us by asking what to buy.

maras2 it absolutely IS funny - well MikeUniformMike's post was anyway.

This nonsense is why I don't invite people to stay in my house.

You might have a genuine problem with your OH and even with the visitors to your house but it is perfectly acceptable for someone to buy a few nice items of food for their auntie when she is visiting.

"It’s not my partners house ,I’m not married to him either."

But he is your Partner, so it's his Home, too?

It depends on why he has family staying, do they live far away etc?

Him not contributing when you need him to and him making relatives welcome, are two different things. As said he is being a good host.

You seem very set in your ways and black and white, but entertaining family needs flexibility and, at times, just getting on with it.

You need to sort out him not respecting when you aren't up to guests and any financial issues that you have. Who owns the property is irrelevant, if you have accepted him moving in, you both share a home and should get equal respect.

I'm on the fence a bit.

I mean as a rule if your a guest you eat what you are given as far as you can anyway.

As a host I think it's nice to push the boat out a bit or try and make them feel a bit welcome by getting some things you know they like.

But I do have to admit that despite being polite and thanking people, there are somethings that do make my heart sink when served them. The older I get the harder it is to force things down

When my dp moved in he only are the band names on all food.
I had been a single working mum who bought own make value stuff only.
I always cooked and he never noticed until 6 months later he asked me to teach him to cook.
He is now an amazing bargain Hunter
She probably wouldn't even notice the difference

I read ur last thread and I think it's unbelievably rude if they don't like the food you buy why invite ur self over to stay in the first place I certainly wldnt put up with it I'd have told dp to tell her to do a shop and pay for it herself she is a guest in your house she isn't in a bloody high end hotel

YANBU

It's your house
He only pays half of bills and no rent
He doesn't you give money to buy food
He expects you to buy his tobacco
He invites his family without asking you
He expects you to wait hand and foot on his family
His family expect you to buy their preferred margarine, bread, tea for every visit
You are ill and are having mental health problems

Why are you with this loser? So many women on MN want to leave but can't afford to. You own your own house. Please chuck him out.

No I don't think yabu
She wants somewhere to stay, but not your hospitality.
She'd be better off in self catering accommodation by the sounds of it. Don't let people take advantage of you, OP.

YABU

I think they were being far too fussy. I wouldn't expect my brand preferences at someone else's house. If I didn't want to eat something, I'd politely decline it - I wouldn't request a substitute.

^Agree

Sorry I meant YANBU

Thanks for everyone’s replies . M.i.l. Rang yesterday said she was bringing her grand daughter with her and my partners aunt to stay over night added “ is that ok” I replied no as I’ve not got room only having one guest bed she replied oh it ok she will sleep on the sofa ,knowing both our sofas are only small two seaters and her grandaughter is a adult .
I know some will think I’m just whinging lol but yes I do get annoyed because I know my partners family have never gone for visits when he has lived with his ex partners ,and all the years he had his own house they never visited so I feel why me? Is it because they have realised and think I’m just a push over .
And yes I can understand non smokers not wanting to be around smokers but never has my parents told me in my own house to go outside to smoke ok I just don’t smoke when in the past they visited they would only visit for a afternoon so no problem .but the m.i.l. Insists we smoke outside even in winter .if she genuinely didn’t like smoke then ok but she said herself it’s because her husband doesn’t like the smell of smoke on her when she comes home. And as sometimes she stays a few days it’s darn cold standing outside everytime we want to smoke even other guests like the aunt who stays to has to go outside to smoke. As the smokers on here will prob understand when you first get up first think is a coffee and smoke when you get up lol imagine having to go outside on a frosty morning .
Ok if I’m a guest in someone else’s house of course I smoke outside after all I’m a guest in their house.
But in my own house being told to smoke outside . She wasn’t like this before her husband said something to her.

Sorry to be harsh OP, but you keep coming on here with the same story over and over. Say no to the woman! Tell her she can't come to stay...tell her the aunt can't stay...tell her the granddaughter can't stay. You don't have to give reasons, but if you want to, say you need some time alone in your own house. Get your backbone straightened out!